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Trying to move on from a break up

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Trying to move on from a break up

Postby devasta » 21 Apr 2016, 10:10

I been with my ex for 8 months and we talked and text almost everyday since. I was happy with her and the bottom line she was the only girl I ever thought of marrying to because she stick with me during my tough times when I was in financial burden and among other traits that I would want as an ideal wife.

I loved her but unfortunately when she found out I been texting to other girls she broke it off with me because I shattered her trust. As she is a very insecure person to begin with and takes her longer than most to trust anyone, the first time she wanted to break up with me was when she saw my text asking a coworker for coffee during a break. I explained to her that I had no intention to meet any of these girls but she sees it as cheating.

I know I am utterly at fault and should not have done it but can't cry over spoiled milk. I 'd been trying to get back with her but she just shut me out and tells me she doesn't want to see me at all. She texted me to find someone else because she doesn't want to get hurt again and want to be just friends. At this point moving on should be a logical step but part of this predicament is that there are too much emotion involved after the times together. I am not ready to let her go and trying to figure out how can I earn her trust back.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby smileymiley » 21 Apr 2016, 10:17

I suggest you put this down to experience and move on. Unfortunately trust is one of those things that once it is gone, then it's gone for good. Even if you manage to get back with your g/friend it will not be the same as she will never trust you 100% again and this will always hang over you.

This is part of life, learn from your mistakes and move on.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby Ricarte » 21 Apr 2016, 16:33

I agree with smileysmiley. Trust is something very difficult to regain, if not impossible.

But well, maybe it was for the better. As you mentioned in another thread, she also was antissocial and didn't get along with your friends, right?

Sometimes, when we lose something, we really want to get it back, to the point we ignore (or choose to) that it also had some bad sides. Use this experience to learn more about people and cultural differences. As for the girl, it's better to move on. :2cents:
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby Ermintrude » 21 Apr 2016, 17:09

Aw, that sucks. Take care of yourself.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby dabomb_gent » 21 Apr 2016, 22:16

Stop wasting your time talking and texting with her. Go on a coffee break with your co worker.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby RickRooney » 22 Apr 2016, 13:02

texting a co worker for a coffee break is not a big deal. it might be hard now but try to see that things probably wouldn't work out in the long term if she was this jealous.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby ranlee » 22 Apr 2016, 16:19

I had similar issues when I first started seeing my gf. She was very insecure and did not like it when I talked to old/new friends that were girls.

It took some time (actually a long time) for her to get used to the fact that, I have a lot of friends that are girls, we get along, but nothing could really happen between the two of us.

I know this may be a little irrelevant, but for future reference, I noticed it really helped when she actually met the girl and gf knew she wasn't trying to get in my pants or something.

As for your current situation, I also think you gotta let go. If she's constantly blocking you out and telling you to move on, you should. Take some time for yourself, unfriend her on social media, pick up a new/old hobby, or go get some exercise. Maybe after you lay off her a little, she'll realize she lost something great and run back to you.

If it's anything you should take away from the break up is:
1. You were NOT at fault for texting a coworker. Do not blame yourself for doing something harmless.
2. Don't give your gf your phone password/key code/swype pattern/finger print/saliva/nail/eye or whatever else they use to unlock phones nowadays
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby Icon » 22 Apr 2016, 17:24

You guys know what the latest hing is among jealous girlfriends? Ther eis some kind of app they can link to your phone, basically, a GPS following device, so they know where you are -or at least, where your phone is, all the time.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby ranlee » 25 Apr 2016, 17:34

Icon wrote:You guys know what the latest hing is among jealous girlfriends? Ther eis some kind of app they can link to your phone, basically, a GPS following device, so they know where you are -or at least, where your phone is, all the time.


And what kind of bf in their right minds would sign up for something like this?

I use LINE HERE with the gf, which is GPS location tracking, but that's ONLY to maximize efficiency, so I do not have to wait for 10-15 minutes for her to get down from her office or apt when I'm picking her up via car/scooter.
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Re: Trying to move on from a break up

Postby Icon » 29 Apr 2016, 11:15

ranlee wrote:
Icon wrote:You guys know what the latest hing is among jealous girlfriends? Ther eis some kind of app they can link to your phone, basically, a GPS following device, so they know where you are -or at least, where your phone is, all the time.


And what kind of bf in their right minds would sign up for something like this?

I use LINE HERE with the gf, which is GPS location tracking, but that's ONLY to maximize efficiency, so I do not have to wait for 10-15 minutes for her to get down from her office or apt when I'm picking her up via car/scooter.


They don't. The app is set of the GFs phone -AFAIK- and somehow tracks BFs movements -the technicalities elude me but out of the corner of my eye I saw her showing it to other customers and they had already seen it in use before, so it is not something new or unusual, at least, in the Jealous Girlfriend Group.

Technology at your service. :no-no:

Personally, I think it sucks. Not to mention demeaning and insulting. But that is my point of view. The reaction at the beauty salon was so matter of factly that it was shocking. But I wonder how many people are being followed/tracked without knowing it.
Lo urgente no deja tiempo para lo importante. Mafalda.

None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.
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