tommy525 wrote:They are not your enemy. Your enemy is your own partner.
tommy525 wrote:Unless of course they got all the money, then all bets may be off
kaikai34 wrote:I'm with Bubba. Your boyfriend needs to grow a pair, stand up for you and let them know they can't treat you like shit. If he can't do that, then it's only going to get worse and you may need to move on. They need you guys more you need them. Do you know what's the worst thing for old people? Being alone. The only way they can hold anything over your boyfriend is with money. If they've got lots of money/property and he wants to get a piece one day, then like Tommy said, all bets are off.
Ed en Vadrouille wrote:I was in a similar situation with a girl from the south that i came to Taiwan for. We met and lived abroad, and then I moved here for her. Things changed a lot when she came back. She changed a lot. We were together 6 years. Everything i did was never good enough for the family, who was boring as hell and dysfunctional. They were blue, rich, and budhist, so not the easiest to deal with.
Ultimately i understood she would not put me first in her life, in front of her family, when I had given up everything for her. So we ended it, peacefully.
In my current relationship, I'm luckier. She has stood up to her parents, actively disagreeing with them. I have encouraged her, sometime even pushed her in that direction. She has turned out happy with it, and the results for me are pretty good. She wants to spend time abroad.
I'm no longer easy going with older Taiwanese people. It's only a one way relationship the way they see it. I'm polite and do my best to give them face and social status signs that make them feel safer, but I insist standing on my limits when they go too far (which they often do). I no longer accept special reasons, special cases, and excuses like I did for so long in Tainan. In my opinion old people in Taiwan are often capricious and irresponsible, pretending what they do is about respect, tradition, and humility.
If you ask around, you'll find insane stories of morale abuse between older and newer generation, in-laws and bride/groom in Taiwan. Be careful not to be the next one.
tommy525 wrote:Be a man, they will respect you for it, like Ed is learning.
Forumosans browsing this forum: yumpeppercake and 2 visitors