Hooray for Australia!

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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby cyborg_ninja » 20 Jan 2012, 20:46

Charlie Phillips wrote:
cyborg_ninja wrote:getting drunk on australia day :cool: :cool: :cool:

only realy australian way to celebrate the day of federation.


:eh: Australia day is not a celebration of Federation.

January 26 is the celebration of the arrival of the first fleet. Everyone got rolling drunk and had a great time till they woke up with a spitting headache the next morning, looked around and said 'Where the fuck are we?'


my bad thats jan 1. as a real aussie, I don't know much about the birth of our nation.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby Charlie Phillips » 20 Jan 2012, 21:22

cyborg_ninja wrote:
Charlie Phillips wrote:
cyborg_ninja wrote:getting drunk on australia day :cool: :cool: :cool:

only realy australian way to celebrate the day of federation.


:eh: Australia day is not a celebration of Federation.

January 26 is the celebration of the arrival of the first fleet. Everyone got rolling drunk and had a great time till they woke up with a spitting headache the next morning, looked around and said 'Where the fuck are we?'


my bad thats jan 1. as a real aussie, I don't know much about the birth of our nation.


What's a 'real aussie' ? I have a piece of paper is all.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby teggs » 20 Jan 2012, 21:38

Well they gave us the AFL.. my favorite sport to watch. :notworthy:
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby antarcticbeech » 20 Jan 2012, 22:46

I think most Australians are quite confident with their national identity.

Lucky is the word I would use to describe it. I feel very lucky to be Australian.

Anyway, it's Friday. I'm embracing my Aussie, German and Pommy Cunt (I'm 50% PC) heritage and having a beer. :beer:
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby cyborg_ninja » 21 Jan 2012, 00:34

Charlie Phillips wrote:
cyborg_ninja wrote:
Charlie Phillips wrote:
cyborg_ninja wrote:getting drunk on australia day :cool: :cool: :cool:

only realy australian way to celebrate the day of federation.


:eh: Australia day is not a celebration of Federation.

January 26 is the celebration of the arrival of the first fleet. Everyone got rolling drunk and had a great time till they woke up with a spitting headache the next morning, looked around and said 'Where the fuck are we?'


my bad thats jan 1. as a real aussie, I don't know much about the birth of our nation.


What's a 'real aussie' ? I have a piece of paper is all.




real australian aye.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby Gman » 22 Jan 2012, 14:48

Never been to the place but I like how they deal with idiots;

It's a set of questions and answers that actually appeared on an Australian tourism website. It's nice to see a government agency that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Note that the nationality of the person asking the question is indicated in parentheses.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big, triangle-shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not...
Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King's Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south, and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...
Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in King's Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

This post was recommended by saddletramp (23 Jan 2012, 21:21)
Rating: 4%
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby urodacus » 22 Jan 2012, 15:17

jimipresley wrote:
urodacus wrote:Plus, we gave the world Vegemite.

Bollocks. The Kiwis stole the Marmite recipe from the poms, you stole it from them, and relabeled it. Bloody crims.


Vegemite is heaps better than Marmite. Marmite sucks, Vegemite rocks.

the Kiwis and the Poms can keep their pissy little jars of Marmite.




What you did give us, however, was Nick Cave and Rolf Harris, and the greatest leg-spinner in the history of cricket. Oh, and let's not forget Donald Bradman.


true.


Rolf Harris was a free giveaway, mate. We couldn't stand the smarmy little prick.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby Fox » 22 Jan 2012, 16:48

Sam Kekovich is something good about Australia.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby Steviebike » 22 Jan 2012, 16:52

Three cheers for Crocodile Dundee!
Just checking but you're a South African Engrish Teachur right? No. I'm a Russian nuclear physicist.
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Re: Hooray for Australia!

Postby urodacus » 22 Jan 2012, 17:19

... and today Barrie Humphries wins Australian of the Year in the Yook.

Awesome!
The prizes are a bottle of f*!@#$% SCOTCH and a box of cheap f!@#$#$ CIGARS!

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50% of the world's wild animals have disappeared in the last 50 years. Did you eat them, or eat their house?
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