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Looking for advice following divorce threat

A non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues

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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby tommy525 » 27 Apr 2016, 00:15

Many Taiwanese women mouth DIVORCE the second they are unhappy. They don't really mean it most of the time. They want you to do what they want. Many women (Taiwanese too) are controlling. They want you to know they are Da Boss. Treat her like DA Boss and things could hum along smoothly. My current wife wants to be Da Boss, I treat her like she's Da Boss and all's good. This has dis-advantages. I just left the seat to clean the cat box on her orders (NOW she says) and I am to bring her lunch at 1pm . Day off today but like yesterday she has set a few things on the honey-to-do list. But hey, If I want what I want, I need to do what she wants too. That's marriage, finding ways to work things out.

There are couples though that simply are not working out and should separate. My first wife and I were of this variety. We were/are better off without each other. Sad but true.

I am sure it will become clear if your wife means it or not.

*As an aside to above poster who said wife wants another kid and you have been married ten years, I would venture to say, she does not mean it- the divorce thing* YOu may need to treat her more like Da Boss. My wife even orders my cat around. And he is indeed smart. He does what she wants. Cuz he knows FOOD comes when he obeys.
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby Focus » 05 May 2016, 14:09

Though I don't totally know your situation,

Apparently, a huuuge percentage of divorce causing factors originate from ill-sentiments towards unfulfilled sexual desires. So if you two weren't keeping that wonderful energy alive before, now could be a good moment to stoke the fire :2cents:
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby kungfuken » 10 May 2016, 09:06

tommy525 wrote:Many Taiwanese women mouth DIVORCE the second they are unhappy. They don't really mean it most of the time. They want you to do what they want. Many women (Taiwanese too) are controlling. They want you to know they are Da Boss. Treat her like DA Boss and things could hum along smoothly. My current wife wants to be Da Boss, I treat her like she's Da Boss and all's good. This has dis-advantages. I just left the seat to clean the cat box on her orders (NOW she says) and I am to bring her lunch at 1pm . Day off today but like yesterday she has set a few things on the honey-to-do list. But hey, If I want what I want, I need to do what she wants too. That's marriage, finding ways to work things out.

There are couples though that simply are not working out and should separate. My first wife and I were of this variety. We were/are better off without each other. Sad but true.

I am sure it will become clear if your wife means it or not.

*As an aside to above poster who said wife wants another kid and you have been married ten years, I would venture to say, she does not mean it- the divorce thing* YOu may need to treat her more like Da Boss. My wife even orders my cat around. And he is indeed smart. He does what she wants. Cuz he knows FOOD comes when he obeys.


You make marriage sound awful. "How to be successful in marriage: Surrender your free will, along with your wallet." Even if you're just pantomiming happy obedience, that doesn't sound like a good way to live.
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby RickRooney » 10 May 2016, 12:00

Tommy does it the Asian way.
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby kungfuken » 11 May 2016, 08:52

RickRooney wrote:Tommy does it the Asian way.


No wonder everyone works late and goes to SE Asia for 'business trips'!
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby nonredneck » 11 May 2016, 12:27

kungfuken wrote:You make marriage sound awful. "How to be successful in marriage: Surrender your free will, along with your wallet." Even if you're just pantomiming happy obedience, that doesn't sound like a good way to live.


Isn't that the Asian way of marriage? Obey your wife or else?
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby Zla'od » 11 May 2016, 13:06

Well, I don't have to OBEY my wife--not exactly--but I should really think long and hard before I DISOBEY!

But seriously, every couple has to find their own balance. Or not.
“What part of a woman is the yet, anyway? I heard there was a fight here in Tulsa, and a woman was shot in the fracas. The doc said the bullet is in her yet. And how did the bullet get in her yet, when she was shot in the fracas?"
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby Icon » 11 May 2016, 14:42

Marriage is the epitome of the art of compromose.

Just like having roomates, some people do feel that dishes must be washed before the sink sprouts its own ecosystem. Same with the garbage: throw it out before it walks out on its own.

Someone sent me a cute thinghie in Chinese referring to what your wife is not: she is not your mother, your servant, your caregiver when you get old, your bank, and many other stuff some non thinking types take for granted. I think the same with men: a man is not an emotional rock, a bank, a chauffer, a mechanic and Mr. Fix a lott. Treat each other as a unique person, not "what they are suppossed to be". Collaborate to have a functioning home and a functioning life. Be happy and make sure that your happiness is not at the cost of someone else's pain. Love and be loved.
Lo urgente no deja tiempo para lo importante. Mafalda.

None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby tommy525 » 11 May 2016, 15:28

kungfuken wrote:
tommy525 wrote:Many Taiwanese women mouth DIVORCE the second they are unhappy. They don't really mean it most of the time. They want you to do what they want. Many women (Taiwanese too) are controlling. They want you to know they are Da Boss. Treat her like DA Boss and things could hum along smoothly. My current wife wants to be Da Boss, I treat her like she's Da Boss and all's good. This has dis-advantages. I just left the seat to clean the cat box on her orders (NOW she says) and I am to bring her lunch at 1pm . Day off today but like yesterday she has set a few things on the honey-to-do list. But hey, If I want what I want, I need to do what she wants too. That's marriage, finding ways to work things out.

There are couples though that simply are not working out and should separate. My first wife and I were of this variety. We were/are better off without each other. Sad but true.

I am sure it will become clear if your wife means it or not.

*As an aside to above poster who said wife wants another kid and you have been married ten years, I would venture to say, she does not mean it- the divorce thing* YOu may need to treat her more like Da Boss. My wife even orders my cat around. And he is indeed smart. He does what she wants. Cuz he knows FOOD comes when he obeys.


You make marriage sound awful. "How to be successful in marriage: Surrender your free will, along with your wallet." Even if you're just pantomiming happy obedience, that doesn't sound like a good way to live.



Yup. But there are benefits. Drawbacks a plenty but benefits too. As long as you have a partner that you can work with.

I'm new at this marriage thing myself. So far what's good outweighs whats bad.
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Re: Looking for advice following divorce threat

Postby kungfuken » 14 May 2016, 17:40

tommy525 wrote:Yup. But there are benefits. Drawbacks a plenty but benefits too. As long as you have a partner that you can work with.

I'm new at this marriage thing myself. So far what's good outweighs whats bad.


Don't get me wrong old boy, I'm a fox complaining about sour grapes over here. ;)
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Mastered ordering "beer" in Chinese (jīngtōng le yòng Guóyǔ shuō "píjiǔ")
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