I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Deuce Dropper » 21 Apr 2012, 10:16

vanityvice wrote:No, before you judge the subject please hear me out. I'm 28, born to Taiwanese parents but we're living in the Philippines. I have no plans of getting married and that is quite a disappointment to my parents and my relatives (who keep on playing the match maker role each time we visit and it's really annoying to me), and the thing is I really hate how my dad thinks it's a contest (maybe it is, to some), but to me it's not exactly the top most priority in life and I used to enjoy going home but now it's just dreadful every time because of this one aunt who keeps introducing me to guys and expects me to get engaged based on my first impression, because I guess the guys who seek a life partner in that way are also desperate or in a hurry. My dad thinks I'm not getting any younger (wait, I think so too) and he thinks it's my obligation to get married and have kids and what, live happily ever after? I really hate to be known to them as single as they won't stop doing this. If you're living in Taiwan you probably understand how most Taiwanese parents are. I really wish someone would be kind enough to help me out and just be a buddy and my pretend boyfriend so they would back off. I have been honest to them, and I have told them I'm not ready but maybe they don't know the word respect because we are children, we should listen to them.

I'm frustrated, as you can tell.


I am strangely turned on by this post. Now let me readjust my seating position to hide my expanding mid-section and offer some advice.

The fake boyfriend tactic is doomed to failure, and it will only complicate things, turning this simple A->B issue between you and your parents into a Three's Company episode. Yeah the fake boyfriend will quell the usual marriage chat for the immediate meeting, but then you will have to deal with the follow up: He seemed nice...How are you two getting along? Be nice to him...Are you treating him right? Awkward sex advice...Awkward keeping your man advice...constant update inquiries etc...

You are opening a whole new can of worms which may have a ranker odor than what you were dealing with before.

Come clean with your folks, it is 2012 for fucksakes, no one gets married at 28 anymore.
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Battery9 » 21 Apr 2012, 10:23

Hi
You don't have to tell them you are a lesbian. Seriously, they will get worse. Just tell them honestly that you don't want to get married ever, and that they should stop trying to hook you up with people. If you get a pretend boyfriend, they will just freak out that he's a foreigner (seeing that they sound pretty set in their ways) or ask you when you're going to get married.


oh. and if you want to meet more creepies like you, find The Red House shore on Facebook. That's our little social hang out group.

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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby ChewDawg » 21 Apr 2012, 13:39

Deuce Dropper wrote:
vanityvice wrote:No, before you judge the subject please hear me out. I'm 28, born to Taiwanese parents but we're living in the Philippines. I have no plans of getting married and that is quite a disappointment to my parents and my relatives (who keep on playing the match maker role each time we visit and it's really annoying to me), and the thing is I really hate how my dad thinks it's a contest (maybe it is, to some), but to me it's not exactly the top most priority in life and I used to enjoy going home but now it's just dreadful every time because of this one aunt who keeps introducing me to guys and expects me to get engaged based on my first impression, because I guess the guys who seek a life partner in that way are also desperate or in a hurry. My dad thinks I'm not getting any younger (wait, I think so too) and he thinks it's my obligation to get married and have kids and what, live happily ever after? I really hate to be known to them as single as they won't stop doing this. If you're living in Taiwan you probably understand how most Taiwanese parents are. I really wish someone would be kind enough to help me out and just be a buddy and my pretend boyfriend so they would back off. I have been honest to them, and I have told them I'm not ready but maybe they don't know the word respect because we are children, we should listen to them.

I'm frustrated, as you can tell.


I am strangely turned on by this post. Now let me readjust my seating position to hide my expanding mid-section and offer some advice.

The fake boyfriend tactic is doomed to failure, and it will only complicate things, turning this simple A->B issue between you and your parents into a Three's Company episode. Yeah the fake boyfriend will quell the usual marriage chat for the immediate meeting, but then you will have to deal with the follow up: He seemed nice...How are you two getting along? Be nice to him...Are you treating him right? Awkward sex advice...Awkward keeping your man advice...constant update inquiries etc...

You are opening a whole new can of worms which may have a ranker odor than what you were dealing with before.

Come clean with your folks, it is 2012 for fucksakes, no one gets married at 28 anymore.


My advice would be to have Deuce be your pretend boyfriend. Your relatives would be so turned off by his Canadian hayseed mannerisms :lol: , they'd be happy to see you remain single forever or to marry a woman.
So I got an expresso and a hot burrito!
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby TheGingerMan » 21 Apr 2012, 13:59

Take No Guff From No Swine.
Especially if they are family. Trust me, I know this is awkward, especially for some Taiwanese daughters.
They would rather shapeshift like a willow in the breeze, but it's not getting anyone anywhere. Stagnant puddle.

