Funny Pointless Stuff

Welcome to the Open Forum - the discussion forum for topics that don't quite fit anywhere else. Fair warning: Posts may be moved at the moderators' discretion to a more appropriate forum. Posts that are especially silly will probably end up in either the Fun and Games Forum or the Temporary Forum.

Moderators: Tempo Gain, TheGingerMan, Rockefeller

Forum rules
Posts may be moved at the moderators' discretion to a more appropriate forum. Posts that are especially silly will probably end up in either the Fun and Games Forum or the Temporary Forum.

Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 23 Feb 2012, 21:31

Something worthwhile from the inbox:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.



Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.



By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".



During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Impaler » 24 Feb 2012, 01:51

It's amazing what getting out of the care of the Scottish National Health Service can do for your life expectancy.


"Mostly, nature looks after itself, if you let it. If you arrange things correctly, nature will do all the hard work for you, but it takes a lot of careful thought, planning, attention to detail, and a little experimentation. In other words, we're all doomed." -- finley
Forumosan avatar
Impaler
Chinese Class Dropout (Zhōngwén kè zhōngchuòshēng)
Chinese Class Dropout (Zhōngwén kè zhōngchuòshēng)
 
Posts: 767
Joined: 08 Jul 2011, 10:17
2 Recommends(s)
37 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 24 Feb 2012, 06:05

Impaler wrote:http://www.i18nguy.com/twain.html


That it's possibly be Mark Twain doesn't surprise me. He was a great.
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 22 Apr 2012, 08:45

Funny Twisted Sister cover and video.

"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 29 Apr 2012, 09:38

Image
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 04 May 2012, 21:27

The price of lamb has just gone up in New Zealand. It's now one dollar fifty an hour.
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 03 Sep 2012, 05:55

Burning Man festival Nevada:
Image
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Zla'od » 03 Sep 2012, 07:16

Jack Schaap on how to polish a shaft:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr0UpQXYkGs

(Technically not "pointless," but oh well...)
Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) forbade withdrawing the penis from a free woman unless she gives permission. Ibn Majah transmitted it. (Tirmidhi Hadith, Number 950)
Zla'od
Fried Chicken-Parts Vendor (yán sū jī xiǎofàn)
Fried Chicken-Parts Vendor (yán sū jī xiǎofàn)
 
Posts: 959
Joined: 05 Aug 2009, 08:36
62 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Fox » 03 Sep 2012, 14:53

Zla'od wrote:Jack Schaap on how to polish a shaft:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr0UpQXYkGs

(Technically not "pointless," but oh well...)


That reminds me of the movie Leap of Faith with Steve Martin except all the more whackier 'cause it's real.
"When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood it is hard to shake hands with her." Wilde

"I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins. It's all a mystery." Flaming Lips

"a man's position here is not ruled so much by what he can earn as by what he can owe and still remain at large." Letters of a Shanghai Griffin

"It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." George Carlin

The American oligarchy spares no pains in promoting the belief that it does not exist, but the success of its disappearing act depends on equally strenuous efforts on the part of an American public anxious to believe in egalitarian fictions and unwilling to see what is hidden in plain sight.
redbubble
http://www.planetediting.com
Forumosan avatar
Fox
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
Retired President (tuì xiū de zǒng tǒng)
 
Posts: 5548
ORIGINAL POSTER
Joined: 11 Jun 2002, 16:01
Location: Taipei
55 Recommends(s)
76 Recognized(s)

6000

Re: Funny Pointless Stuff

Postby Evlesoa » 03 Sep 2012, 17:57

Evlesoa
English Teacher with Headband (bǎng tóujīn de Yīngwén lǎoshī)
English Teacher with Headband (bǎng tóujīn de Yīngwén lǎoshī)
 
Posts: 180
Joined: 13 Apr 2012, 08:52
Location: Taipei, Taiwan
8 Recommends(s)
5 Recognized(s)

6000





 
 
 x

Return to Open Forum



Who is online

Forumosans browsing this forum: No Forumosans and 1 visitor

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday -- RALPH WALDO EMERSON