need help attaining legal parentship

[Mr He]

Without looking for a fight.

Not paying child support is enough truth for me.

[sandman]

As far as maintenance payments go, any reasonable man would agree to pay a fair amount to support their children, as long as the mother acts fairly and in the best interests of the children. It's when the vindictive and punishing behaviour from the mother begins that the father starts to think: "hang on, why I am paying her money if she is just using it to make me suffer" ? And then the thoughts about taking legal action start ......

FFS! You're paying money to the MOTHER? Who you don't even like? What's that all about, in your strange little planet? You're paying the money to the kids, dude. It is NOT some kind of "hush money" or anything else. It is your DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to do what you can to help your kid. And it is CERTAINLY not up to you to decide if his mother is "acting fairly." Your duty now is to provide financial support as best you can. That's IT. And yeah, it should be a burden to you. But guaranteed, its a HELL of a lot less than the burden on the person who is actually raising the kid.
Your using child support as some kind of weapon against your former partner? Withholding money -- or even THINKING about doing so -- for YOUR KID simply to get back at your ex? Christ, man! That is fucking reprehensible! REPREHENSIBLE! Grow a pair, for fuck's sake, and quit with this disgusting passive-aggressive BULLSHIT, which hurts only ONE person -- your own child. Actually, TWO children, because from what you've posted here, the little angel you are keeping from his mother is not out of the woods. Not by a LONG chalk.

THINK OF THE CHILDREN. You, my friend, are absolutely not. From what you have posted, you are thinking purely and simply about ONE thing: Making sure your ex(es) are WELL aware that you are (in your eyes) the knight in shining armour and that THEY are BOTH wrong about you.
Yeah. Right.

I would DEARLY like to hear the sides of the story these TWO women have of this sordid tale. I bet they're very very very different to your side.

[housecat]

There trully is no excuse, other than perhaps being nearly dead yourself and thus unable to provide, for not paying child support. If you're healthy enough to be siring other children, then you're plenty healthy enough to work and provide for your son/daughter.

One man I knew was angry at his ex for using his meager child support payments as part of the rent payment. He didn't want to pay for anything at all that the mother might use. He told this woman to either, move out, but let the child live there and hire someone else to live with/care for him, or stop using the money for rent and spend HIS money only on diapers, clothes, or food that only the child would use!

Completely assinine! The child needs shelter. The child needs his/her primary care taker to live with him/her. Cutting of child support, or dictating that it can't be used for the child's most basic needs, does nothing but stress the mother of the child and this simply makes it that much harder to provide proper care for the child--DIRECTLY NEGATIGELY impacts that child's quality of life.

If a woman counts on child support payments to help make ends meet, and a man pays sporratically, or sometimes not at all, he is likely to destroy her credit, force her to skimp on groceries or school fees, take riskier chances with cheaper child care, neglect that doctor bill for the last asthma attack the child had--and this DIRECTLY NEGATIVELY impacts the child's quality of life.

But that's just the small stuff. Not paying child support is insulting—not only to the custodial parent who the child also loves—but to the child. When a child grows up, he or she will understand and resent how much harder his custodial parent had to work—how much less time that parent had for that child—because of this issue.

And they don’t have to be very old for this to start to add up, either.

It’s NOT about money. It’s NOT about having something to hold over someone else. If you use money against an ex, you cause stress, distrust, and a less perfect parenting ability in the one parent the child has left.

[TheGingerMan]

Yep, you often only get half the truth or less on these forums.

Ain't that the truth!
Well, half of it anyways......

[pugwash]

Hi there

I have a thread in this forum about retrieving my child back from taiwan after mum took the child there. I already have a USA court order giving me primary physical custody and joint legal custody. And DNA tests where done in the USA that show me as dad. And I now am questioning how legal / useful these are given some comments I've read here and what mum has told me. So:

Article 1065 A child born out of wedlock who has been acknowledge by the natural father is deemed to be legitimate; where he has been maintained by the natural father, acknowledgment is deemed to have been established.
In the relation to his mother, a child born out of wedlock is deemed to be legitimate and no acknowledgment is necessary.

Article 1066 A child born out of wedlock or his mother may repudiate the acknowledgment by his natural father.

Any web links or further information on the above would be useful. 1065 is very applicable as the child was born out of wedlock and support payments are fully paid and up to date. But its all USA documentation. is it worth the paper its written on?

Carol Chang
Tel: 2397 1307
Fax: 2391 7592
#10-1, No. 76, Sec 1,
Zhongxiao E. Road

Did anyone use this lady? Is she in Kaohsiung? Any references to an experienced lawyer who can be reached by email as well in Kaohsiung?

[pugwash]

Article 1065 A child born out of wedlock who has been acknowledge by the natural father is deemed to be legitimate; where he has been maintained by the natural father, acknowledgment is deemed to have been established.
In the relation to his mother, a child born out of wedlock is deemed to be legitimate and no acknowledgment is necessary.

Article 1066 A child born out of wedlock or his mother may repudiate the acknowledgment by his natural father.

Any web links or further information on the above would be useful. 1065 is very applicable as the child was born out of wedlock and support payments are fully paid and up to date. But its all USA documentation. is it worth the paper its written on?

Ok found the information myself here

http://db.lawbank.com.tw/Eng/FLAW/FLAWQ ... =Civil+Law

But still looking for a good family lawyer in taiwan to help me with my legal rights and exit immigration questions.

[pgdaddy1]

Pugwash: I am sorry brother, but you don't have a chance. No Taiwan judge is ever going to grant you custody if you are not even the legal father (from a Taiwanese law point of view). Don't waste your money on lawyers and your emotions on hopes that will be dashed later and turn you into a bitter, empty wreck of a man.

Your money will be much better spent paying a fair maintenance to the mother, keep her happy and more able to provide a decent upbringing for your child. Unhappy mother = unhappy child. Try to keep communications open with her and hope that she will agree to give you contact with your child, even if it is just by telephone or Skype.

Good luck.

EDIT: Just saw your post on the other thread. Well, it sounds like the mother does have some serious issues. Her domestic violence against you in the USA isn't enough to get you custody in Taiwan though. You have no control over the situation except to do your best to ensure that she treats your child well, and anything antagonistic you do or say (including threatening legal action) are going to make things worse and not better. Try to look on it in a positive way- she must love your child or she wouldn't have gone to desperate measures and abducted him/her.

Yes, it certainly does seem a possibility that she would like to lure you back to Taiwan and land you in jail. The mother of my first did her best to do the same to me. However, after realising some home truths about myself, my energy is spent making peace with her, and I do get some phone contact with our child and photos sent.

It's not going to be easy for you and I understand how you must be suffering, but you have no choice but to shift your goalposts now. What I am saying probably doesn't make sense to you now, because the last thing you want to do is give up. Time is a great healer, unfortunately time can move very slowly ....

[Northcoast Surfer]

Pugwash,

Your case reminded me of another one with similar tones back in 2006. The American father, who was unmarried to the Taiwanese mother, won custody of their child in a court of law in the US. The Taiwanese mother high-tailed it to the nearest TECO and got a passport for her daughter and absconded with the child back to Taiwan. He arrived in Taiwan with his lawyers and all his legal documentation from the US court in order to get his daughter back. Guess how it turned out for him? The same way it's going to turn out for you.

You can read the entire 37 pages of the original thread from May 2006, below.

NEWS STORY: Taiwanese/US Custody Battle