While I'm all for deception in the heart of war, there are times when must one hold an established position. Whatever the cost.
Self-integrity perimetre actions rarely fail, though they do take some time & effort.
None other than yourself can really man those missions.
"Turne ye to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope,
even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee:"

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with skalds reward for skilled word?"

~~~Egill Skallagrimssøn, c.974


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This post was recommended by jimipresley (21 Apr 2012, 14:06)
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby jimipresley » 21 Apr 2012, 14:09

TheGingerMan wrote:Take No Guff From No Swine.
Especially if they are family. Trust me, I know this is awkward, especially for some Taiwanese daughters.
They would rather shapeshift like a willow in the breeze, but it's not getting anyone anywhere. Stagnant puddle.

While I'm all for deception in the heart of war, there are times when must one hold an established position. Whatever the cost.
Self-integrity perimetre actions rarely fail, though they do take some time & effort.
None other than yourself can really man those missions.

That is one GEM of a post, TheGingerMan! Pleas can you learn me to torque like that? :bow: :bravo:

Esprit de corps
!
You can live here and have a great life and not be the least bit into living the local life. Clowns will try to diss you for it saying you gotta get down with the program, but fuck em, treat this place like a buffet and yous be on a diet. Take what you want and nothing extra, slam those oysters, but leave the bread sticks and dinner rolls behind. - Deuce Dropper

I'm much more of a nasty rotter in real life, especially with vapid or vacuous verbiage from the ill read & intellectually challenged. - TheGingerMan

Don't be a cheap cunt. - Deuce Dropper
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Ducked » 21 Apr 2012, 14:35

If you go with Plan A, your fall-back position (I can do this milspeak jive too) would be to get your fake boyfriend a fake boyfriend.

Do it twice, maybe even three times. Defence in depth.

This emotional bombardment will raise their consciousness soften them up for the final break-out, once is bad luck, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action...er...stylee.
We reach for the sky. Neither does civilisation.

(Incidentally, if the search button is your friend, you must have some bloody useless, dysfunctional friends)
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Ducked » 21 Apr 2012, 14:57

housecat wrote:My ex-brother-in-law came out to me first, ..........etc, see above.......... His lesbian sister became a monk.
.


Don't you mean a nun? Or am I just getting confused?


housecat wrote:*My brother-in-law wasn't my husband's brother--he was his cousin--his father's sister's son. So, technically outside the family, but the relationship, at least in my ex's family, is still called brother.


Ah......the latter option, then.
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(Incidentally, if the search button is your friend, you must have some bloody useless, dysfunctional friends)
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Zla'od » 21 Apr 2012, 15:57

My vote is for telling them the truth. (Perhaps they already suspect.) No more games, no more tricks or deceit. Truth has a way of making everything fall into place, even in the face of ancient prejudices. And your father's heart may be more resiliant than you think.

But keep in mind this idea about a fake boyfriend--it would make a great romantic comedy screenplay!

Good luck.
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby housecat » 21 Apr 2012, 17:31

Ducked wrote:
housecat wrote:My ex-brother-in-law came out to me first, ..........etc, see above.......... His lesbian sister became a monk.
.


Don't you mean a nun? Or am I just getting confused?


housecat wrote:*My brother-in-law wasn't my husband's brother--he was his cousin--his father's sister's son. So, technically outside the family, but the relationship, at least in my ex's family, is still called brother.


Ah......the latter option, then.


My husband's cousin(who is a homosexual male)'s sister (who is a homosexual female) became a buddhist monk (nun?) in order to escape the pressure of her family for her to marry. That's as clear as I can be.
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Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

Postby Ducked » 21 Apr 2012, 21:05

housecat wrote:
Ducked wrote:
housecat wrote:My ex-brother-in-law came out to me first, ..........etc, see above.......... His lesbian sister became a monk.
.


Don't you mean a nun? Or am I just getting confused?


housecat wrote:*My brother-in-law wasn't my husband's brother--he was his cousin--his father's sister's son. So, technically outside the family, but the relationship, at least in my ex's family, is still called brother.


Ah......the latter option, then.


My husband's cousin(who is a homosexual male)'s sister (who is a homosexual female) became a buddhist monk (nun?) in order to escape the pressure of her family for her to marry. That's as clear as I can be.


Ah...OK. Nun then. Monks are male.
We reach for the sky. Neither does civilisation.

(Incidentally, if the search button is your friend, you must have some bloody useless, dysfunctional friends)
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