American Economy and jokes etc.

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American Economy and jokes etc.

Postby WolvesMon » 15 Dec 2011, 08:31

The recession in the USA has hit everybody really hard… My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your cheque marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
--
She said to me in Harlem. 'Hey! Keep a cool tool fool. I'm wise to the rise in your levis!'
WolvesMon
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Re: American Economy

Postby GuyInTaiwan » 15 Dec 2011, 09:04

Very nice. :lol: Did you think of those yourself?
And you coming in to scold us all like some kind of sour-puss kindie assistant who favors olive cardigans and lemon drinks without sugar. -- Muzha Man

One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words "Socialism" and "Communism" draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, "Nature Cure" quack, pacifist, and feminist in England. -- George Orwell
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Re: American Economy

Postby WolvesMon » 15 Dec 2011, 18:07

Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.


Also 'What do you say to a recent post -graduate from NTU in Taiwan with a masters degree?

'No olives please on my pizza!'
She said to me in Harlem. 'Hey! Keep a cool tool fool. I'm wise to the rise in your levis!'
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Re: American Economy

Postby Indiana » 15 Dec 2011, 18:18

Niiiiiice!!!! :bravo:
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Re: American Economy

Postby allisonmosa » 15 Dec 2011, 18:52

Brilliant. lol. :lol:
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Re: American Economy

Postby WolvesMon » 15 Dec 2011, 22:08

And here's a message that you can print out on a piece of cardboard or, as I prefer, on an old beermat.......


Money's tight,
Times are hard.
So here's your fuckin' Xmas Card!
She said to me in Harlem. 'Hey! Keep a cool tool fool. I'm wise to the rise in your levis!'
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