QuietMountain wrote:Would you have found it as disturbing if gay people were saying it? Or, do you always find it disturbing, no matter who?
Mostly disturbing when the straight community appropriates our words. It takes a very close straight friend to be able to use words like these without raising the hairs on the back of my neck. It also bothers me when gay people use labels that are unfair. Like I said, it's rarely productive. Having fun and kidding around with your friends is a different matter. Do you really think I'm that hardcore?
The problem comes when we use that one label as the be-all-end-all definition of who someone is.
Thank you. But usually that's how labels are used.
Yeah, yeah... I know you didn't say it that way. Just using "literary license.
I still don't see where you say you are often mis-labeled.
Come on. You are a smart guy. Just read that single post, and I'm sure you can figure it out.
If these people thought that you were only with your bf because of his skin color or because you preferred a certain ethnic group, then I can see why it irks you.
Though, are you saying that you do not have preferences when it comes to ethnicity of your potential partners?
Don't be silly. Of course I have preferences, who doesn't? That's why labels are even more difficult. People look at a trend or a preference, and immediately attach a label. Wuuuuuu liao.
You've never used them... ever? So, how do you refer to actual people? 'Cause I also said that "gay", "straight", "foreigner", etc... are also labels. Which labels, in your mind, are considered acceptable and which aren't. And, if none of them are acceptable to you... how do you communicate?
Again, don't be silly. GAM and GWM are often designations which people choose for themselves. If the owner of the label thinks it's acceptable, then so do I. These labels aren't usually open for debate, unless the person is not satisfied with being pigeonholed with the word gay. Most of the people I know and run into (esp. here in TW) don't have problems with the word "gay", and neither do I. That's just getting academic and nit-picky. That said, if somebody doesn't like the word gay to refer to him/herself then I avoid it.
In fact, you should only use labels to describe someone you know well. That way you can ensure that the labels are more accurate. You should never label someone you don't know. That's just silly.
Thank you, again. But I go back to my previous statement, the vast majority of labeling goes on when people really don't know how to identify another person. In your words... lots of silliness. From a communications perspective, labeling and prejudice act as social lubricants for first-time communicative situations. Easy to understand, but possibly detrimental. I'd rather not know what to say the first time I meet somebody rather than develop a bunch of false impressions and conceptions of the other person.
Besides, as I've tried to say, we use labels everyday in so many ways. The point is to not define someone's totality by labels. And, when evidence arises to contradict a label you may have in your mind for someone, get rid of that label and/or change it.
My point exactly.
And, if you think I've been insulting to you or your beliefs anywhere in here (or that I've labeled you incorrectly), I apologize.
Don't think too much. Bie xiang tai duo le.