Why China Will Never Rule the World, a new book

[Ed Lakewood]

I never made it to Yushan. I never even saw it, and I didn't know there were black bears in Taiwan.

In 10.5 years I got used to a lot, but I never got used to the times and places people would choose to do things that shouldn't have been done at those times or places - if you'll excuse the long, awkward sentence. Like, I don't know how many times I had neighbours who thought 1:00 a.m. was a grand time to, oh, I don't know, get rid of those leftover firecrackers, use some kind of jack hammer like device to tear out the kitchen, see what that new Coco Lee CD sounded like at volume 11, etc. I lived in one place where the city tore up the road in front of my building something like 10 times in five years, always at midnight. I suppose they thought it better to block a lane in the middle of the night, but, of course, after a while, you wonder if anyone is thinking anything. Another neighbour I had started beating on his water tank in the middle of the night with what I presumed was a wrench. Not attempting to fix it - just squatting and beating on it. Clang, clang, clang! for maybe a half an hour.

Hello? Is anybody home?

I think it's the noise pollution that bothered me most (that and the burning of ghost money; call me culturally insensitive, but I find it hard to get used to smoke inhalation). One of the hospitals in Tianmu, I forget its name, had a pop concert on its front lawn one time. So did the MacKay Hospital in Danshui. That's completely third world. Yeah, I know rennao is very imporrtant, but not at 3:00 am on a workday. Buddha above.

[finley]

Just at this particular moment, there's some big machinery tearing up the road outside my office, for no apparent reason. Bang bang bang rumble rumble. Two weeks ago they were doing the same thing in a slightly different spot. 20 yards up the road is a building site. In my house, the neighbours above my apartment have six (count 'em, six) dogs that have a good barking session at 7:45am every day, and at intervals throughout. If I walk down the road, Family Mart is playing, at full volume, the local radio stations slightly detuned so that it sounds like everyone is talking or singing through a kazoo. Next door to them is a fruit shop with a loudhailer telling people, repeatedly, that they sell fruit, presumably for the benefit of the many blind customers who cannot read "FRUIT" on the sign. And this is in an area considered "quiet". Where I used to live in Banqiao, I remember going to a local coffee shop and sitting outside to have a read. I could feel my guts vibrating from the traffic noise - and that was just the scooters. I could feel the pavement vibrate when a truck went past.

I'm convinced Taiwanese people go craaazy and start running round in circles hyperventilating if they can't hear some sort of random, very loud noise. It is, I agree, one of the hallmarks of a third-world country (the concert outside the hospital is just priceless). Conversely, the hallmark of a first-world one is an underclass of clipboard-equipped suits whose job it is to walk around saying "shhh".

[GuyInTaiwan]

Here's another for you. On the hike, my wife slipped on a wet rock and hit her jaw and knee. After complaining about the people at the hut, we went to a hospital in the nearest town in Hualian County (my wife is fine). There was an old lady in the ER section with a drip in her arm. She was wandering around with the tube dangling and dragging on the floor. I was sure she was going to step on it and rip the IV out of her arm or trip over it. It turns out that her neighbours had dropped her off there for "being too drunk". At one point, she asked a nurse for some betel nut! Classic!

In Cambodia, I actually saw someone riding as a passenger on a scooter holding their IV drip in the air.

[Ed Lakewood]

"Conversely, the hallmark of a first-world one is an underclass of clipboard-equipped suits whose job it is to walk around saying "shhh"."

That's true. It can get pretty sedate in the West, at least where I live, which probably isn't representative. You mention shaking, in the workboot city I live in, there is street with lots of fast food joints and car dealerships (you know the one: that street you see in every North American town, usually not far from the highway). There's a place that does good salads that I sometimes go to (seriously) and it shakes, too - because of the train tracks that run alongside the road. It's quite a jitter. It made me think of ye olde Precious Island.

"Banqiao."

Banqiao always used to "freak me out" a little. People said the Shuanghes were a bit crazy, but although crowded, I didn't find them so bad. I always thought it'd be funny if people really started to complain about noise pollution in Taiwan. I could imagine trucks driving around neighbourhoods using megaphones to poject: "Candiate no. 3 firmly opposes sound pollution! Vote for Li Shichu, candidate no. 3!"

