Male/Female Conversations in Marriage: Taiwanese always interupting

[WhiteHawk]

Is it me, or do conversations that touch emotional chords result in the Taiwanese person arguing relentlessly and illogically, blowing reams of rhetorical questions, with any attempt at a calm response being truncated by an interruption that consists of a spectrum of argumentative splinters that have little to do with the main issue?

And does this bring others to the realization that the only way to avoid such unpleasantness is to clothe oneself in stoic Confucianism, without screwing up in your actions/decisions, which then result in losing the argument anyway?

Just asking.

[tommy525]

You think Taiwanse females are the only ones who blow up and shout, making no "sense" ?

[Nuit]

It's not just you.

Yes. Just agree with everything she is throwing at you. Even if you've no intention of following her 'advice'. You won't win the argument.

Just saying.

ps think thrice before marrying this girl. edit - from the thread title, you've already done this .

[ironlady]

Any of you gentlemen who really want to get to the bottom of this question, rather than simply dismissing it with "women are irrational", might want to check out some of the mass market books by Deborah Tanner. She is a Georgetown professor who has been writing on cross-group communication (inter-gender, inter-generational, etc.) for many years, and has a number of books out that discuss her findings in an accessible way.

[spitzig]

Not related to male/female or topic. My wife sometimes interrupts me. She's realized that ONE reason, anyway, is talking speed. People talk at different speeds. New Yorkers speak faster than Southerners(from the US). I don't know where Taiwanese fit, but definitely faster than me. She thinks I've finished speaking, but I'm just pausing.

[asiababy]

My mother-in-law advised me the fastest way to deal with this kind of situation and stay happily married is to nod your head as if in agreement, and then go and do what you want anyway. Interestingly, when I was home, it's exactly the strategy my dad's friend provided when I asked him his secret to staying happily married for 40+years.

[Nuit]

Any of you gentlemen who really want to get to the bottom of this question, rather than simply dismissing it with "women are irrational"

Any of you ladies who think that that my initial thread response was dismissive, might wish to consider that I viewed the OP's question as being related to his own personal situation, to which I was providing some corroboration. It was not an attempt to make a generalisation that 'all women are irrrational'. They are not.

But I didn't marry any of the 'nots' .

My mother-in-law advised me the fastest way to deal with this kind of situation and stay happily married is to nod your head as if in agreement, and then go and do what you want anyway.

Precisely .

[Mucha Man]

Is it me, or do conversations that touch emotional chords result in the Taiwanese person arguing relentlessly and illogically, blowing reams of rhetorical questions, with any attempt at a calm response being truncated by an interruption that consists of a spectrum of argumentative splinters that have little to do with the main issue?

Yes, most arguments are like this. An hour of often literally the most off-base accusations, off-topic rants, and stretches of logic. But, if you hang in, and keep calmly insisting that things aren't so you can usually break into the honest zone.

Most people give up early because frankly they just don't seem to care enough, about both the truth, their relationship, and their partner.

[Tempo Gain]

It depends on the issue. Minor, I go with Asiababy. Major, MM.

[ironlady]

Well, the point I'm making is that there are actual, documented linguistic bases for a lot of what is being observed in these situations. Saying that the other side is "irrational" or "illogical" means you are taking your own communication style as the Absolute Right, which is probably not going to be productive in the long run if your goals is to communicate rather than to be correct.