When they rally the troops against you!

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When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Whole Lotta Lotta » 13 Apr 2012, 00:09

Help :oops: ! I have one class of children were one of the boys absolutely hates me. He says he has no problem with the Chinese teacher. He says he wishes the Chinese teacher were the ONLY teacher. He says that he doesn't understand me when I speak and thinks my activities are boring. He also thinks that he doesn't have to do the homework in my class, yet does it for the Chinese teacher. He has complained to his mother, who is on my side fortunately. But she has a limit to how much of his complaining he will take. He has tried to get the other children in the class to not like me. Fortunately, this has not worked on the girls who don't like to listen to the boys anyway. My boss even asked one of the girls what she thought of my class and she said it was fun.
Does anybody have any suggestions on what I can do before this boy manages to turn the tide of boys in the class against me :oops: ?
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Ovechkin » 13 Apr 2012, 00:24

I think my best advice is to make sure your boss is on your side. if you can prove to your boss that you're a great teacher and this kid is just psycho, you dont have to worry about job security. moreover...keeping a GOOD teaching in the long term will bring MORE profit to the school than getting rid of one student who is absolutely disruptive. the other parents pay good money for their kids to learn. the child doesnt have to like you, but he needs to be respectful. if he's not, u need to request that your boss remove him.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Okami » 13 Apr 2012, 00:36

Wait till he gets disrespectful, take him to a set of stairs, make him go up and down them for 10 minutes and do not talk to him except to make him go up and down correctly. Once he starts sweating and he smoothens out his pace, then stop him and speak to him in Chinese and explain your side of things. If he grunts, then send him back up and down the flight of stairs 3-5 times. You want proper responses from him instead of grunts. Don't yell nor appear angry because you want him to see you as an authority figure he has to respond appropriately to that is calm and in control. After they get it, then they do another 10 minutes to drive the message home and you can talk to them during this time. I generally express regret that I'm not teaching my class but sitting there explaining to him how to act in class. Another particular favorite one is asking if he prefers being yelled at, or walking up and down the stairs, when he says being yelled at ask him if it changes anything and wait for a proper response. You should definitely work the respect angle.

Notes:
1. If he dawdles threaten to throw him up and down those stairs and DO SO!
2. Patience
3. For the first 10 minutes don't talk to him except to make sure he is doing it right.
4. I have them touch a wall at the top of the stairs and a wall where I'm sitting.
5. If he is really fast, don't worry he'll tire himself out and this is a great thing.
6. Make sure you are watching him at all times.
7. Explain to him that telling his mother is perfectly ok as long as he explains what got him into that situation.

I generally have to do this once a month, but I never have to do the same kid twice. By being calm and assertive plus working out there energy, you bring them to a peaceful state of mind where they can actually talk to you as a person. I usually get an a complete attitude adjustment out of the student. It's particularly effective with students who get yelled at a lot by their Taiwanese teachers.

YMMV, I know almost all 200 kids at my anqinban and have a good relationship with most of them. I only currently have one student who just hates me, but she's in my best Taiwanese teacher's class.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Nameless » 13 Apr 2012, 00:46

How old is the boy? Do you think he might have a crush on you? I remember acting a fool when i liked the teacher. It was hard to play it cool when I was nine
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Whole Lotta Lotta » 13 Apr 2012, 02:37

Okami wrote:Wait till he gets disrespectful, take him to a set of stairs, make him go up and down them for 10 minutes and do not talk to him except to make him go up and down correctly. Once he starts sweating and he smoothens out his pace, then stop him and speak to him in Chinese and explain your side of things. If he grunts, then send him back up and down the flight of stairs 3-5 times. You want proper responses from him instead of grunts. Don't yell nor appear angry because you want him to see you as an authority figure he has to respond appropriately to that is calm and in control. After they get it, then they do another 10 minutes to drive the message home and you can talk to them during this time. I generally express regret that I'm not teaching my class but sitting there explaining to him how to act in class. Another particular favorite one is asking if he prefers being yelled at, or walking up and down the stairs, when he says being yelled at ask him if it changes anything and wait for a proper response. You should definitely work the respect angle.

