French translation help needed

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French translation help needed

Postby AAF » 11 May 2011, 21:07

Could somebody please help me with this letter I have to write to a French airport store?
Is it understandable and correct?

Cher Monsieur / Madame

surchargée

J'ai joint une copie d'un reçu d'articles que j'ai acheté dans votre magasin à l'aéroport.
J'ai été facturé deux fois pour le même article. Parce que j'étais pressé, je n'ai pas vérifié mon reçu avant de quitter. Comment puis-je me faire rembourser l'élément le second?

Sincèrement
靜夜思》 床前明月光,疑似桌上飯。 舉頭望明月,低頭吃便當。
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby yuli » 11 May 2011, 21:19

AAF wrote:Could somebody please help me with this letter I have to write to a French airport store?
Is it understandable and correct?

Unfortunately neither :noway: - but what Google has done can (almost) be undone:
"Overcharged
I have attached a copy of a receipt for items that I bought in your store at the airport.
I was billed twice for the same item. Because I was in a hurry, I did not check my receipt before leaving [the store]. How can I get a refund [for the second] the item the second?"

Let's start from that. :) I suspect there are people on Forumosa who can write better French than me, but if nobody shows up I'll help you...
 
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby Captain Stag » 11 May 2011, 21:20

AAF wrote: Comment puis-je me faire rembourser l'élément le second?


better to write: S'il vous plait, pourriez-vous m'aviser comment procéder pour un remboursement complet de la charge supplémentaire?

The rest is understandable and doesn't really need editing unless you want to get poetic....
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby AAF » 11 May 2011, 21:33

Thanks for your help guys. But even if there are small mistakes, I would appreciate your advice. I'm a little like Mr. Monk when it comes to these things.
靜夜思》 床前明月光,疑似桌上飯。 舉頭望明月,低頭吃便當。
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby bababa » 11 May 2011, 21:35

AAF wrote:J'ai été facturé deux fois pour le même article. Parce que j'étais pressé, je n'ai pas vérifié mon reçu avant de quitter.

Add "le magasin" after "quitter".
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby yuli » 11 May 2011, 21:39

Captain Stag wrote:The rest is understandable and doesn't really need editing unless you want to get poetic....

Hm... replacing "Parce que" with "Puisque" makes it easier to understand without any added poetic value. :wink:
And as has been recommend already, "quitter le magasin" (see the text in brackets in the backtranslated English)...
 
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby fafagnon » 11 May 2011, 22:15

I would strongly suggest :

"Surfacturation" instead of "surchargée" (other meaning, more like overweight or overloaded)

Maybe Bien cordialement instead of sincèrement

or even (since they still very fond of formal stuff and there is some money at stake...) :

En vous remerciant par avance de bien vouloir traiter ma requête diligemment, veuillez Madame, Monsieur, agréer l'expression de mes sentiments distingués.

Fait à (city/country), le (DD/MM/YY this order !!!) your signature

Take care
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby Captain Stag » 12 May 2011, 00:01

yuli wrote:
Captain Stag wrote:The rest is understandable and doesn't really need editing unless you want to get poetic....

Hm... replacing "Parce que" with "Puisque" makes it easier to understand without any added poetic value. :wink:
And as has been recommend already, "quitter le magasin" (see the text in brackets in the backtranslated English)...


whatever....getting the point across is what counts here. It's not like he's writing the President de la Republique.....modern French is unnecessarily complex versus old-school French-Canadian French, which doesn't get all technically redundant...
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby Franck de Taiwan » 13 May 2011, 17:59

AAF wrote:Could somebody please help me with this letter I have to write to a French airport store?
Is it understandable and correct?

Cher Monsieur / Madame

surchargée

J'ai joint une copie d'un reçu d'articles que j'ai achetés dans votre magasin à l'aéroport.
J'ai été facturé deux fois pour le même article. Parce que j'étais pressé, je n'ai pas vérifié mon reçu avant de quitter. Comment puis-je me faire rembourser l'élément le second?

Sincèrement


Monsieur,

Veuillez trouver ci-joint la copie du ticket de caisse relatif aux articles que j'ai achetés dans votre magasin à l'aéroport.
Il s'avère que j'ai été facturé(e) deux fois pour le même article. Parce que j'étais pressé(e) je n'ai pas vérifié le ticket de caisse avant de quitter votre établissement. Comment puis-je me faire rembourser?

salutations respectueuses,




I really doubt you'll get a refund from the store. Plus it's very possible this is a trick to get more money from travellers. I won't even try to get reimburse, after all checking a receipt is a matter of a few seconds, being in a hurry is not a valid excuse.
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Re: French translation help needed

Postby AAF » 14 May 2011, 08:10

Thanks a million to all of you for your help. I do appreciate it.
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