I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not)

[Ducked]

Re: I need a pretend boyfriend (American or not) I'd say NOT.

In other words, I would advise against deploying American assets in this role.

While they no doubt have some admirable qualities, size isn't everything, and some tactical subtelty is required here.

This is a job for British intelligence

[superguavaguy]

I'm leaving Taiwan in a week, but if you'd posted sooner we could have made a deal, like I marry you to get your patents off your back, and I get residency in Taiwan, or something like that. You could always pretend you or I were infertile to get your patents to shut up about children. A huge percentage of Taiwanese are infertile. I'd still be willing to marry you and bring you to America, if the price was right. Message me if you're interested.

[ceevee369]

I'm frustrated, as you can tell.

Summary to see if I have the facts right:
- You live in the Philippines - the Asian mekka of gay and lesbian open-mindedness
- In Taiwan, in 2012, lesbian couples are defacto "visible" on the street
- Your father is the typical old TW patriarch- preaching respect - but you don't want to take risk telling him openly your situation due to his weak heart.

Well, as some said - you can't play the fake BF thingy. Are you gonna wait till father moves to another life and then regret for the rest of your life never having told him the truth? Not to be judgmental - but biting the bullet might be the best thing to do.
Oh, and my wife says I am not allowed to be your fake BF seeing the picture from Boracay you posted
Anyway - success with whatever you'll do

[Timabee]

The fake BF idea is a non-starter. It will not solve your problem (short-run or long-run) and is likely to make the problem even worse (i.e. you are gay AND you lied to us!)

I agree with those suggesting a straight-on coming out to your parents is best. My older brother did so and despite some initial shock from parents and some siblings, time eventually brought everyone back together. However, I can appreciate that saying this and doing it are world's apart.

My wife and sister-in-law (both Taiwanese) suggested very strongly that coming out directly would be very problematic for reasons of "face" for the parents. They suggested (as others have within this thread) that you tell your parents that you do not intend to get married, now or ever and do not provide any specific explanations. They suggested an approach as follows: (1) You are a 28 old year-old woman, independent and completely capable of making your own life decisions. (2) You have a career and/or friends, interests etc. and have decided that marriage is not something you are interested in pursuing. They will not like it, and they may see through your explanation..so be it. If they ask...you can tell them. If they don't...it's not really their business anyway and they don't need to know.

Best wishes and good luck.

[Nuit]

It took 2-3 years for my mother & sister to reconcile, after my sister came out. And that was in a much more supportive & less-traditional environment.

I think the fake boyfriend argument has something going for it, it certainly buys you a big chunk of time. A lot depends on how much time you spend here, and how visible the beard has to be. If he's only 'in play' for a few days a year, then no big deal.

[Battery9]

yeah, I don't think people realise how being gay is still looked down upon by most of the world. Only you know your parents well enough to know what is the best thing to do. Personally, I would just say I don't want to get married thanks, but you never know, you just may get to meet some really cool guy here that just happened to study at the wrong university and can't get a work permit to stay here.

[tsukinodeynatsu]

Battery9's got a good point, I was reading through some of the responses in this thread the other day and found myself thinking 'Huh.. cultural differences really DO exist.'

There is an option of getting married to a guy who's also gay. What works out really, really well is if your girlfriend and his boyfriend also get married. Apparently this is growing fairly common in China, I remember reading an article on it a year or so ago.

[antarcticbeech]

How about getting married to a closet gay and pretending you're sterile. Or he is. So no children on the horizon.

Just a thought.

[Isha]

How about getting married to a closet gay and pretending you're sterile. Or he is. So no children on the horizon.

I read about it in news from China. Lesbian couple marrying Gay couple to satisfy parents and pretending to be sterile.

[Feiren]

Bad idea. Marriage creates all kinds of inheritance and other rights that even a pre-nuptial agreement may not solve in Taiwan.
ch.