Men!!!!

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Re: Men!!!!

Postby tommy525 » 29 Jul 2011, 01:10

YOu are right, you cant trust a lier can ya.
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby bismarck » 29 Jul 2011, 01:23

NonTocareLeTete wrote:It's shades of gray, I think. But if you have respect for 1.) families 2.) promises 3.) healthy childhoods (given that there are children involved) then you don't fuck around with attached people.
Sure, if it's not you who helps someone cheat, it'll be someone else, but why would you want it to be you? If you are trying to be the best person you can be, and trying to make the world a better place, why would you help someone lie/hurt/steal (years of someone's life) and cheat? You wouldn't. I have no desire to be a part of such business. Therefore I'll never knowingly be involved with an attached man. If he had any gutts, he'd get out of a bad relationship. I'm not attracted to people without gutts and morals, and liars make me sick.

Not all men/women who cheat are in bad marriages either. Some of them just do it out of lust, childishness or whatever other crap they come up with to justify their "mistake". My favourite is, "It was an accident. I was drunk. I don't even like him." :ohreally:
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby tommy525 » 29 Jul 2011, 03:08

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... dding.html

32pct of men at their wedding have cheated with a bridesmaid? Seems incredible to me. I would think maybe one percent.

Get that last fling in I guess? Would you have sex with a sexy bridesmaid on the night of your own wedding guys? I am sure I wont (or at least pretty sure :D )
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby bismarck » 29 Jul 2011, 11:15

tommy525 wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2019750/Lock-bridesmaids-A-married-men-say-strayed-wedding.html

32pct of men at their wedding have cheated with a bridesmaid? Seems incredible to me. I would think maybe one percent.

Get that last fling in I guess? Would you have sex with a sexy bridesmaid on the night of your own wedding guys? I am sure I wont (or at least pretty sure :D )

Now see, I just don't get that. You're busy marrying the most beautiful woman in the world, from your POV at least, who looks absolutely gorgeous (I don't think I've ever seen a crap looking bride), on supposedly the happiest day of your life together. Then you go shag a bridesmaid? WTF?

And as to the bridesmaid?? It's her sister, cousin or best friend's new husband she's screwing before the wedding ring is even warm on his finger. Even if the groom is a total douche horndog, couldn't a sister, cousin or best friend at least say no to his advances?

If it's not the actual groom they're schtooping, that would make more sense (from the bridesmaids perspective), but still.

Seriously, some people just have no f*cking decency. :2cents:
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Second of all, as in all honeymoons, all is well until it is not. It is until the unexpected happens that you will see all grievances surface -ask anyone in any relationship. The girl can chew with her mouth open, that if you love her, you do not care. If you do not lover her, if her pinkie toe is half an inch deviant, the relationship is doomed. - Icon
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby Lili » 29 Jul 2011, 11:23

bismarck wrote:
tommy525 wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2019750/Lock-bridesmaids-A-married-men-say-strayed-wedding.html

32pct of men at their wedding have cheated with a bridesmaid? Seems incredible to me. I would think maybe one percent.

Get that last fling in I guess? Would you have sex with a sexy bridesmaid on the night of your own wedding guys? I am sure I wont (or at least pretty sure :D )

Now see, I just don't get that. You're busy marrying the most beautiful woman in the world, from your POV at least, who looks absolutely gorgeous (I don't think I've ever seen a crap looking bride), on supposedly the happiest day of your life together. Then you go shag a bridesmaid? WTF?

And as to the bridesmaid?? It's her sister, cousin or best friend's new husband she's screwing before the wedding ring is even warm on his finger. Even if the groom is a total douche horndog, couldn't a sister, cousin or best friend at least say no to his advances?

If it's not the actual groom they're schtooping, that would make more sense (from the bridesmaids perspective), but still.

Seriously, some people just have no f*cking decency. :2cents:

Ehem. It's 32% of people have no f*cking decency, according to the study.

2000 sample size... that is not an insignificant sample. Unstatistically speaking, of course.
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby urowndawg » 29 Jul 2011, 21:15

All we need is grace. Life experiences told us to be perspective, prudent, and stay away from the negative people or those who would hurt us after all...at the end of the day, maturity and independence count....
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby Black Country Woman » 30 Jul 2011, 20:21

This article about advice columnist Dan Savage's views of monogamy is pretty thought provoking. That said, my husband will find his balls on a plate if he gets a concubine............

