Taiwanese Wife Verbally Abusive

[sandman]

Last year I was invited to one of those DIY-clay-oven-chicken-wrapped-in-newspaper picnics out in the sticks of Southern Taiwan.

The deal was an inner circle of men building then tending the oven thing, and an outer circle of women, clucking and squawking abuse at them.

No kidding, sounded like a fox got in the henhouse.

MAN! Them things can be fun, but I know what you mean. Last one I was at, I got that EXACT same thing. Except it was around 7 miles south of Aviemore, but the womanly squawking was the exact same. Strange accent, granted, but other than that?...

[tsukinodeynatsu]

The Scottish. Wonderful people, but world champion complainers. Could give the Aussies a run for their money.

[finley]

Us English taught them everything they know. Didn't they do well?

[tsukinodeynatsu]

The Scots or the Australians?

Actually, that makes perfect sense if you're talking about the Australians, because the only English people I know who are serial complainers are all chavs. Who would've been the type to get deported way back when we were colonising. And the most accepted form of conversation in Boganland is complaint after complaint after complaint.

Dunno if it's any different outside of London, but the middle class there is mostly populated by the type of passive aggressives that would make your average Taiwanese boyfriend appear communicative. Mugging an old lady? Be prepared to be met with disapproving stares from all around. Chewing gum loudly with your mouth open on the tube in the morning? More stares, and the raising of Metros to hide your ugly visage. Queue jumping? Oooh, you might get tutted for that one.

And typing that out successfully made me NOT want to go back to England. Or Australia. Maybe I should move to Ireland, 'twas nice there.

[finley]

The Scots or the Australians?

Both, of course If whinging were an Olympic event, the Brits would win gold, silver and bronze. And the consolation prize. And they still wouldn't be bloody happy.

because the only English people I know who are serial complainers are all chavs.

Well ... that's sort of the definition of a chav, isn't it? Everything is someone else's fault, and the whole world needs to know about it. Seriously, though, I get the impression that a lot of Brits are deeply unhappy; they're not just moaning for the sake of it. There is something intensely irritating about England that I can't put my finger on.

It's quite possible it wasn't a tirade at all. It sounds like it a lot of the time, even when not!

I used to have conversations like this with my (Taiwanese) SO:
her: [loud recitation of every crime, real or imagined, that finley has ever committed, in chronological order]
finley: Can you calm down and stop shouting? If there's something wrong, tell me what it is normally and maybe we can do something about it.
her: [genuinely surprised] I'm not shouting. I am NOT SHOUTING.

Sadly, I have less patience these days and just tell her to STFU. Even more sadly, that actually works.

[Homey]

It's a low class thing, not necessarily just a Taiwanese thing, but it does appear to be much much more common here.

Years ago, when I was young and dumb, I ended up living with an older woman that was quite abusive. One thing learned is that you need to be somewhat of an asshole. Being a normal good person, doesn't often work and is seen as weakness.

One example is a simple thing like saying "I am sorry." In most situations with rational, and semi-classy people this is the best thing you can do. They respect this. They can see that you are trying to make peace and admitting your part in whatever the issue might be. It works well.

With the verbally abusive classless women it fails miserably. They are empowered by it, and see you as weaker. This in my opinion is the root of the whole problem. Once I figured this out, the remaining days while I extricated myself from the crazy women were much much better. You don't say your sorry, you don't be nice, in fact the more of an asshole you are the nicer they will eventually get. It won't happen overnight, but you must change. Doing the same things and expecting a different result is insanity.

I honestly think regardless of whether or not there are children involved, and maybe even more so, that the wisest thing to do is to get out as soon as possible. The chances of this types of woman changing is extremely thin, and will only happen when they 'hit bottom' and clearly see the error of their ways. If you want to help them, the children, and yourself; Run forest! Run!

[Dangergyrl]

I have to say as a woman I find a lot of the things you guys have said to be true. I have been hanging out with male co-workers, just talking at breaks or walking out of the office, etc. A few of these guys are married and I have heard or seen their Taiwanese wives just go off at them for nothing special! Like they call their wife to see if she needs some extra milk from the store and I can hear her over the phone screaming, "Why do you need to call me, get off!" Male co-worker was like "I don't know what that was about we haven't had a fight for several weeks and it's not that time of the month. (Haha). Later I found out that this is her normal behavior. Going off for something minor or yelling at him, sometimes even in public.

I wondered if I had ever done that to guys? When I go home I observe my family members and friends that are married and try to see if they do this, they don't really. At least not at the drop of hat. My Taiwanese female friends that are honest think it has more to do with insecurity or their upbringing. I'm still not sure but I have seen my friends go off like WW III at their guys for some really simple shit. Like forgetting to put the cap on the toothpaste once or twice.

[veilside]

Take it from me man, I am Taiwanese American, chicks here in Taiwan are insane. I can't say for all but some are just plain messed up. I think it has to do with culture we come from are very different from Taiwan culture. I found out Taiwan girls here are very different from Taiwan girls in the U.S., I've lived in Philippines for a year too, over there the girls are different too compare to Filipino girls in the states.

[dan2006]

Take it from me man, I am Taiwanese American, chicks here in Taiwan are insane. I can't say for all but some are just plain messed up. I think it has to do with culture we come from are very different from Taiwan culture. I found out Taiwan girls here are very different from Taiwan girls in the U.S., I've lived in Philippines for a year too, over there the girls are different too compare to Filipino girls in the states.

I'm not being sarcastic, but I'm actually curious. What examples make you think the girls here are messed up?

[FloraChen]

Is it just my Taiwanese wife, or are some other Taiwanese wives also verbally abusive to their foreign spouses?
Been married 7 years. Feels like 70. Every little thing I do is criticized...and I mean every little thing. I get regular "tongue lashings" that last for 4 hours sometimes and during which I'm told just how useless of a husband, father, lover, person, teacher, etc, etc, I am.

Desperate to have a normal wife. Don't want to divorce because I'll be leaving my 2 year old son with this woman and can't stand the thought of that.

.

I am a taiwanese girl, have foreign bf, we have been together for three years. i guess i never verbally abusive( we even seldom argue)... maybe you should considerate her more~ maybe she just tired from work or tired from taking care of kid. This issue can be solved~ you just need to talk to her and ask her to talk smoothly and tell her you felt sad and stressed about this situation! She will change~!!
From some of tradtional educated parents will make their children like this, who did verbally abusive ~ my mum did this(im 23), their education was from verbally abusive , so they will do this, they believed use verbally abusive then you will change!! so they will keep doing this!!

so, my opnion~ talk to her smoothly~ give you two new chances to stay together sweet~ think about new ways makes sweet feeling coming back~~
sweet and love should be keeped by both you two : D

wish you become happier soon