Divorce but assets in her name

[zender]

I . . . been married to a Taiwanese for almost a year. We actually have a very nice loving relationship, but she is extremely adamant about a divorce . . .

I don't buy it. It's possible that this is the story; it just doesn't pass the smell test.

. . . The issue is money. . . . (I wanna) make sure I won't be screwed and I don't want to screw her. We have a home. Instead of buying a new place, we ended up moving into a place her uncle owns and we spent a lot of money on a big remodel and decorating it. Lots of my money and now it's really nice with expensive furniture, appliances, and electronics. I was under the impression it was a wedding gift . . .

You figured her uncle gave you a home as a wedding present?! Seriously? Is this part of the "only gettin' 5% of the assets" that you're talkin' about? Cuz, you know what the rest of us got from uncles-in-laws as wedding presents?

. . . I paid for (stuff) . . . She mentioned the house isn't ours and the car is hers. Money earned is probably 60% /40% in her favor but she said she can only offer me maybe 5% of the assets worth. What are my options?

If you claim the house is half yours, you're trying to scam her. If she's giving you five cents on the dollar for all the car payments and lovely furniture, she's trying to scam you.

What you had may have been a very nice loving relationship at one time. What you have is, well . . .

Get ready to lose a lot of money. That's what usually happens in a divorce. If you come within half a million NT of what you put into this very brief marriage, you should be doing backflips all the way to Moosejaw. Then chalk it up as a very expensive lesson (or if it makes you feel better, pretend you rented the services of a high-priced hooker for a wild year in the Far East).
Good luck.
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(what's in parentheses is mine)

[pgdaddy1]

I am a Canadian, 3 years on a work visa, who has been married to a Taiwanese for almost a year. We actually have a very nice loving relationship, but she is extremely adamant about a divorce for the sole reason that she just doesn't want to be married and wants to be alone. She's very independent.

Stop fooling yourself that she has any love for you. She wants to get as much out of you as she can. And she probably will.

[steelersman]

I am a Canadian, 3 years on a work visa, who has been married to a Taiwanese for almost a year. We actually have a very nice loving relationship, but she is extremely adamant about a divorce for the sole reason that she just doesn't want to be married and wants to be alone. She's very independent.

The issue is money. Basically, I'm going to leave Taiwan afterwards and need to make sure I won't be screwed and I don't want to screw her. We have a home. Instead of buying a new place, we ended up moving into a place her uncle owns and we spent a lot of money on a big remodel and decorating it. Lots of my money and now it's really nice with expensive furniture, appliances, and electronics. I was under the impression it was a wedding gift, but no name transfer. She has a Mercedes which we bought while engaged. Her name but I paid too. We have a business, both our names are on the rent contract for the space but we don't have a business license. I paid for that with my money but after marriage. We are selling the business now but for peanuts compared to what was paid, we did make money with it. I'm going to leave expensive gifts and personal items out of this, jewelry, watches, etc. Also, we are now living by paycheck because of all this investment in our future but we are living very comfortablely with no problems.

We don't meet any official grounds for a contested divorce. We want to have an easy divorce but money is going to be a problem. She mentioned the house isn't ours and the car is hers. Money earned is probably 60% /40% in her favor but she said she can only offer me maybe 5% of the assets worth. What are my options?

Couldn't she have figured that out before she married you?

[Belgian Pie]

Ever thought about the fact that she could be a 'wedding' swindler? Marries you, tricks you into buying stuff, cleaning you out and than saying sorry, marriage is nothing for me.

[Mr He]

The OP has one weapon up his sleeve, but one only.

If she wants a divorce, he will have to agree. As long as he does not screw around, beat her up, or is disrespectful toward her parents, she cannot force him to sign anything.

End of story, that is his leverage. Now, he should get Northcoast Surfer or a lawyer to do the talking, however he should try to get at least half of what can be recovered back.

And - how many times do any smart guy need to say this:

You only own what is in your name. That is it. If it's in hers name, you are supposed to share, however it gets tricky, so negotiate her socks off, or have a tough lawyer or Northcoast Surfer do it on your hehalf.

And no matter how happily married you are, the way it works is that you keep whatever you pay for in your name. I would never act otherwise, ever.

[Hartzell]

You should own 50% of what was earned through work or your business during marriage.

You need to talk to a lawyer if there is more than say NT$1 million or so involved. Otherwise just don't sign the agreement until you have reached some kind of deal. Make sure you understand what the agreement says and have a lawyer review it.

Feiren's advice is excellent. However, I would also add --

Often times the Taiwan spouse (and/or his/her relatives) will say that YOU HAVE TO SIGN . . . . something . . . . . . but the fact is that under Taiwan law you don't. You do not HAVE TO sign anything.

If the local wife (in your case) is unsatisfied with that, then you should **hint** to her that she should move out.

Later, you can state that her actions amounted to abandonment.

Obviously, now that it has gotten to this point, you should keep a JOURNAL of entries everyday, regarding what was said, what happened, what threats were made, etc. Such JOURNAL entries (with dates and times) will be valuable in the future if you have to go before a judge to get everything settled out.

