Help me settle a dilemma

[Ryan the third]

Superking I think the break up with her calls are based on the assumption that a girl that thinks the way that the OPs girl does will be a pain in the ass about other things, too. Especially if this behavior starts at 400 NT. I am fully behind tsuki[...] in this. If a girl shows such deeply flawed character over so little money and freaks out the way she does there cant be much good in the future.

Edit: I am also with tsuki[...] on the urge to smack this kind of girl in the face because its so mind numbing. And I don't see how "girl makes crazy demand => give in to demand and give her more money to make her happy" could possibly be the basis for a functioning relationship. I am by no means cheap but in the ops situation I would probably decide to tell her those coupons are my friends and she wont get them. What she would get is 400 Nt thrown at the ground in front of her feet from my own pocket. If she needs that money so desperately that she has to stoop so low then by all means go ahead and stoop and take it...

[tsukinodeynatsu]

And Tsuki: Walking around resisting the urge not to smack other people in the face? I assume that is just a bit of written artistic licence. Otherwise I hope we never meet otherwise I'd need an ambulance for my bruises and you'd need a straight jacket.

It's not hard, I usually don't meet these types of people more than once. I certainly don't forge relationships of any kind with them. I doubt I'd have to ever smack you because I doubt you'd be demanding things of mine or that I go out of my way for you. As a general rule, I refuse to treat adults like children if they're important to me in any way because I like to be able to respect my friends, family and acquaintances, and people who like being 'spoiled' or pandered to generally dislike me because I won't do it. This works out well, because they tend to avoid me so I don't have to avoid them.

(The real reason I'm self-employed: I cannot kiss butt. Just can't do it. I'm one of the knuckleheaded idiots for whom death or dishonour is not really much of a choice.)


If you want more level-headed, measured advice....


Honestly, if I was in the OP's situation I would've told her that I couldn't give her the money because I'd already agreed to split it with my housemates, but thank you very much for finding it and I'll treat you to dinner. Instead I think the OP couldn't be bothered to say anything like that and came up with some crap excuse, girl sensed it was crap but wasn't mature enough to dig underneath and just reacted to the bullshit radar going off. Both are at fault.

There's really not a whole lot he can do to 'grease over' the situation now that they've had this stupid argument over 400NT without taking her out/buying her something etc., which (and I'm assuming that the girl in question is quite.. princessy) could just reenforce an idea that I was supposed to be buying her things/submitting to her whims/spoiling her or whatever other idea is going to create a lot of stress for me a few months down the line. If she's a reasonable girl and it's a reasonably good relationship the only thing needed to 'fix it' should be a good night's sleep and maybe an evening curled up on the couch with a movie, since the argument was petty and stupid anyway.

If I actually was the OP and I'd said that and she'd still gone off at me, I would have probably tried to find out if there were any extenuating circumstances (work stress etc.) and more than likely broken up with her if she didn't apologise. Relationships are about compromise and you both need to be able to give and take; if your partner prefers dramatics over reasonable discussion then it's a good idea to think about how much you're willing to put up with dramatics twenty years down the line.

But the OP hasn't got a right to ask her to apologise because he lied to her.

But - and we're coming round full circle now - all we have to go off is the OPs post, which paints his beloved in a not-so-lovely light and is decidedly one-sided. Everybody giving advice can only give advice based off what he's posted and none of us know the actual nature of their relationship, so it's going to be rather extreme.

SOLELY BASED OFF THE OP'S POST, I think they should split because:

1. Girl previously helped him claim 400NT which she then decided to keep ('Hey, I'll go get this money for you!' turned into 'Hey, I got this money, can I keep it?')
2. Boy felt he must lie to girl about something reasonable (in my experience, guys usually lie about things like this because they think you're going to get mad if they tell you the truth, which in some cases is evidence of a stupid man and in some cases is evidence of an overly-tetchy girl)
3. Girl is pissed because he won't give her the winning receipts, when I bet she started out the conversation with something akin to 'Hey, look at all those receipts, let's see if you won any money!' and not 'Can I have these receipts?'

Deceit at every turn. And deceit over things which aren't even worth being deceitful about.

[tommy525]

It's more the fact that she's demanding something that isn't hers and that they obviously have some communication issues that makes me think they should split.

Honestly, I don't understand how you men put up with these type of girls. Whenever I meet them it takes a lot of effort not to smack them.

You are a girl Tsuki, you simply do not see them like we do

I see (OMG ) so many super sexy ladies on the MRT, so much so I prefer that to driving the car my sis is loaning me. I told my sis bout em and she said she sees these little cuties as all she devils Course she has no use for them like I have you see?

DIff point of view.

Diff things we can do / not do with them.

[Confuzius]

we all know whatya wake up with whenya lie down with a dog....

Now whenya lie down with an insane person (no matter how hot they are) fleas are the least of your problems

Either way, the relationship is wacked and it takes 2 to tango.

[Isha]

I noticed that when it comes to money matters, quite a few super-sweet locals suddenly turn into super-selfish psychos.

[superking]

1. Girl previously helped him claim 400NT which she then decided to keep ('Hey, I'll go get this money for you!' turned into 'Hey, I got this money, can I keep it?')
2. Boy felt he must lie to girl about something reasonable (in my experience, guys usually lie about things like this because they think you're going to get mad if they tell you the truth, which in some cases is evidence of a stupid man and in some cases is evidence of an overly-tetchy girl)
3. Girl is pissed because he won't give her the winning receipts, when I bet she started out the conversation with something akin to 'Hey, look at all those receipts, let's see if you won any money!' and not 'Can I have these receipts?'

Deceit at every turn. And deceit over things which aren't even worth being deceitful about.

She isn't being deceitful. She is saying, "can I keep this money?" It's her boyfriend and it's 400nt. Big deal. He shouldn't be so tight, in my opinion. He should have told her to keep the 400nt, then told his buddies that he checked the receipts and they won 400nt and then offer to give them 400nt (out of his own pocket). They probably wouldn't want it.
I don't see this as a gateway crime, she probably checked the receipts for her ma as a child and got to keep the low value ones and is carrying this on. Not really the work of a manipulative psycho hose beast who is inches away from a slapping. Just someone who still sees that low amount of money as something she can have. Besides. 400nt, is hardly an auspicious amount of money to collect, what what.

[zender]

Well, give the girl credit for not being too superstitious to accept NT$400.

That 4 is pretty inauspicious, but the more zeros that follow, the more it balances out in favor of auspiciousness.

Who wants to look through trash for NT$4? ... ...
----------------------------------------------
I'm not superstitious at all. (bending-down-to-pick-up-NT$4 smilie)

[Taigottawanna]

It's more the fact that she's demanding something that isn't hers and that they obviously have some communication issues that makes me think they should split.

Honestly, I don't understand how you men put up with these type of girls. Whenever I meet them it takes a lot of effort not to smack them.

You are a girl Tsuki, you simply do not see them like we do

I see (OMG ) so many super sexy ladies on the MRT, so much so I prefer that to driving the car my sis is loaning me. I told my sis bout em and she said she sees these little cuties as all she devils Course she has no use for them like I have you see?

DIff point of view.

Diff things we can do / not do with them.

You have a sister?

[tommy525]

I have two, both married with kids.

[sandman]

You there! That's right! YOU! The poofy-looking one. Get your bony arse UNDER the wire and CRAWL, you pissant wee motherfucker!