Is there an ideal time to move in together?

[ehophi]

I have to vocalize that I want my primary SO to keep her distance. I need long stretches of time to myself, so we arranged to meet only one or two days per week.

You have more than 1 then? You old dog! That would explain why you only want to see her 1 or 2 days a week. Gotta find time for the other laydees

Someone has used his logic and lifted the shroud. I feel so naked!

But that's a half-truth. I would only need two or three days for the other laydees. Most of my private time is spent on a computer during the weekdays.

[ksidnas]

Married my wife after 10 months of first setting my eyes on her.

My brother bested my record with 6 months.

I think my Dad married my Mom around 15 months.

Impulsiveness runs in my family much?

When it feels right, then it is right.

Though fighting still sucks.

It is something that cannot be avoided. I don't drink, so I have to stay awake the whole time.

[Mucha Man]

There's no right time because moving in is not a step toward a more serious relationship. It can be, but it isn't some inevitable step. Living together only gives you the vaguest idea what the other person will be like when married, as it is not in any way the same level of commitment.

[dasaint]

Don't do it. Keep you own place/space/man cave for you.

Or soon after, your post here will be "How Do I get Crazy Taiwan Woman Out of My Apartment!".

hahaha in case you have not noticed it yet, OP is a Taiwanese Woman.

[prevlin]

My girlfriend and I have dated for about 8 months and she will be moving in next week...let's wait and see...

[finley]

There's no right time because moving in is not a step toward a more serious relationship. It can be, but it isn't some inevitable step. Living together only gives you the vaguest idea what the other person will be like when married, as it is not in any way the same level of commitment.

I'd agree with the first bit, but not the last. Moving in together is a MAJOR commitment. There is no practical difference between living together and being married (some jurisdictions treat them as identical for legal purposes). The main difference is that, if you're married, the expectations are clear. They might even be written down. At minimum, you made some vows. When moving in together, everything is vague. It's very much "let's wait and see". That's fine up to a point, but the downside is that you can watch your lives slip by in comfortable complacency, neither making plans (because you're not married, right?) nor wanting to leave.

Having been there, done that (several times) I would say don't do it. But if you do, make a (moderately) big deal of it. Have a little party with lots of friends and relatives (those of them who don't disapprove), or a "honeymoon". Make some specific commitments to each other. Since there are no "standard" ones, it will take a bit of thought, a bit of tact, and a great deal of honesty to do that. If you manage it, that's a good sign. If it turns into a big flaming row, then maybe now is not the right time to move in together. Maybe there won't be a right time. Assuming all is well, make some plans, big plans, especially when it comes to finances. Living together is a fantastic opportunity for some financial teamwork without the legal weirdness of marriage - you will, of course, need to decide on your own (legally enforceable) agreements for splitting shared assets if you break up, but IMO that's less complicated if you're not married.

[tommy525]

so far the only time iv lived with a woman we cohabited for 2 years and fought constantly. So we tried marriage, guess how long that lasted? Not long at all.

If you fight before marriage you sure as heck are gonna after !

And we dated for years before living together. So length of time means nothing in the long run really.

Now I have a fiancee who i chatted with online for years, then DECIDED EACH OTHER IS A MARRIAGE CANDIDATE. Then we met and spent FIVE WHOLE DAYS together and now we are planning marriage.

I feel its a better shot then my first !!

Time together before living together doesnt mean a whole lot. Its still up to each individual case.

The ONLY Rule Book there is , is designed to be BROKEN.

[wonder]

Someone once told me the unwritten rule is one year, give or take. The logic behind this is if you dont make a commitment, then you and your SO will subconsciously begin to wonder if there ever will be a commitment, which adds stress to the relationship.

If you go on for too long in a non committal relationship, there is too much room for wondering what the other person is going to do with their life.

The flip side of the logic is after one year together and you still have not made a commitment then it is not too late to end the relationship and seek out a partner who you are better suited for. You should probably know after one year if you want to make long term plans in your relationship.