Bad jokes thread

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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby haokaiyang » 06 Oct 2011, 21:38

"Doctor, doctor when I bend my arm like this it hurts." "Well don't do it!"

That's my favourite joke in the whole world. There's like, some deep philosophy in there, man.[/quote]

Reminds me of the Dr. Zaius joke from the Planet of the Apes episode of the Simpsons:

Troy: "What's wrong with me?"
Zaius: "I think you're crazy."
Troy: "Want a second opinion!"
Zaius: "You're also lazy."
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby haokaiyang » 06 Oct 2011, 21:44

bismarck wrote:Aaaaah... With those two explanations, now I get it. :oops: Experiencing a bit of a blond moment.


Don't feel bad. Most Taiwanese people take a while to get it even after I explain it, and then they groan, as very well they might after hearing such a bad pun.

Speaking of not getting jokes, here's one I didn't get for a while:

Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there.
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit, sitting in his big armchair,
When a beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group.
She offered Gramps some super sex, and Grandpa said, "I'll take the soup!"

Now, that's an embarrassing joke not to get.
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby tommy525 » 08 Oct 2011, 13:53

Why did the cookie go to see his doctor?

(because he felt crummy )
Savage - what a nice performance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCMjEb68ds
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby hannes » 08 Oct 2011, 18:03

haokaiyang wrote:Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there.
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit, sitting in his big armchair,
When a beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group.
She offered Gramps some super sex, and Grandpa said, "I'll take the soup!"

Now, that's an embarrassing joke not to get.


I don't get the joke. Soup or Sex? Is that it? Boah, that joke definitely belongs under Bad Jokes, or is there more to it?
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby haokaiyang » 09 Oct 2011, 16:12

Nope, that's it. I still think it's funny.
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby haokaiyang » 10 Oct 2011, 22:42

The teacher asks Johnny to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence.
Johnny says, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby ādikarmika » 18 Oct 2011, 20:15

Father and son are sitting at the kitchen table.
In the middle of the table is a jar full of rabbit shit.
"What's in the jar, Dad?"
"Them's smart pills. They make you smarter. Why don't you try one?"
Son eats one of the pills and says, "Ugh! It's rabbit shit!"
"See, you're getting smarter already, son" says Dad.
the moon's too bright, the chain's too tight, the beast won't go to sleep
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby Super Hans » 23 Oct 2011, 18:29

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?


















Wipe his ass.
The bones got the wrong detail I hoped it would have for you
Safe for a shin bone or even a hand
It's such a lonely ride...
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby haokaiyang » 24 Oct 2011, 23:22



I believe that at least half of all good bad jokes originate from A Prairie Home Companion.
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Re: Bad jokes thread

Postby Nuit » 02 Nov 2011, 22:01

My wife caught me hiding in the back of the wardrobe the other day.
"What the fuck are you up to?" she asked.
I replied, "Narnia business."
It's raining again here. I'm rising up like a beautiful bubble to the surface.

A wicked wind whips up the hill, a handful of hopeful words.
I was what you would call seriously strung out.
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