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How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

A non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues

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How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Il Ðoge » 27 Aug 2015, 07:52

A lot has been written recently about the "dating apocalypse" that is usually associated with Tinder and other "hookup" apps. Even I tried Tinder at one point although I was naively expecting a real date which is starting to seem silly.

More to the point, how does one survive the dating apocalypse? A recent Vanity Fair article talked about a guy in New York who has slept with 100 women from Tinder in the past month or something. Whether you're a man or a woman, if you want to start a family or have a real relationship, it's normal to find an idea like that repulsive or threatening.

One of the best looking women I ever (like to think) I had a chance with once asked me if she could go through my phone. She scoured the whole thing, including my pictures, presumably looking for Tinder, a Tinder-like app or pictures of me with other women. Was it intrusive? I guess, but it was also smart.

That is how you survive the dating apocalypse: ask to look at someone's phone. Tell them you don't date people who have things like Tinder on their phone. If they tell you it's private or something, don't start a relationship with them. This is our reality and if you can't handle that you will be culled from the herd by 100+ Tinder hookups a month guy.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Hokwongwei » 27 Aug 2015, 10:10

Il Ðoge wrote:That is how you survive the dating apocalypse: ask to look at someone's phone.


That's an unreasonable invasion of privacy. If my wife asked to go through my phone, I'd let her. But I'd never look at her the same again, and I would still never ask the same of her.

Tinder works for people looking for flings and casual sex. That's never been me and I wouldn't be interested in anyone like that, so ... problem solved?
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby triceratopses » 27 Aug 2015, 13:49

The bad players don't use apps its much easier in person and way way less time wasted

The real problem is lack of loyalty and honesty once you're in a relationship, which is not indicated either way if you use apps to get dates or even easy sex. Some get bored of meaningless sexy very quick, or are doing it until they find someone worth stopping for.

Also its really easy for an above average guy to screw 100 girls off apps if those girls are desperate for whatever reason. It doesn't mean anything.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Ermintrude » 27 Aug 2015, 13:59

What would it 'mean' anyway? :lol:

Horses for courses. Who gives a shit?
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby triceratopses » 27 Aug 2015, 14:43

Its made to sound like tinder is the culprit, when its just the guy going for any desperate offer he gets. It would happen anywhere. Apps don't necessarily have to be used in a scumbag way
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby finley » 27 Aug 2015, 15:09

Hokwongwei wrote:
Il Ðoge wrote:That is how you survive the dating apocalypse: ask to look at someone's phone.


That's an unreasonable invasion of privacy. If my wife asked to go through my phone, I'd let her. But I'd never look at her the same again, and I would still never ask the same of her.


Too right.

All this nonsense is yet another good reason for not having a smartphone at all, IMO :)

And I have to say: before I got old and decrepit, I met some pretty interesting characters on hookup sites. Not everyone is there just to bang as many people as possible in the minimum amount of time.

One of the best looking women I ever (like to think) I had a chance with once asked me if she could go through my phone. She scoured the whole thing, including my pictures, presumably looking for Tinder, a Tinder-like app or pictures of me with other women. Was it intrusive? I guess, but it was also smart.

Meh. Who cares how good-looking she is if she's a potential stalker?
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby RickRooney » 28 Aug 2015, 11:35

I have never used tinder, why has it created a dating apocalypse?
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Tempo Gain » 28 Aug 2015, 12:13

finley wrote:All this nonsense is yet another good reason for not having a smartphone at all, IMO :)



Or keep the smartphone :)
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby kungfuken » 28 Aug 2015, 13:48

Tinder is the slighty-thicker-portion of a wedge that started with newspaper personals. It turns out sex is fun and people will voluntarily have it and invent services to facilitate it if there are no negative consequences.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Cooperations » 28 Aug 2015, 14:07

Il Ðoge wrote: Even I tried Tinder at one point although I was naively expecting a real date which is starting to seem silly.

EVEN I... so sanctimonious. Passive aggressive judgment masking itself as naivety is SO compelling :lol:
If people want to go on an app and hook up, who cares? If they want to just chat, who cares? If they want to date, who cares? How is this apocalyptic?

100 in a month certainly seems extreme, but it also seems like a totally BS urban myth. But if it's not BS, then...who cares! Good on him. Or her. I for one am pro- more people getting laid. :thumbsup:

Il Ðoge wrote:That is how you survive the dating apocalypse: ask to look at someone's phone. Tell them you don't date people who have things like Tinder on their phone. If they tell you it's private or something, don't start a relationship with them. This is our reality and if you can't handle that you will be culled from the herd by 100+ Tinder hookups a month guy.

If someone I was dating asked to scour my phone, I would assume that person is a total control freak and I would definitely not start a relationship with such a person- in fact, I would assume that person is a nutter if they assumed I could score 100 times per month based on them not letting them have access to my phone. I'm not surprised someone who asks "Prove to me you don't sleep with 100 people per month via a search of your phone" has a hard time finding dates :loco:
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