Well, I'm still a newbie to you guys as I have not yet qualified for an APRC yet...still need two more years and I live in an absolute cultural bubble so I don't fit so much as you all do, but here's my contribution...
1. You can order the entire McDonald's menu in Chinese. (well, the things that I want, and I've finally mastered how to say ketchup in Chinese...or at least slur it so they get the idea)
2. You decide it makes more sense to drive a motorcycle instead of a car.(I much prefer driving a scooter to a car and only wish I could ship one home with me)
5. More than one garment has been ruined by food grease.
6. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.
7. You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.
10. 20 degrees feels cold. (Always has been. Imagine my misery living in Ohio for 14 years of my life...)
11. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.
13. You don't notice the smell.
16. You stop conjugating verbs.
17. You speak fluent Chinglish.
19. The main reason you stop at a 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.
20. You expect a Chinese New Year's bonus.
21. Firecrackers and garbage trucks don't wake you up.
22. You spend two hours and a fortune to eat Western food.
24. Your family stops asking you when you'll be coming back.
25. You consider taxi drivers "good drivers". (Excellent drivers... the faster, the better the tip)
29. "A", "an" and "the" aren't necessary parts of speech.
30. You know when the next "big bai-bai" is.
34. You know which place has the best noodles & duck meat at 3:00 a.m.
35. You (any gender) wear polyester and paisley. (gulp)
36. People who knew you when you first arrived don't recognize you.
37. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
39. You offer directions to locals.
40. You leave the plastic on new furniture and appliances.
41. Forks and knives feel awkward.
42. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
45. Foreigners smell funny.
47. Mando- pop remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals. (Most of Christina Aguilera's songs do anyways...)
48. You own a Mando-pop CD. (Guilty as charged... actually, I own several)
50. You know the lyrics to Mando-pop songs and/or have sung them in KTV.
51. You point out foreigners and stare at them.
52. You shop for clothes at night markets and the clothes fits. (well, socks at least)
53. You own at least one mosquito tennis raquet.
57. You get homesick for Chinese food when away from Taiwan.
58. You can name two dozen different types of night market snacks.
60. At least a part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried.
61. Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you've been here. (As well as the Taiwanese)
62. You can't think of any good reason to leave Taiwan. (Not quite true...but almost)
63. People no longer come up to you on the street and want to be your friend. (Finally!)
64. You're impressed by the safety of Taiwan scaffolding.
65. The last few vacations you've had have been around Taiwan on company outings. (Kending, Hualian...)
67. You prefer squatting to sitting (including toilets). (See my personal guide on using a squat toilet on my blog)
68. You've had a dozen different Taiwan email addresses.
69. You've had several local cell phone numbers. (try like 5 or 6)
71. Your pets are bilingual.
69. Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles. (or stopped taxis)
70. Sometimes the sight of yourself in the mirror shocks you.
71. You think your nose is big.
72. You speak Mandarin with a Taiwanese accent. (easily done if you want to be understood around here)
73. You take "ho" onto the end of your sentences.
74. You say "hei" instead of yes. (I prefer just grunting)
75. You can haggle with the best of them.
76. You don't want to sit near the foreigners on the bus or in the restaurant.
77. Your English has gone to hell.
78. Foreign women look big and fat; foreign men look the same, but also hairy.
79. In your home country, you find yourself accidentally speaking Chinese (answer the phone with "wei?")
81. You can tell taxi drivers the exact route to take...anywhere. (Only way to travel)
82. You know where to buy *anything*.
83. Wearing shoes in a house makes you really uncomfortable. (only in someone else's home as I don't know how clean their floor is)
84. You shower in the evening.
85. The smell of chou doufu makes your mouth water. (with the taste of bile...)
87. You walk into restaurants and they know what you want before you order. (and the local bubble tea shop. Zhen zhu hong cha!)
88. You only know what's popular back home from the dress and speech of new foreign Chinese students. (and music and movies...)
89. You get all mushy inside when you think about Chinese New Year. (Especially because of a certain Taiwanese guy...)
90. The best way of spending your free time is sleeping. (one of my top hobbies)
91. You deflect compliments in the presence of foreign friends.
92. You fight to pay the bill.
93. You don't open gifts until you get home.
94. You have fond memories of a particular spot in Taiwan...that no longer exists. (and I remember when Taipei 101 was just a glint in someone's eye... okay, when it was knee-high to Dangermouse)
