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How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

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How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby mister4to1 » 18 Jun 2016, 12:20

We think the time is right, but I am not sure of the culture here. Are there any customs I must do?

On a side note, does anyone have any advice on how to make ease her parents concerns about her moving to USA with me?


Thank you!
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby RickRooney » 18 Jun 2016, 15:44

I don't envy u
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby Gryphon » 18 Jun 2016, 20:05

mister4to1 wrote:We think the time is right, but I am not sure of the culture here. Are there any customs I must do?

On a side note, does anyone have any advice on how to make ease her parents concerns about her moving to USA with me?


Thank you!


To show you are serious and a good potential mate with the ability to provide for their daughter, bring NTD 2,000,000 for the "bride price".
Tell her parents you will prepare a room for them so they can visit anytime they want. Also, make sure you are moving to a "safe" neighborhood. If you can show them crime statistics for the city you are moving to, perhaps that may help.
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby Zla'od » 18 Jun 2016, 23:00

Seranade the whole family with a song symbolizing your love.
“What part of a woman is the yet, anyway? I heard there was a fight here in Tulsa, and a woman was shot in the fracas. The doc said the bullet is in her yet. And how did the bullet get in her yet, when she was shot in the fracas?"
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby Chris » 19 Jun 2016, 00:19

I'd recommend asking your girlfriend for advice, as she knows her parents best.
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby hsinhai78 » 19 Jun 2016, 02:33

mister4to1 wrote:We think the time is right, but I am not sure of the culture here. Are there any customs I must do?

On a side note, does anyone have any advice on how to make ease her parents concerns about her moving to USA with me?


Thank you!


You should not care about the local culture or the approval of the parents in law. If the two of you feel this is the right time and you both intend on moving to the United States, there is nothing the parents in law can do or say to stop this from happening. So make sure you two have the financial means to do it without support. Ultimately there is nothing reasonable you can do to ease your in-laws' concerns. Do not give them bride money!
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby ranlee » 20 Jun 2016, 15:35

hsinhai78 wrote:
mister4to1 wrote:We think the time is right, but I am not sure of the culture here. Are there any customs I must do?

On a side note, does anyone have any advice on how to make ease her parents concerns about her moving to USA with me?


Thank you!


You should not care about the local culture or the approval of the parents in law. If the two of you feel this is the right time and you both intend on moving to the United States, there is nothing the parents in law can do or say to stop this from happening. So make sure you two have the financial means to do it without support. Ultimately there is nothing reasonable you can do to ease your in-laws' concerns. Do not give them bride money!


OP, you possibly came to the wrong place to ask this because you'll get about 90% smirky replies, but hsinhai78 has the right advice about the situation.

I've read enough threads and replies here to know that you shouldn't need the approval of your future in-laws to marry their daughter. You have to ask yourself, if they disapprove, are the two of you just going to call it off and go your separate ways?

Key is not needing their support financially because if you do, then you'll just marry into their family and also inherit their issues because the parents think they own you since they have paid for your wedding, house, car, dog, cat or curved TV.
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby downtownandrew » 20 Jun 2016, 15:47

Hopefully you get lucky as I, and her parents dont give a fly fuck about traditions and all that.

Didnt pay a dowry, though my parents were convinced that would part of the deal... it was never ever even brought up, and if it is to you... Audi5000 out of there.
Parents are looking at you for compensation... f'that.

East vrs. West. expect issues on paying for wedding possibly. Her dad should, really.

If you meet resistance and still want to go through with it...


HERE is the big bull in the china shop issue:

get your greencard issues straightened out now.. start your I-130 and g-325 NOW here, since its way cheaper and faster. IF you do this in the USA... she cannot work.. legally until her paperwork is complete. Can you handle 1 income in the USA?

BTW, you do know that it is technically a 10-year contract with the US government that you can afford to support this woman.. if shit goes south and she drops you... guess what.. she stays in the USA on your dime.. YOU are paying her welfare not the USA government.

Thats if you make it through that whole process. Dont mean to scare you but these are facts.

I had my wedding here, it was way cheaper than in the USA.. though your opinion about how much and how important this day is may vary. For us.. me and my wife.. we both agreed it was just to make other people happy. We are madly in love. Good luck, again, just hope her family is sane.

Expect the worst, hope for the best.

I showed her father the ring and spoke my intentions... just basically explained it as to her father "I am going to be around for the rest of your life.. if you dont want me around you / your daughter you need to speak up now or we will both be miserable..." to her dad.

He said "doesnt matter you two love each other thats all that matters." I didnt have to explain my earning potential, or pie charts, and give references. Unless he is a real asshole, he will just get it and accept it. If he really does say "Nope" to you... do you really NEED his approval?

His own personal experience was his wife - her family was bat shit crazy with the traditions and fortune tellers and all that.. and he got pissed off about it and could relate to me. Guy is a bro. Good luck.
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby tango42 » 21 Jun 2016, 05:33

Not everyone in Taiwan follows the same customs. Some still want money/dowry, some don't. A key point is to show that you have the means to support her. Better just leave it up to the girl to give you advice on how to manage, and then maybe add some of you own culture into the mix.

It's not really part of the culture to ask the parents. Many Taiwanese these days do the marriage paperwork first and then notify others (including parents) months, sometimes years later and then start planning the wedding dinner to make notice to the public.
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Re: How do I ask my girlfriends parents if we could get married?

Postby Chris » 22 Jun 2016, 10:39

Dowries and bride-prices aren't part of traditional Chinese culture anyway.
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