Gay Labels

[Closet Queen]

Actually she looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, though the quarter of an inch haircut doesn't help. Oh, and I neglected to say she rides a Harley. (really)

[QuietMountain]

I'll start with the sibling thing. My brother is straight and homophobic. Though, he did handle my coming out to him better than I expected. It consisted of two questions: 1. How long have you known? 2. How did mom react when she found out? After that, he asked me about the rest of my travel plans for my vacation back in the States. Come to think of it, maybe he was subtly telling me he wanted me to leave town as soon as possible.

My bf's cousin (on his father's side) is gay. And, there is one cousin on his mother's side I think might be. However, my bf doesn't agree and thinks it might just be because I think he's a cutey. :P

As for "metrosexuals" being real or not... I think they are. However, they didn't start in NYC or anywhere else in the West. From what I've seen, they've been here in Taiwan (and probably Asia) for years. Just look at how many straight guys carry "purse-like" bags, use products from places like Body Shop, wear designer clothes, etc...

In my opinion, culturally, the Taiwanese (Chinese? Asians?) have a less distinct concept of the difference between what is "masculine" and what is "feminine" than the West. So, what for many years was considered "girly" for straight, western guys, was/is considered normal for straight guys here. Therefore, the emergence of the, basically, "gay-acting straight guy" or metrosexual in the West has been met with some astonishment and fanfare, since it is such a "different" concept.

Finally, Magnolia, I think the reason that "gay" and "queer" don't bother me as much, aside from the fact that I heard them less growing up, is that they have meanings other than as references to homosexuals. Gay, of course, originally meant happy, fun, etc... "We had a very gay time tonight, thanks." And, as was mentioned in the article, queer meant strange or odd.

However, in the US at least, we don't think of "fag" having any other meaning. I know in the UK it is sort of a slang for cigarette. And, the longer version, "faggot," meaning a bunch of sticks (though, do you still use it that way?). These words are rarely if ever used those ways.

Now... a question of my own for anyone who can answer it. "Homosexual" is, of course, used to refer to both men and women. "Queer," as well, is used for both sexes. "Lesbian," as we know, is used for women only. Growing up, I always thought "gay" was for men only. However, recently it seems that gay can, and is, used to refer to both men and women. Magnolia even used it in his post, referring to him and his sister being gay.

Why is it that "gay" has turned into a general word and there is no longer an exclusive single word for gay men? I know it doesn't really matter. But, I guess my question is really: If gay is now a general term, why do we usually refer to lesbians and gay men? Why not gay women and gay men? Or, why don't we come up with another (non-derogatory) word for men? We could have lesbians and nesbians? Or, some such? :? Just wondering...

[QuietMountain]

By the way... my bf's cousin's bf (did you get that?) refuses to call himself "gay." He says, "I am not gay, I am a Ho-mo-sex-ual." He even draws out the word like that. We've never been able to get a straight (pardon the use of that word :P ) answer out of him as to why. Needless to say, whatever he calls himself, he seems to like... ah... penis as much as the next gay man.

[Poagao]

If the ad-agency-fabrication 'metrosexual' is being used, as much as I hate it, as a term for straight men who indulge in stereotypically homosexual behavior, (not unline so-called 'wiggers', aka white guys who try to look and behave according to black stereotypes), then what is the term, if there is one, for homosexual men who don't engage in stereotypically homosexual behavior, i.e. the vast majority of homosexuals?

As for terminology, I personally have always preferred 'mo'. As either an adjective or noun, it works.

[QuietMountain]

If the ad-agency-fabrication 'metrosexual' is being used, as much as I hate it, as a term for straight men who indulge in stereotypically homosexual behavior, (not unline so-called 'wiggers', aka white guys who try to look and behave according to black stereotypes), then what is the term, if there is one, for homosexual men who don't engage in stereotypically homosexual behavior, i.e. the vast majority of homosexuals?

As for terminology, I personally have always preferred 'mo'. As either an adjective or noun, it works.

Does anyone know why they use "metrosexual," other than the obvious similarity to "heterosexual?" I heard it was because the trend supposedly started (or was first noticed) in the greater NYC metropolitan area. Though, Poagao, I'm sure you are right.

I never received my "Gay Man's Handbook and Dictionary" when I "joined up." I've had to learn a lot of terms, and such, through experience. So, I may have missed something. However, my friends and I always referred to straight men who engaged in stereotypical gay behavior as "gay-acting straight men." Conversely, gay men who acted less stereotypical and more "straight" were referred to as straight-acting gay men. In fact, in many online profiles, chatrooms, etc... many guys will make a point of stating how "straight-acting" they are. It's really annoying.

Maybe Mags and CQ have different terms I don't know about. We could, I guess, always coin something. Maybe we'll start a trend. How about GASMs and SAGMs (pronounced Sag-ums)?

[Flicka]

In fact, in many online profiles, chatrooms, etc... many guys will make a point of stating how "straight-acting" they are. It's really annoying.

Yes, and then you meet them and they are just as queeny and closeted as can be.

[Poagao]

Maybe Mags and CQ have different terms I don't know about. We could, I guess, always coin something. Maybe we'll start a trend. How about GASMs and SAGMs (pronounced Sag-ums)?

I don't see the need, most of the time, to connect effeminate behavior with sexuality. Yeah, sure, a lot of mo's are effeminate, but then so are a lot of 'teros. Same goes for so-called 'butch' behavior. People are people; you get all types. I never tell anyone that I'm 'straight-acting'; anyone who saw me in that play I did once can tell you I'm a terrible actor.

[QuietMountain]

I don't see the need, most of the time, to connect effeminate behavior with sexuality.

Well, I usually don't see the need to connect any type of behavior with sexuality. The behaviors that most people associate with either gay or straight men (and women) are just stereotypes anyway. Sure, there are those who act that way. However, there are just as many who don't.

You asked for a term, though, so I was just trying to fill your request.

Yeah, sure, a lot of mo's are effeminate, but then so are a lot of 'teros. Same goes for so-called 'butch' behavior. People are people; you get all types.

My point exactly.

By the way, my favorite term for straight people, though I only use it in jest, is "breeder." A lesbian friend of mine used to refer to straights that way. Always made me chuckle.

[Poagao]

Well, I usually don't see the need to connect any type of behavior with sexuality. The behaviors that most people associate with either gay or straight men (and women) are just stereotypes anyway. Sure, there are those who act that way. However, there are just as many who don't. You asked for a term, though, so I was just trying to fill your request.

Yeah, I know, I wasn't trying to be argumentative. Sorry if it seemed that way. It was more of a rhetorical question; I should have written it in a clearer fashion. My whole point on the 'metrosexual' thing is: why pander to stereotypes on either side?

[QuietMountain]

Yeah, I know, I wasn't trying to be argumentative. Sorry if it seemed that way. It was more of a rhetorical question; I should have written it in a clearer fashion. My whole point on the 'metrosexual' thing is: why pander to stereotypes on either side?

I didn't think you were trying to argumentative. But, I completely missed the rhetorical thing. :? As for the pandering... I can only speak for the US. We love to pander... it's one of the things we do best.

I, on the other hand, love pandas... well, actually, most types of bears. And, I ain't talking about the kind you find in the woods. If ya know what I mean, Ms. Thang. :P