finley wrote:They certainly have, and you're right that something needs to be done to change it back again. That's a good blog - I'm convinced that eating properly is not about money. Tomorrow I'll be on a plane to the Philippines, where I'm planning to kick off a vertically-integrated agriculture/retail/restaurant project. Ten days, three provinces, lots of land to look at. If you think feeding British people is difficult, over there, the expected price for a meal is around 20-40pesos (30-60 pence), and a lot of people subsist on pot noodles made from (subsidized) American wheat. I think it doesn't have to be that way, and I intend to try and prove it. Not because I feel sorry for poor/fat people and think they need charity, but because I think I can make money, enjoy a new challenge, and possibly make a few other people happier in the process.
It's not about money, it's about long term poverty. I've lived with no money and ate well. It's the simple treat when you NEVER have new shoes or take a holiday and ... just so many things involved in first world poverty.
Well, I gather you're attached, but if you weren't, being fat would limit your options. I'm old and decrepit, but I like to stay in shape (to the extent that my age allows) for my own satisfaction; also, I'd never expect my wife to get all excited by a fat guy. I think it's disrespectful not to pay attention to one's body shape just because you've snared a partner, just as it's disrespectful to let slide one's standards of dress, manners, or oral hygiene.
Actually, I left him to move to China. I was fatter when I met him. Given that he picked me out and he likes my body, would it be disrespectful to 'let myself go' by dieting and exercising? Of course not.
Nope. This isn't just a woman thing. Men get as much or more pressure to not look like slobs. .
Not so much on forumosa... Where's the 'white men are ugly and bald' cracks? The 'ABCs dress like mental patients' quips? And in the wider world. Just ... no. You don't. Men comment on womens' appearence, openly and publically from the age of about ten and up. It's threatening, a lot of the time, sometimes it's rude, sometimes it thoughtless, sometimes it's said to put you in your place.
Sure it's bad manners to do that. But people like what they like, and you may one day find yourself in a situation where you would very much like to get to know some particular guy ... better, but it's not going to happen because his (physical) preference is for slim women. Saying to yourself: "well, I would never want to be with a guy who can't accept me as I am" rather misses the point.!
I can honestly say that if a guy doesn't like me, then there's no chemistry. No chemistry, that's a male friend. I'm fine with that. Bros before, em, boys you shag. Me: I'm very picky and actually quite grossed out by dozens of physical traits, but it's simply not OK to say that in the presence of people that may have those traits. You keep it to yourself.
I don't go out with guys who like blondes or Taiwanese women either. So?
Even if you have medical issues that make it hard to lose weight, it's probably not impossible; you might even find that those issues are alleviated by becoming slim. If you wanted to be slim, you could be, so if you're not, I have to assume it's because you just don't want it enough. I can't criticize your choice, but I don't think it's unreasonable or sexist to point out that the choice exists.
People judge fat people because - in my experience - they often have either have an external locus of control, or have emotional issues with food. Both of those things are unattractive in and of themselves. Everybody
gets screwed up by their childhood, in one way or another, and part of growing up is to identify what they did to you, and fix it
Yes, but just point that choice out to yourself, in your mind! Yes, I'm a semi-intelligent woman and understand these things. I get it. Yes, I get that you might perceive me as 'damaged', but how do you thing your pointing out the textbook ideas helps? Why do you think I need people I don't know to like me, to see me as emotionally stable? I'm 40. I'm not particularly vulnerable and I wasn't that damaged by my childhood: I got fat in my mid-20s after an illness and moving to Asia.
Turn it around. From your posts, I might have certain perceptions of you which you might find insulting. Would you genuinely enjoy having these assumptions made about you from what you display intellectually? You aren't that quick in conversation, you only speak four languages, you're just a lawyer or a technical writer: your parents didn't bring you up properly, you weren't read to as a child, your mother smoked during your pregnancy, you don't care about yourself enough to read three novels a week, your father didn't care about you enough to pay for a decent school, you're lazy and sit on the sofa watching TV all the time. Even if the assumptions are half true, who wants to be told they're a clear 20 IQ points off being fuckable and on what planet is that acceptable? It's acceptable to tell a woman in public that she probably has emotional problems and no self-respect or respect for her partner because she's fat.
A physical thing from which made strangers decide you had emotional damage from childhood? That's just not OK either. It's so passive aggressive and it's all about 'grading' women and controlling them, especially poorer women who are excluded from so much anyway.
Whatever you might project onto us, ultimately, it always says more about 'you' than 'me'.