Before i begin, I would just like to say hi to all members on this forum. I am a newbie on formosa looking for advice on general "how to meet"/"how to date". My background is somewhat complicated, long story short, I am in the grey area between foreign and local. In other words, I am neither the "typical foreigner" nor being considered as "local"; the reason being that i m Asian background with varied( wouldn't say western) education and cultures (been moving from country to country). ABC not sure if that's how you call it, in spite the fact that i wasn't born overseas I was migrated abroad young enough (at elementary school age) to be considered one by local populace and westerners alike. I retain some of my heritage and that includes being able to speak Chinese, knowing how to get by on day to day basis, but totally clueless when it comes to interacting with others. Especially when dealing with the more subtle aspect of human interaction.
So here it is, I don't know how to date and had absolutely no idea where to begin. In Taiwan, I've tried to attend events and groups to get to know people with the expectation of possibly finding a date. To no avail, I've never succeed in any of my endeavours. I would ask the girls out by inviting them(one on one of course) for lunch/dinner/nights out/anything but then the response has always been the same line"sorry I must go have lunch with my friends"/"sorry I don't feel like going out today", very disappointing, the same applies to foreign girls as well, some will have the made up boyfriends I've never seen in person (I know some do), presumably they don't otherwise I would've notice and hear them discussing about the guy without stalking people and i m not a creepy stalker, I don't doubt the credibility of some claims but why lie. Or sometimes we exchanged contact such as facebook and LINE and the girl was never heard again, other times the girls will just have excuses like their phone isn't working they can't use LINE et cetera. Always left me out in a group event and later on found them posting their pictures of happy times going to the beach or camping somewhere together on facebook on the days where they're supposedly busy. I sometimes actively want to get involved and succeed one or two times but was too embarrassed for that to be a norm; it is hard to join a clique.
To make it clear, i m all for the locals girls or foreign girls due to the fact that i can't find any I always keep my options open and drop my standards as well. This reminds me in Europe, my friends tried their best to help by including me in many festivals and Friday nights parties at the local disco. We've been to places that's easy enough to meet with the opposite sex and known for fast pickup. Problem is, as the same throughout my highschool years, no girls were willing to spend time with me, as soon as I say hi the nice one would return my greeting and move on with the conversation lasting no more than 30 seconds before they fled (figuratively speaking), the mean one were not even bothered to respond but walked away instantly and i can tell that i m being seen as inferior. I might be wrong though. My friends almost always ended up with someone even just a night stand and i m left wondering what went wrong.
Now people may say you need to be proactive in pursuing girls and not let any chance slip through, you just have to approach them and talk, anything would do. This is where I think I haven't done wrong. Also I do understand to respect boundaries and not appearing to be desperate and pushy although deep down sometimes I am burning with fire; nevertheless, how can a guy who has never date find the right balance? Please don't compare me to regular men who are regularly having his needs met because if you have all you need you would never be desperate, most likely you'd take it for granted; therefore I am desperate i admit it. AM a guy in his mid 20s what else can he expect? Of course there are many things to do to temporarily take my mind off these negative sentiment but not being able to have a someone or worst having a sex life is truly disheartening. Especially when you don't know what went wrong. the loneliness is unbearable!! It all got worse on the day when i see guys taking their gals dressed up provocatively in tight short on scooters. Built up testosterone + gals with hotpants = the Worse thing a man has to endure.
Please Don't recommend me dating sites. I had already spent a fortune on dating sites without the desired effect. For example, paid a tenth of monthly wages to upgrade to premium membership but still no body would respond to my text and if they do say "hi/hey" they either blocked or ignore me from their profile soon enough.
i m not an ass by the way.
I hope this is not an offensive thread. Sorry I can't explain the whole thing without explicitly describing it. If you're offended or sensitive please forgive me for my unintentional sin. i m genuine. Hoping there's someone, preferably also an ABC (doesn't matter if you are not one) who's been there in similar situation can help me unveil this strange phenomenon because as much as I don't like to pull the race card and cause unnecessary tension among us I think race is the deal breaker. Or simply my background is putting me at a distinct disadvantage. I know from experience that Asian males are considered unattractive in the western eyes and the stereotype associated with being a china man are all too apparent. What about here? In Asia, it can't be the same thing, isn't it? How do the local guys get women? do i honestly have to get a heavily modified scooter to be cool? How? Is it different criteria with same high standard that's difficult/impossible to match? Advice on how you overcome the problems would be appreciated but not things like dress up accordingly, be positive, use deodorant, right timing, be nice, just talk to them, etc. such common tips is no use at all. I need some insight on this one please and thanks for reading.