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How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

A non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues

Moderators: Tempo Gain, NonTocareLeTete

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The Dating and Relationship Forum is a non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues, including: love, romance, sex, communications, familial relationships, cultural issues, activities for couples, psychology, marriage, dating (i.e. "how to meet")

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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Mr He » 13 Nov 2015, 11:32

diakka wrote:My general feeling about Tinder and dating apps is that most of the girls I met from them were ugly. Lots of pics were photoshopped and nearly every meeting was a disappointment. Maybe only 1 in 10 girls that I met face to face could actually be considered cute, and I'm not a bad looking guy. Definitely not a model, but comfortably above average. The girls I met in daily life, on the street or events were generally much cuter, so my general feeling about these apps is that the girls on them have unrealistic expectations thus increase the likelihood a guy will directly proposition them for sex rather than pursue a serious relationship. Or maybe my problem is that I didn't photoshop my pics.

Did anyone else have the same feeling?


Although I do not have said app and would not consider installing it, I do hve something to chip in. Last time I dated, I did not know what Tinder is. I do not even know if it existed back then, so I was reduced to harvesting telephone numbers, which I happily did.

My take on it is that if you are looking for a quick roll in the hay, lower your standards. if she if female, she has a pulse and she is willing to shag, what more do you want?
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby RickRooney » 13 Nov 2015, 11:38

So what are you looking for? Are you trying to say that you cant get the good looking girls? I agree that most girls use very flattering pics on apps. I don't see the point, its only going to lead to disappointment when the reality s revealed. Welcome to asia
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby NonTocareLeTete » 13 Nov 2015, 12:37

RickRooney wrote:So what are you looking for? Are you trying to say that you cant get the good looking girls? I agree that most girls use very flattering pics on apps. I don't see the point, its only going to lead to disappointment when the reality s revealed. Welcome to asia


yeah I never understood the strategy of using overly-flattering pictures. Sure you don't want to use the worst ones, but I've heard two major complaints from other women about online dating 1) way too many messages in general and 2) way too many messages from guys only looking for sex.
My strategy has been to use only moderately attractive pics that could not in any way be considered sexy - unless you think my interests and hobbies are sexy. Problems solved, killed two birds with one stone: The guys who are only looking for sex pass me by, and there's a reduction in low-quality messages. So far, I haven't had a single "bad date" from online dating.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby diakka » 13 Nov 2015, 14:06

RickRooney wrote:So what are you looking for? Are you trying to say that you cant get the good looking girls? I agree that most girls use very flattering pics on apps. I don't see the point, its only going to lead to disappointment when the reality s revealed. Welcome to asia


Personally, yes, I'm looking for a good looking (among other good qualities) girl to be my girlfriend. It's not that I can't get one, because I have met and dated some before. In fact I met one recently on the MRT who is quite cute, and I'm optimistic that we'll become bf and gf. But looking for an exclusive girlfriend on Tinder just seemed to be a huge waste of time. So I was not able to get dates with good looking girls on Tinder, where I'm perfectly capable of it when meeting in person and I break out of my introverted shell.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby RickRooney » 13 Nov 2015, 14:26

I think its not an easy task to get a goodlooking one online due to guys. Guys are desperate. Even the average girls will be flooded with messages. The good looking ones it doesnt even bear thinking about the amount of attention they are receiving..
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby diakka » 13 Nov 2015, 15:00

RickRooney wrote:I think its not an easy task to get a goodlooking one online due to guys. Guys are desperate. Even the average girls will be flooded with messages. The good looking ones it doesnt even bear thinking about the amount of attention they are receiving..


Maybe, but this isn't mainland China where the guy/girl ratio is out of whack. I've also met a few girls from Tinder who were quite adamant about pursuing me even though I wasn't interested. I'd say they were pretty average looking. Then you move up the attractiveness scale just one or two points and you either get no response or getting her to come out for a coffee and a chat is like pulling teeth. From a guy's perspective, getting casual sex on Tinder should be a cakewalk, but finding an actual girlfriend that you'd want to be with for the long term is just an exercise in futility.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby Mr He » 13 Nov 2015, 15:04

diakka wrote:
RickRooney wrote:So what are you looking for? Are you trying to say that you cant get the good looking girls? I agree that most girls use very flattering pics on apps. I don't see the point, its only going to lead to disappointment when the reality s revealed. Welcome to asia


Personally, yes, I'm looking for a good looking (among other good qualities) girl to be my girlfriend. It's not that I can't get one, because I have met and dated some before. In fact I met one recently on the MRT who is quite cute, and I'm optimistic that we'll become bf and gf. But looking for an exclusive girlfriend on Tinder just seemed to be a huge waste of time. So I was not able to get dates with good looking girls on Tinder, where I'm perfectly capable of it when meeting in person and I break out of my introverted shell.


Hang on a minute - are you using a hook-up app to look for a girlfriend, and who knows, perhaps a future wife?

That's not right. You should look elsewhere, like off-line and get to know her before you split her lengthwise.

My wife and I dates as friends for 6 months before I even kissed her.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby RickRooney » 13 Nov 2015, 15:43

diakka wrote:
RickRooney wrote:I think its not an easy task to get a goodlooking one online due to guys. Guys are desperate. Even the average girls will be flooded with messages. The good looking ones it doesnt even bear thinking about the amount of attention they are receiving..


Maybe, but this isn't mainland China where the guy/girl ratio is out of whack. I've also met a few girls from Tinder who were quite adamant about pursuing me even though I wasn't interested. I'd say they were pretty average looking. Then you move up the attractiveness scale just one or two points and you either get no response or getting her to come out for a coffee and a chat is like pulling teeth. From a guy's perspective, getting casual sex on Tinder should be a cakewalk, but finding an actual girlfriend that you'd want to be with for the long term is just an exercise in futility.


Ok so the average ones might not get so many? You have to remember too that average here for us(westerners) is basically below average for Taiwan. Unless big googly eyes is what you go for.. But the hot ones have zillions of messages guantaneed. There is another app called skout and has a social media type feature where u can like and comment on a girls pic. All the hot ones have maxed out their likes and their photos are full of cringeworthy desperate comments that all go ignored. Its just the reality. Oh and any girl showing a bit of boob = maxed out likes guaranteed.
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby diakka » 13 Nov 2015, 16:40

Mr He wrote:Hang on a minute - are you using a hook-up app to look for a girlfriend, and who knows, perhaps a future wife?

That's not right. You should look elsewhere, like off-line and get to know her before you split her lengthwise.

My wife and I dates as friends for 6 months before I even kissed her.


I used various methods. I was even considering attending a local speed dating event, but never got around to it. But it would seem that dating apps are much more geared to producing the kinds of matches that result in hookups rather than long term relationships.

Wow! 6 months is really long, however if it results in a good long term relationship, I can't knock it.

RickRooney wrote:Ok so the average ones might not get so many? You have to remember too that average here for us(westerners) is basically below average for Taiwan.


Maybe we need to teach Western guys not to put out on the first date. :)
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Re: How to Survive Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse

Postby triceratopses » 14 Nov 2015, 05:30

diakka wrote:I'd say they were pretty average looking. Then you move up the attractiveness scale just one or two points and you either get no response or getting her to come out for a coffee and a chat is like pulling teeth.


Alas all the cute ones on there are 'active', just not with 99% of the people who contact them. They're picky and they have a large selection of lean guys who look horrible naked but good in expensive clothing.

If you're "above average looking" I don't understand why you don't go clubbing or stand in a crowded place.. girls will talk to you, and you'll know you're on the right track when people start asking to take pics with you.
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