Bad jokes thread

[haokaiyang]

"Doctor, doctor when I bend my arm like this it hurts." "Well don't do it!"

That's my favourite joke in the whole world. There's like, some deep philosophy in there, man.[/quote]

Reminds me of the Dr. Zaius joke from the Planet of the Apes episode of the Simpsons:

Troy: "What's wrong with me?"
Zaius: "I think you're crazy."
Troy: "Want a second opinion!"
Zaius: "You're also lazy."

[haokaiyang]

Aaaaah... With those two explanations, now I get it. Experiencing a bit of a blond moment.

Don't feel bad. Most Taiwanese people take a while to get it even after I explain it, and then they groan, as very well they might after hearing such a bad pun.

Speaking of not getting jokes, here's one I didn't get for a while:

Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there.
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit, sitting in his big armchair,
When a beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group.
She offered Gramps some super sex, and Grandpa said, "I'll take the soup!"

Now, that's an embarrassing joke not to get.

[tommy525]

Why did the cookie go to see his doctor?

(because he felt crummy )

[hannes]

Gramps turned 80 the other day, and everybody was there.
And he was dressed up in a brand new suit, sitting in his big armchair,
When a beautiful young naked woman stood up in front of the group.
She offered Gramps some super sex, and Grandpa said, "I'll take the soup!"

Now, that's an embarrassing joke not to get.

I don't get the joke. Soup or Sex? Is that it? Boah, that joke definitely belongs under Bad Jokes, or is there more to it?

[haokaiyang]

Nope, that's it. I still think it's funny.

[haokaiyang]

The teacher asks Johnny to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence.
Johnny says, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."

[adikarmika]

Father and son are sitting at the kitchen table.
In the middle of the table is a jar full of rabbit shit.
"What's in the jar, Dad?"
"Them's smart pills. They make you smarter. Why don't you try one?"
Son eats one of the pills and says, "Ugh! It's rabbit shit!"
"See, you're getting smarter already, son" says Dad.

[Super Hans]

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?


















Wipe his ass.

[haokaiyang]

I believe that at least half of all good bad jokes originate from A Prairie Home Companion.

[Nuit]

My wife caught me hiding in the back of the wardrobe the other day.
"What the fuck are you up to?" she asked.
I replied, "Narnia business."