Victims of "Microaggressions"

[headhonchoII]

In the end we have to do what makes us happy, and the good thing about Taiwan is we have the freedom to reinvent ourselves as we wish. Don't want to integrate and live in your bubble, and play your xbox360, I respect that. Want to chew betelnut and go shrimp fishing and drinking Taiwan pijiu, I respect that too.

Just got to take a deep breath and go all zen on their ass or explode in furious justice and then go get yourself a Taiwan beer.

Do what you can to keep sane and happy, no judgments , no advice.

Only one caveat, people drinking brown bottles of Taiwan beer, you know the one that tastes like they added chemical ethanol?

Yes you dude. Don't ask me how much I like Taiwan beer and offer me a glass from your brown bottle. That is serious aggression right there. Shengpi or Asahi all the way, you should know better!

[superking]

let's measure the aggression level of your post - I give it something between micro and mezzo aggression.

but seriously - I think your whole post was something of a awkward landing - especially comparing the reaction to us Western foreigners with the one to an autoimmune desease on the skin was kind of bumpy.

about "go home for a month" and "reading again" - I'd like to help you with this. You wrote:

YOU guys can get on a plane and go home and it will all be over for you. But you insist on staying.

Ok, you carry on seeing what you want to see.

[BigJohn]

Wow! 7 pages so soon! This thread definitely hit a nerve.

The word micro-aggression - I'm not sure if it is really accurate. In many cases I am sure there is absolutely no aggression intended. In some cases it feels like, "you're on MY turf boy."

Nevertheless, it is strange and somewhat uncomfortable to be stared at or chatted up. But I think the problem with it is a lack of empathy. That is, the starer or chatter upper (upchatter?) is apparently not thinking about how the staree or chattee is feeling.

A man is at a river in a park with his kids, playing in the (clean) water. A foreigner (me) walks by. The man stares, thinking: "Huh! A foreigner! Wooowwee!" But he apparently is not thinking, "I'm staring at someone, maybe they feel it is strange." I stare back, unsmiling. He waves, grinning. He might be thinking, "I want to interact with this guy because he is a foreigner." But he is not thinking why I would want to interact with him. Because I am a foreigner? Because he is Taiwanese?

So I ignore the wave and smile and go about my business. The guy looks away and stops staring. In the end, he probably thinks I'm a dickhead for being so unfriendly. Too bad, but I am not going to interact with him on the basis that "I am a surprising, entertaining foreigner".

Was this guy micro-aggressive? I'd say so, a bit. He was in my face.

[Petrichor]

Ah well, some foreigners manage to be happy here, enjoy their lives, Taiwan, the Taiwanese, raising their kids, the whole shebang, despite the fact that they're living in the same place and having the same experiences as those who complain. I think that says something and I know who I'd rather be.

[Formosa Fitness]

Ah well, some foreigners manage to be happy here, enjoy their lives, Taiwan, the Taiwanese, raising their kids, the whole shebang, despite the fact that they're living in the same place and having the same experiences as those who complain. I think that says something and I know who I'd rather be.

I'm glad you got a chance to feel superior.

For me, it isn't about being a victim or whining because people are being mean to my kids. It's about finding a coping strategy to deal with the problem and teaching my kids to stand up to it.

[California]

I was at the Mcdonalds the other day with an ABC girl (one who clearly looked foreign) out in the boonies of Taipei city (Wanfang) and a small boy was who was next to us said "meiguoren." The girl I was there with was upset and asked me why he was saying that.

There are basically two courses of action here.

1) Start pointing at him and going "taiwanren, taiwanren, taiwanren" and be a jerk

2) laugh and go "nihao" with a wave

I chose the latter, because not only is it not the complete asshole thing to do but clearly someone who says out loud "meiguoren" right next to a foreigner doesnt see many very often. What is the point being a jerk to this kid, he is just going to remember it as "how foreigners act".

I don't play cultural representative much but I was drunk. And I guess that is the point. If you cannot handle yourself politely when in a situation that quite frankly happens every day then you need to be drunk all the time. Whiskey sells for under 200NT at 7-11 so you have no excuse, buy a flask today and start enjoying a happy life.

[tommy525]

TAiwan is a different Planet in so many ways. Takes one 3 years to come to grips with the place. But then if you can take it for 3 years you may end up staying 30 before finally you have built up quite the energy (cuz you just cant take it no more , no more) to blast yourself back OUT of Taiwans gravitational pull.

[BigJohn]

Most of the long timers I know about like to bitch sometimes. They would largely agree about these micro aggressions, sometimes called "subtle racism".

[Petrichor]

Ah well, some foreigners manage to be happy here, enjoy their lives, Taiwan, the Taiwanese, raising their kids, the whole shebang, despite the fact that they're living in the same place and having the same experiences as those who complain. I think that says something and I know who I'd rather be.

I'm glad you got a chance to feel superior.

For me, it isn't about being a victim or whining because people are being mean to my kids. It's about finding a coping strategy to deal with the problem and teaching my kids to stand up to it.

This isn't about being superior or not. What I said is true, and it isn't just people on these boards, it's other parents I've met in my time here. As I said, I do know exactly what you mean and not only that I've had it a lot worse. If you really want to find coping strategies to deal with the problem then look to those people who have found them, that's all I'm saying.

[BigJohn]

Ah well, some foreigners manage to be happy here, enjoy their lives, Taiwan, the Taiwanese, raising their kids, the whole shebang, despite the fact that they're living in the same place and having the same experiences as those who complain. I think that says something and I know who I'd rather be.

I'm glad you got a chance to feel superior.

For me, it isn't about being a victim or whining because people are being mean to my kids. It's about finding a coping strategy to deal with the problem and teaching my kids to stand up to it.

This isn't about being superior or not. What I said is true, and it isn't just people on these boards, it's other parents I've met in my time here. As I said, I do know exactly what you mean and not only that I've had it a lot worse. If you really want to find coping strategies to deal with the problem then look to those people who have found them, that's all I'm saying.

Complaining to your peers IS a coping strategy!