Pet Peeves

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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby lemur » 24 Dec 2008, 11:25

Chris wrote:Her: "Does this make me look fat?"

Me: sigh...


Let me first quote an obligatory cliché: "It's a trap!" :runaway:

Now as to the proper course of action, maybe first you sigh but then you better find a way to avoid answering that question because there is no good answer to it.

You: Yes, baby, it makes you look fat.

Her: You're saying I am fat! Bastard! :fume:

You: No, baby, it does not make you look fat.

Her: Liar! :fume:

You: I don't have an opinion.

Her: You no longer look at me like you used to. You don't find me desirable anymore. :cry:

Pray for an opportune diversion. :pray: Absent a diversion, be prepared to simulate a stroke because there's no way you can answer correctly.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Chris » 24 Dec 2008, 16:39

Student: Please translate this file.

Me: OK. Do you have any other files for me to translate?

Student: No.

Me: OK, let's get started. (work, work, work... type type type... check electronic dictionary... Google for English names of companies... ask student what a phrase means... oh, it's a typo... work work work... almost done! Half an hour till next student comes...maybe I'll have time for some lunch.)

Me: OK, done! Here's your copy of the file. Please go sign over there.

Student: Oh, I also have this other file for you to translate.

Me: :fume:
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Chris » 05 Jan 2009, 15:29

Me: So, what was your major?
Student: My .... major?
Me: Yes, what did you major in? What subject did you study?
Student: Uhhh.... math, chemistry, organic chemistry, biology, biochemistry...
Me: Um, you're just listing the courses you took. What was your major subject?
Student: I don't know what you mean...
Me: (shouting to consultant across the room) Hey, Julie, what did he major in?
Julie: (shouting back from across the room) Biology.
Me: Thanks! You majored in biology.
Student: Oh.

:fume:

How can one graduate from a four-year university and not know what one majored in?

(And just try asking a student if their degree was a Bachelor of Arts or a Bachelor of Science... "Oh, Bachelor of Biology I think", "Oh, I studied science, so it must be a Bachelor of Science"... aaaaaarggghhh!)
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby rocky raccoon » 06 Jan 2009, 13:12

Chris wrote:(And just try asking a student if their degree was a Bachelor of Arts or a Bachelor of Science... "Oh, Bachelor of Biology I think"...


Bachelor of Biology? That's funny. If that's the case then I wish I could have gotten a Master's in Dodgeball.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Chris » 06 Jan 2009, 14:37

And today (related to one of the above posts):

Me: Hello.
Student: Hi. (Sits silently.)
Me: Your files, please. Then we can get started.
Student: Oh. (Searches for USB stick, finds it, gives it to me)
Me: All righty then. Which files need to be translated?
Student: Let's start with this one.
Me: Any others? I see you're scheduled for three pages. This one is two pages. Which file is the third page?
Student: (silent)
Me: :eek: So, you've just got this one file to translate? Two pages only today?
Student: (silent)
Me: :roll: OK, then. Two pages it is. Unless you have another file that needs to be translated.
Student: (silent)

Then the consultant who handles the student's case happens to walk in from lunch.

Me: Hey Emily! He's scheduled for 3 pages. This file is two pages. What's the third?
Emily: His resume.
Me: Sigh... :noway: (Copies resume from student's USB drive and begins work.)

:fume: :raspberry:
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Dragonbones » 06 Jan 2009, 14:43

You should surreptitiously add at the bottom of his resume:

Cannot communicate effectively.
Cannot count to three.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby k.k. » 06 Jan 2009, 16:38

One of my ongoing pet peeves is when Taiwanese say "dwei" or "dwei, dwei, dwei" in response to something they have just said or told you. WTF? Are you trying to convince yourself that what you said is right or accurate? :loco:

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby jimipresley » 06 Jan 2009, 16:42

Mer wrote:One of my ongoing pet peeves is when Taiwanese say "dwei" or "dwei, dwei, dwei" in response to something they have just said or told you. WTF? Are you trying to convince yourself that what you said is right or accurate? :loco:

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this.

Gotta love "hao" or "hao, hao, hao" after every statement or answer.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Dr. McCoy » 06 Jan 2009, 17:08

Mer wrote:One of my ongoing pet peeves is when Taiwanese say "dwei" or "dwei, dwei, dwei" in response to something they have just said or told you. WTF? Are you trying to convince yourself that what you said is right or accurate? :loco:

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this.

Yeah. It drives me crazy. It does it does it does.
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Re: Pet Peeves

Postby Chris » 06 Jan 2009, 17:26

Mer wrote:One of my ongoing pet peeves is when Taiwanese say "dwei" or "dwei, dwei, dwei" in response to something they have just said or told you. WTF? Are you trying to convince yourself that what you said is right or accurate? :loco:

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this.

Well, it's kind of like in English: when one person is talking, the listener says "mm hmm", "uh huh", etc. to express that they're actively listening. So it doesn't mean "yes" or "right"; it means "I'm still listening... please continue."

What drives me nuts is "hao, hao, hao,... ho! ho! ho!... hao, hao, hao,... ho! ho! ho!" (switching from Mandarin to Taiwanese and back.)
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