Notes:
1. If he dawdles threaten to throw him up and down those stairs and DO SO!
2. Patience
3. For the first 10 minutes don't talk to him except to make sure he is doing it right.
4. I have them touch a wall at the top of the stairs and a wall where I'm sitting.
5. If he is really fast, don't worry he'll tire himself out and this is a great thing.
6. Make sure you are watching him at all times.
7. Explain to him that telling his mother is perfectly ok as long as he explains what got him into that situation.

I generally have to do this once a month, but I never have to do the same kid twice. By being calm and assertive plus working out there energy, you bring them to a peaceful state of mind where they can actually talk to you as a person. I usually get an a complete attitude adjustment out of the student. It's particularly effective with students who get yelled at a lot by their Taiwanese teachers.

YMMV, I know almost all 200 kids at my anqinban and have a good relationship with most of them. I only currently have one student who just hates me, but she's in my best Taiwanese teacher's class.

Actually his behavior in class is OK. It what I am getting back from him outside of class that is the problem. He is only ten, but it sounds kind of junior high or high schoolish :roll: . If I were to talk to him, he might give me a look like he doesn't care. I don't want to turn him over too much to the boss, because that is giving away your authority in the classroom. I think this child needs to have his mother sit him down and talk to him about his attitude.
I would ideally like a situation where if he has a complaint, his mother tells him to tell me exactly what he told her.
I wonder what the odds of that happening are?
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby Okami » 13 Apr 2012, 11:46

Have the conversation outside of class and when he disrespects you then it's stair time.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby PapaAzucar » 23 Apr 2012, 09:00

Whole Lotta Lotta wrote:If I were to talk to him, he might give me a look like he doesn't care. I don't want to turn him over too much to the boss, because that is giving away your authority in the classroom.

It sounds like the kid is trying to get your attention or needs more attention from you. He is waiting for you to "win" him over, or "earn" his respect. It is a very basic social instinct with people who we don't fully trust, but have to maintain a symbiotic relationship. In general, humans avoid those that we don't trust. But if humans are forced to put up with someone, then we "test" that person like how this 10-year old is testing you, in hopes of 1) ending the relationship (either you leave or he transfers), or 2) adjusting to an understanding. Think about it from these perspectives and respond based on your personality.

In all cases, you will need to have more personal time, or more one-on-one talk with him. Addressing him in front of the class is the equivalent of "calling him out", in which case, he will get defensive and try to "call you out" like getting the other kids to not like you. Do reflect back on the genesis of why he would not like you. Sometimes it may be little things we took for granted or overlooked as unimportant, but it may have been important to him.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby GuyInTaiwan » 23 Apr 2012, 09:11

Papa: What you wrote is everything that is wrong with the modern education system. It has everything back to front. There's a simple solution to a child not being called out in front of his peers: don't screw with the teacher. The only extra attention a kid needs is a good foot up the backside. If that upsets that kid's feelings, then too bloody bad for him. Of course, the tricky part is modern parents combined with the buxiban system here, which often condones, if not encourages, these little brats.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby PapaAzucar » 23 Apr 2012, 09:16

GuyInTaiwan wrote:The only extra attention a kid needs is a good foot up the backside.

Yes, and in the modern education system, that will get the teacher fired (at least in the US).
What I advised may have come from a 60's hippie principal, but it is the proper politically correct response that will save the teacher's job.
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Re: When they rally the troops against you!

Postby GuyInTaiwan » 23 Apr 2012, 09:22

I may have written that in a metaphorical sense, you know.
And you coming in to scold us all like some kind of sour-puss kindie assistant who favors olive cardigans and lemon drinks without sugar. -- Muzha Man

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