Savage believes monogamy is right for many couples. But he believes that our discourse about it, and about sexuality more generally, is dishonest. ............“The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitar­ian and fairsey.” In the feminist revolution, rather than extending to women “the same latitude and license and pressure-release valve that men had always enjoyed,” we extended to men the confines women had always endured. “And it’s been a disaster for marriage.”


In the 18th century, according to Coontz, American men could mention their mistresses in letters to their wives’ brothers; they could mention contracting syphilis from a prostitute. Men understood the masculine prerogative, and they countenanced it, even at the expense of their own sisters.
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby Mucha Man » 30 Jul 2011, 20:43

Black Country Woman wrote:This article about advice columnist Dan Savage's views of monogamy is pretty thought provoking. That said, my husband will find his balls on a plate if he gets a concubine............

Savage believes monogamy is right for many couples. But he believes that our discourse about it, and about sexuality more generally, is dishonest. ............“The mistake that straight people made,” Savage told me, “was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous. Men had concubines, mistresses and access to prostitutes, until everybody decided marriage had to be egalitar­ian and fairsey.” In the feminist revolution, rather than extending to women “the same latitude and license and pressure-release valve that men had always enjoyed,” we extended to men the confines women had always endured. “And it’s been a disaster for marriage.”


In the 18th century, according to Coontz, American men could mention their mistresses in letters to their wives’ brothers; they could mention contracting syphilis from a prostitute. Men understood the masculine prerogative, and they countenanced it, even at the expense of their own sisters.


It wasn't that we all decided everything had to be fairsy. Everything did become fairsy. And now most of us don't hold other races, peoples, classes, sexes, in contempt which was that other natural male "prerogative" and the only way the old exploitative sexual system could operate. Times have changed.

We also don't marry at 18, but instead can enjoy sexual freedom for our entire youth if we like. Growing up I always thought that this was the modern bargain: be sexually free for as long as you like but if you decide to marry then you stay faithful.













I think Dan is bringing up an important topic but his thinking is ahistorical and lacking depth.



I say bring back dueling, too.
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby bismarck » 31 Jul 2011, 01:32

Dueling won't help. Everyone's whores now. :2cents:
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Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Sir Winston Churchill

Second of all, as in all honeymoons, all is well until it is not. It is until the unexpected happens that you will see all grievances surface -ask anyone in any relationship. The girl can chew with her mouth open, that if you love her, you do not care. If you do not lover her, if her pinkie toe is half an inch deviant, the relationship is doomed. - Icon
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Re: Men!!!!

Postby Petrichor » 01 Aug 2011, 23:49

bismarck wrote:
Petrichor wrote:
bismarck wrote:I think Jack Burton, Petrichor and Lappy all have valid points. I think both people (the third wheel and the married person/person in a relationship) are at fault, but yes, only the married person is actually cheating. Still, if I had had sex with a married person while I was single, I wouldn't be totally blameless unless I didn't know she was married. :2cents:


Well I think it's a fine line Bismarck. Is knowingly sleeping with someone who is married an immoral act? Undoubtedly yes. Are you responsible for the married person's behaviour? No, I wouldn't say so. Are women in particular responsible for all acts of heterosexual adultery? Of course not.

I see what you're saying, and I'm not particularly disagreeing with you in principle, but see how it feels when someone shags your spouse knowing full well they're married.

And no, I agree women in particular aren't responsible for all acts of heterosexual adultery.


I've had someone shag the father of my children knowing full well his situation and I can honestly say I didn't feel any animosity towards her, only him. Maybe I'm just unusual in that. I suppose I think people will do what they want to do if the opportunity presents itself. He gave her the chance and she took it - why blame her? I wouldn't do that myself but for a whole host of reasons apart from the one that the other person is married. I don't know. I just think people are who they are and rarely change. The woman who slept with my ex (actually there was probably more than one) might have committed an immoral act, but they probably have other sides to their characters that are better than mine. If they done it deliberately to hurt me that would be even worse, and perhaps then I would feel angry towards them, but I couldn't hate them for taking my ex up on his offer. He was the one that made himself available for extra-partnership sex - they could have been any one of a huge number of women. Am I supposed to police all of womankind, or is it more reasonable to expect my partner to keep his trousers on?

I'm not saying you're wrong in your reaction Bismarck. I can understand your viewpoint, the situation just doesn't have the same effect on, or meaning for, me.
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