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Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

A non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues

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The Dating and Relationship Forum is a non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues, including: love, romance, sex, communications, familial relationships, cultural issues, activities for couples, psychology, marriage, dating (i.e. "how to meet")

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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby the bear » 22 Jul 2016, 10:30

Basically we is dealing with the 40 y/o virgin here. In that movie it was emphatically proved that leading horses to water doesn't work. The guy is probably terminally uncool, there's no cure for that except finding a girl equally uncool.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby hansioux » 22 Jul 2016, 11:12

Honestly, I have no clue how to pick up girls at clubs, pubs or festivals either. Maybe some people just aren't comfortable in those types of situations, or girls who go to those types of places aren't exactly looking for people like us.

My solution is to find new things and new places outside of your usual routine and comfort zone to go and do that you would enjoy. Do group activities where you'd have a chance to interact with strangers your same age. Go on trips on your own, or with a few buddies. Go on a kayaking group tour on the east coast or something like that. I tend to find it easier to mingle with people I met for the first time in those settings. Compared to not know what to do in a bar or club, and generally not having fun, but forcing yourself to go only for the sake of meeting friends, it's like a 100% improvement.

That's just me though.
Don't confuse me with your reasonableness.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby sewersquid » 22 Jul 2016, 16:02

Image

Seriously...
Negative aura only attracts negative ones.
Do what you comfortable at, and by chance, you'll meet someone there.

If you are an active sportsman, don't try to get girls from library.
The girls will notice your awkwardness with books.

If you can't handle car traffic because of chronic car-sick, don't try to impress her by going around town with car.
You're gonna get car-sick and possibly puke which never gonna impress the girl.
Go ride a bike on bike path instead.

If you can't handle summer outdoor activity, don't go out on mid daylight in Taipei's summer.
You're gonna get heatstroke and surely won't impress her.
Try cafe instead.

I don't think local scene of bar/nightclubs are good to get girls for a typical man.
Unless of course, you look strikingly un-local.
Being a typical Asian without Chinese skills, I usually have difficulties even getting interaction with any person in the club (m/f/local/foreign).

Some of my successful ask-a-girl-to-go-out invitations in Taiwan.
1. Free tickets for a football game (better be a decent game in a real stadium, not some crappy highschoolers play kicks)
I think it works for musical concert or other more upscale event as well. But you need to spend (first) for this one, by buying the tickets.
2. Hiking (don't ever try this on summer!)
3. If the girl is a local, you could pretend have no clue about Chinese, and ask her for a help dealing with things that need to be done using Chinese... say making a visa photo for applying US-visa in one of the local photo shops.
4. Foreign girl more complicated, but bit flirty jokes comes handy when trying to get attention from social media.
5. I can't help you with feminists, though. They are the toughest nut to crack, usually ends with them making bad words at me.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby NonTocareLeTete » 28 Jul 2016, 08:28

hansioux wrote:Honestly, I have no clue how to pick up girls at clubs, pubs or festivals either. Maybe some people just aren't comfortable in those types of situations, or girls who go to those types of places aren't exactly looking for people like us.

My solution is to find new things and new places outside of your usual routine and comfort zone to go and do that you would enjoy. Do group activities where you'd have a chance to interact with strangers your same age. Go on trips on your own, or with a few buddies. Go on a kayaking group tour on the east coast or something like that. I tend to find it easier to mingle with people I met for the first time in those settings. Compared to not know what to do in a bar or club, and generally not having fun, but forcing yourself to go only for the sake of meeting friends, it's like a 100% improvement.

That's just me though.



Hansioux for the win!

This is what works for me too. I hate being in high pressure situations where I have to decide immediately whether I'm going to get romantic with someone before I know them well. Joining activities like the ones Hansioux mentioned help me to get to know people, get to know how we work together while doing an activity, and allow that delicious attraction to build before putting any pressure on one of us to make a move (or reject a move). I also think it's a better way to meet someone for a long-term thing.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 11:42

Purple Heart wrote:You're trying too hard and are probably coming across as desperate (which you admit you are).

Take a step back and try to look at your happiness like a hierarhcy.

Step 1, do you have a good and secure place to live? Yes
Step 2, are you in a decent job/education path right now? Well, almost. Quit my job at a private school and is moving on to a new job.
Step 3, do you have varied and interesting hobbies that you actively participate in? I work out regularly besides my sport of boxing. Are there even boxing in Taiwan? Competition?
Step 4, do you have any friends in your area? (Step 2 can help with this) Nope. Not the slightest clue on even how to meet anybudy

Then finally when you have your shit together, can you think about Step 5 and meeting a girl.

You're placing your entire happiness in the fate of women, which is wrong. I am married now but that doesn't mean that I stopped having hobbies, friends etc, because meeting a girl isn't the be all and end all.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 11:46

Gryphon wrote:I agree with Purple Heart. Desperation is negative. It has the exact opposite effect of confidence. Desperation repels women. That is what is wrong with you. Furthermore, your desperation makes you sound obsessed with getting into a relationship. If you can't overcome your desperation, once in a relationship, you may become controlling and codependent because fear of losing the relationship will take over. And believe me, it doesn't feel good to be in that kind of relationship. Stop focusing so hard on "getting a girl". Focus on your hobbies. Join clubs related to your hobbies. You will meet new people. You may even find the love of your life. But for the love of all that is right and holy, don't try to pick up girls if you are currently desperate.



Sure mate. Appreciate the feedback.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 11:49

headhonchoII wrote:He could also have a giant wart on the end of his nose and fondness for oversized horn rimmed glasses. Or it could be body odour.
Sometimes you got to give people the straight answer. I once had a first and only date with a hot French chick whose breath STANK of garlic. That shit can work in France or Taiwan but not where I"m from. Game over. :ohreally:

Only kidding with ya OP..but seriously you need to work all the angle get somebody to help ya out with a makeover.


Holy shit... that's funny. anyway you've made my day.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 11:50

tommy525 wrote:Girls are like cats, let them come to YOU.


miew miew
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 11:53

RickRooney wrote:agree with andrew, think you need to learn game or how to be a pickup artist or something like that. although I think those guys are pretty lame and have a ton of issues, it seems good for people who are completely useless with women to at least learn some basics.

I don't think you are going to get much help from here. seems you need specific attention.



i m not expecting much help from here: over the internet, where people can't even see each other. The point is the forum is at least a good place to find some decent advice that would otherwise be impossible to obtain from workplace, real life etc. Especially people tend to speak their mind when on the internet so i assume.
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Re: Here is my story and I need honest feedbacks

Postby Lepetitchinois » 28 Jul 2016, 12:00

Andrew0409 wrote:
RickRooney wrote:agree with andrew, think you need to learn game or how to be a pickup artist or something like that. although I think those guys are pretty lame and have a ton of issues, it seems good for people who are completely useless with women to at least learn some basics.

I don't think you are going to get much help from here. seems you need specific attention.


I'm not by any means a pick up artist, and I'm not going to teach you just so you can go out and pick up women and get laid. What I'm offering is how to be a better man that will attract not just women, but people around you. If you to make a change in your life, I'm willing to help. It's really hard to help you without seeing you and what you do in real life. And I don't have time to write a novel on it.



Think he's right. I am not about to try and get laid but the thing is how do you meet people and establish a social circle of your own here? Most of the time, I only have male friends while females often comes in short supply. I once listen to a friend who suggest me to look up on dating site only to get fed up with transexuals disguised as women, yak.
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