"I was sure she was going to step on it and rip the IV out of her arm or trip over it. It turns out that her neighbours had dropped her off there for "being too drunk". At one point, she asked a nurse for some betel nut! Classic!"

Did the nurse give her betel nut? God, that woman shouldn't give hospitals any ideas. IVs, casts, injections, lottery tickets, X-rays, betel nut.... Yer one stop shop.

[finley]

Did the nurse give her betel nut?

ha ... I was wondering the same thing when I read that

I could imagine trucks driving around neighbourhoods using megaphones to poject: "Candiate no. 3 firmly opposes sound pollution! Vote for Li Shichu, candidate no. 3!"

That would totally make my day.

btw saw this a couple of days ago:

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2011 ... bear-bile/

China ... Planet Earth's answer to the Vogons, who you may recall lived on a planet populated by (apart from themselves) bejewelled crabs which they would smash to get the edible bits out, and sat on the native four-legged creatures just for the amusement value of breaking their backs.

It occurred to me that when people go on about country X ruling the world, the ruled are complicit in the arrangement; ultimately, power is given, not taken. If threatened with violence, anyone who doesn't want to be ruled has a few alternatives: they can die, they can disappear (perhaps to some nonexistent country, like Liechtenstein or Taiwan), or they can pick up a gun. They don't have to acquiesce. The subtext of the China apologists is that they want to be ruled by a country which is wilfully trashing the planet and has no regard for ... well, pretty much anything or anyone besides the almighty RMB. It seems to me, when one produces a list of reasons why China might not (or should not) rule the world, such as the fact that it's full of people gullible enough to buy bear-bile medicine and "businessmen" cruel and greedy enough to extract it for them, the main function of that publication is to assert that humanity can do better.

[GuyInTaiwan]

Did the nurse give her betel nut?

ha ... I was wondering the same thing when I read that

No, she sent her packing. It's in the north. It's somewhat civilised. If it had been Taidong or Pingdong, the nurse probably would have had her own stash.

btw saw this a couple of days ago:

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2011 ... bear-bile/

China ... Planet Earth's answer to the Vogons, who you may recall lived on a planet populated by (apart from themselves) bejewelled crabs which they would smash to get the edible bits out, and sat on the native four-legged creatures just for the amusement value of breaking their backs.

It occurred to me that when people go on about country X ruling the world, the ruled are complicit in the arrangement; ultimately, power is given, not taken. If threatened with violence, anyone who doesn't want to be ruled has a few alternatives: they can die, they can disappear (perhaps to some nonexistent country, like Liechtenstein or Taiwan), or they can pick up a gun. They don't have to acquiesce. The subtext of the China apologists is that they want to be ruled by a country which is wilfully trashing the planet and has no regard for ... well, pretty much anything or anyone besides the almighty RMB. It seems to me, when one produces a list of reasons why China might not (or should not) rule the world, such as the fact that it's full of people gullible enough to buy bear-bile medicine and "businessmen" cruel and greedy enough to extract it for them, the main function of that publication is to assert that humanity can do better.

Precisely.

[Baas Babelaas]

The Hong Kongers have a term for their Mainland counterparts which I find quite amusing, extremely fitting, and just a little derogatory: locusts.

http://www.chinasmack.com/2012/stories/hong-kongers-sing-locust-world-harassing-mainland-tourists.html

The Hong Kongers seem to despise them more than most.

[finley]

Yeah, that's pretty apt. Noisy, swarm behaviour, no apparent ecological function, destroys everything in it's path.

[bismarck]

Pretty damn quiet where I live. No noise except for the wind rustling the leaves of my plants outside my window and the chirping of birds. My neighbours are also a quiet lot. All lights out and in bed by 10-10:30pm. Maybe there are just "third world" spots and you guys should consider moving or something.

[cranky laowai]

The Culture & History forum has been happy to provide a clean and well-lighted place for this discussion. But there have been enough tangents to last for a while, so it's time to take discussions of anything other than the book in question to the appropriate forums. I'm locking this thread for now. If there are further book updates, please PM me so I can see they are added here.

--Cranky Laowai, moderator