96. You don't make important decisions without consulting the temple astrologer. (or the I Ching coins)
97. You can tell what someone wants from what they don't say.
98. ICRT is a "good" radio station. (no, that would be a sign that you were losing your mind)
99. Some of your biggest musical influences have been the Carpenters and Air Supply CDs. (thank you ICRT!
103. You know the difference between a duvet, duna, and comforter.
104. Your mom has a funny accent. (and gets pissed off when I laugh at her accent too!)
105. You look at traffic accidents with indifference.
106. You think Taiwan game shows are fucking hilarious.
107. You can tell the political orientations of local cable news stations from the way they report the news.
108. You think of Tianmu as a place where foreigners live.
110. You own a shirt with a pig on it. (And a notebook, and a pack of stickers, and a handbag, and a schedule book...)
115. You get a post-dated check two months after completing a job and still thank your employer. (If only...)
117. You are in a car with six people and argue with the seventh to hurry up and get in. (Only when it's a taxi)
118. NT$1000 is far less than the equivalent in your home currency.
121. When you're thirsty, you go to 7-11 for a box of tea.
122. Someone wishes you a Happy Easter and you remember it's easter...
124. You see Taiwanese who resemble your foreign friends and relatives back home. (scary the first time that happens...)
125. You've become unconscious of profuse sweating.
126. You no longer sweat.
127. You know where to buy clothes that fit you.
128. You can cook Chinese.
129. You know police and tax officials by name.
130. You know the visa system better than people in the visa offices.
131. You cannot say the number six without an accompanying hand gesture.
133. The only TV shows you know about from home are those in syndication in Taiwan.
134. Money from home looks and feels like "Monopoly" money.
135. You feel embarassed for *other* foreigners.
136. You add syllables to English words when speaking Chinese (eg test-uh)
137. You have Chinese input software on your computer.
140. The rate at which you speak English has slowed considerably, and you use simple words.
144. You have accumulated more stuff than you could possibly take home with you. (And still accumulating more every day)
147. Internal organs are yummy.
150. "Meibanfa" or "bukenung" are perfectly acceptable answers to your inquiries at government offices.
151. You celebrate your birthday with taro, red bean, and lard.
153. You look forward to typhoons because it you might get a day off work. (Doesn't everyone?)
155. You stop caring about tones in your Mandarin.
156. You've taught another foreigner something in Chinese.
157. You've learned something in Chinese from another foreigner.
160. Your friends have gone home, gotten advanced degrees, and returned to Taiwan. (guilty)
161. When someone back home asks you how things are going in "Thailand," you are offended but don't say anything.
162. You dream in Chinese.
164. You have saved money. (not yet...and it's only been five years)
166. When you've been on vacation, you're happy to return. (especially back to the States)
171. You haven't had a dent on your motor vehicle in years. (not having one...)
172. Dry weather irritates your skin.
174. You've used up quite a few health insurance cards. (You were here back in the days when health insurance cards were consumable!)
178. You feel like a kid in a candy store at Costco. (An ADHD, slightly psychotic kid in a candy store, you mean)
183. You know someone who's died here.
185. You could rebuild your entire life in a day.
186. You had hair when you first got here. (I've had six very different hairstyles and several more different colors since coming to Taiwan)
187. New arrivals mistake your sarcasm for bitterness.
189. You just don't understand what all those new young Mandarin students are all about.
190. You've consulted a lawyer.
192. You've been in a local hospital more than once. (Uh, I have my own personal ER bed and the doctors roll their eyes when they see me)
193. You only get gastroenteritis when you return home.
194. You own more travel guides than places you've been to.
195. You have a favorite pair of flip-flops.
196. You think the best gifts are practical.
197. You think the best gift is money.
198. You laugh when people say the word "illegal"
200. You think a half-hour car ride is an excruciatingly long time
202. You've bought the same thing a dozen times ... and will buy a new one when this one breaks.
203. You get get all weepy when you hear Christmas music.
204. You have more money in your pocket right now than you've ever had back home.
205. You spent more money today than you ever did back home.
206. There's at least one room in your house you seldom use. (THE KITCHEN!)
207. The pages of your Chinese notebooks are yellow.
208. The Lonely Planet Taiwan guide is so shallow. (I had to add places to my old one)
209. You're amazed at how low-tech everything is back home. (and cell phones are so 2003 there!)
212. You own something cute.
213. You bake in a toaster oven.
214. You drink the water.
215. You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.
217. You speak English in hotels to get better service.
218. You're always the one who hold the door open button so others can get on.
219. Under no circumstances would you ever give up your seat.
222. You answer either/or questions with yes.
224. You cover your mouth when you pick your teeth.
227. All your air tickets are round trip.
229. You've been on television.
231. You've been through several cellphones, computers, and business cards.
232. Over half of your software is pirated.
235. You forget to leave tips when back home.
236. You don't buy anything unless you can get a discount.
237. You accept business cards with both hands, and inspect both sides without reading them.
239. Bread is thick, mushy, and sweet as hell.
240. You've tasted things that are too sweet.
241. You move to be within walking distance of the MRT.
244. You carry an umbrella with you for much of the year.
245. You dust-mop your floor.
246. You try to tell people back about Taiwan, and are angry when they look bored.
247. You have nothing to say to people back home.
248. You smile when you're embarrassed or angry.
So there you have it. If I drank more and chewed betel nut, I'd probably be able to answer more of those...