Remember: In Taiwan, you have to have "legal grounds" for divorce. That is stated in the Civil Law. It is not like California or some US states where you have "no fault" divorce. In fact, there have been several postings on forumosa.com recently where Taiwan judges denied a local person's application for divorce . . . . . . . stating that their COMPLAINT did not meet the threshhold of the legal requirements under Taiwan law to be granted a divorce. (I assume that the source of these stories was most likely the local Taiwanese newspapers.)

Keep all of this in mind.

Also, in light of the above, what will often happen is that the local wife (in situations like yours) will try to BUILD UP A CASE showing that you have physically abused her. Hence, she will try to get into arguments with the intent of (a) forcing you to move out, or (b) pushing you so hard emotionally that you hit her, push her down the stairs, knock her over the head with a broom, etc., etc., etc.

Don't fall for these tactics. If necessary, get a male roommate to move in together with you . . . . . . . (while in no way interfering with your wife's right to live on the premises) . . . . . or take what other actions are necessary to protect your physical and emotional integrity.

[Mr He]

Also, in light of the above, what will often happen is that the local wife (in situations like yours) will try to BUILD UP A CASE showing that you have physically abused her. Hence, she will try to get into arguments with the intent of (a) forcing you to move out, or (b) pushing you so hard emotionally that you hit her, push her down the stairs, knock her over the head with a broom, etc., etc., etc.

Don't fall for these tactics. If necessary, get a male roommate to move in together with you . . . . . . . (while in no way interfering with your wife's right to live on the premises) . . . . . or take what other actions are necessary to protect your physical and emotional integrity.

There are web sites telling the women how to do this, now adultery has become so hard to prove, IE the Taiwan courts require very direct proof for that nowadays.

During my recent divorce, my former wife sued me over a sprained ankle, also, that after she moved out, I did not want to let her back in again.

The price tag for that was half a million NT$, as I did not want to be dragged through a possibly skewed court.

[Rotalsnart]

There is some good advice above. I would especially heed Feiren's and Hartzell's.

From your description of your and your wife's situation, your wife has been highly irresponsible with your money. (I would say both of you have been, but many of the details suggest to me that your wife has been calling the financial shots all along and you've been going along with her.) It's one thing to spend on luxuries--like a Mercedes, expensive jewelry, or costly renovations to property you don't own--if you have a huge amount of savings or assets. But if doing so leads you to end up living from paycheck to paycheck, it shows recklessness and disregard for the future (or more cynically, disregard for YOUR future, as opposed to hers).

For this reason, among the others already voiced, I would urge you to take the reins from here on in and don't agree to or sign anything that is not entirely satisfactory to you.

[Shaktipalooza]

Seriously, is this a troll??

So the uncle gifted you a house, with no transfer of title? Makes sense, do you believe this because it's what your wife told you? The only reason I'd investigate the house issue would be to gain more leverage on the other items. It would be somewhat asshole-ish in my opinion to lay claim on a house gifted from an uncle after one whole year of marriage.

Wouldn't the assets be divided up regardless of the names on the titles, at least on the items purchased during the course of the marriage?

Look at the bright side. Assuming you had no rent payment from the moment you moved into that 'gifted' house, you can subtract the money you would have spent on rent from the cost of the remodel. Hell, maybe you've come out ahead on that one.

I'm not sure how filling a house with luxury items and purchasing a mercedes can be considered an 'investment' in your future while you live paycheck to paycheck, whatever floats your boat. I recall a jewelry sales person referring to my engagement ring purchase as an 'investment'. I wonder how many other people had laughed in her face on that one.

[TainanTom]

Lots of good advice. Thank you.

Let me clear up some things you guys had questions on. As far as the reason why she wants the divorce. We had a stillbirth and she no longer feels like she can be a mother or a wife. I wish I could fix things, I wish I could make things better, but there's just something in her head that has changed and a resolve that I've never seen her have. The house was actually bought from the uncle by her father. I'm not sure whose name the house actually is in, but she says it's still in the uncle's. She has another house that's in her name because her father used her first time home buyers deal a while back, I've never seen this house. Also, yes, because of the marriage we spent our savings on a new car, a new house, new furniture and everything. Thought I'd believing here for years. Paycheck by paycheck meant our savings are low but we are doing ok financially, we just depleted a bunch of savings. I do have the fact that I have to agree up my sleeve, but if things go horrible. I would want to move on too.

I don't want 50/50. I want to be able to start a new life not without having to crawl out from the bottom again. Moreso, I want to live happily. Or rather, I want the life I have now with my loving wife except she has put a time limit on it. I think it is totally possible for both of us to separate and both live well. I guess my first post was a plea for help on how to do this right. What am I suppose to ask for? My paychecks for a year? Include lengthy living together engagement? half of that? That minus day-to-day expenses. Include her income for a year? Include my savings from before. Half of the wedding gifts? Start bargaining high or start at normal figure? Try to see if this will blow over or start now? I'm going to start mass saving money now. Do I get her to sign a paper stating that when we do get divorced the money I saved from now to then is not touchable?. Should I just try to hid the money? Can I get her to sign a paper stating I never hit her? My visa/contract is up at the end of the year. I've convinced her to remain married until then just in case for the marriage and also because I need time to save and think what I want to do with the rest of my life and then get my shit together. I feel so crazy, I don't even want to be making these decisions much less against a woman I love.