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With many of us living in crosscultural relationships I'd be interested in hearing about the areas of contention...for wifey and i the biggest bone of contention is definitely the AC (I like it to be cold!)
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Mayor Ma. I think he's a class act, she thinks he's the devil incarnate.
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for me the biggest issue is the job - we work together and deal with some very difficult people everyday, (I hope to heaven your job is easier than mine!) and that means that I often take those stresses home with us at the end of the day. My wife is much more placid and seems less ruffled by the whole thing which is a point of friction inevitably. But I suspect that this is hardly cross cultural . On that front, I would say that my biggest moans to date and over the years have been:
early years: too possessive / clingy /tantrumy (like so many young girls learn to be from KTV vids) and never making a decision, always "suibien ni"
later years: different opinions about how to raise kids and
never seeing eye to eye with her family(this was a difficult one - who wants to force choices on a wife like it is me or your family but sometimes...)
those are what spring to mind.
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(1) Family. She's lived with hers since forever, and obeys her parents. Perhaps after we're married, she'll obey me instead! Meanwhile I come from a culture which values independence, and a family which would rather not live with each other!
Add to this all the weird quirks that we have to live with more often thanks to all this togetherness. (My culture encourages us to avoid farting at the table, except perhaps during the Super Bowl.)
(2) Long-term planning, especially aspects which bring out disagreements over the level of our long-term attachment to, and confidence in, Taiwan. For example, I insist on keeping the bulk of my savings in other currencies, in other countries. She's offended by the implications of that.
And other stuff which is the same as couples argue about everywhere.
Lama Ding Dong
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How a hangover does actually excuse me from: a) dropping in on her folks and brothers to see the baby, eat and gawk at that wanker Jacky Wu - all the while refusing offers of Kaoliang; b) accepting sudden translation projects on the intricasies of afortementioned brothers printing business; and c) basically anthing that will perpetuate my pain - usually any all Chinese affair with blinding fluoros burning into the soul.
To be fair she's never actually had a hangover...perhaps if I remedied that...
Huang Guang Chen
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Current bone of contention is why I should use the zebra crossings when I know they are fakes (since noone will stop while I'm trying to use them). When a pedestrian I ignore them and when driving I respect them, she hates me 'jaywalking'.... but approves of the latter. I can't see the point in walking half a k down the street to cross on a zebra that doesn't work. Small matter, sounds like I have it pretty easy really.
She doesn't like it much when I go get wasted with her dad, but mostly because she thinks I'm leading _him_ astray
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Mark0938 wrote:With many of us living in crosscultural relationships I'd be interested in hearing about the areas of contention...for wifey and i the biggest bone of contention is definitely the AC (I like it to be cold!)
My wife thinks the AC makes you get old and causes wrinkles (in the skin). She likes a hard board to sleep on and I like a super soft mattress.
But for arguments, she mostly gets pissed if I leer too long lustfully at lovely lasses.
As it is, we seem to regard it as a positive objection to a reasoner that he has taken one side or the other. We regard it (in other words) as a positive objection to a reasoner that he has contrived to reach the object of his reasoning. We call a man a bigot or a slave of dogma because he is a thinker who has thought thoroughly and to a definite end.
From: All Things Considered - The Error of Impartiality
- Guan Yin (Guānyīn)
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Mark0938 wrote:But for arguments, she mostly gets pissed if I leer too long lustfully at lovely lasses.
Mine points them out to me! "Ohmygodlookatatthem--they're huge!"
But then again she makes me watch Super Sunday, so it's not all roses.
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tigerman wrote:My wife... likes a hard board to sleep on and I like a super soft mattress.
Dang, it's the opposite problem chez Maoman. Maybe we should trade?
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The volume on the telly. I like to be actually able to hear what people are saying.
The resting position of the on-chain plug in the bathroom sink. Hung over the taps, or over the side of the bowl.
The correct operation of the electric immersion heater and the precise time it needs to be on to provide enough water for a proper bath.
Whether there is anything wrong with lying on the sofa rather than sitting on it.
The necessity to always hold a plate under potentially crumbly items of food as if 5 years of age.
Whether or not shopping is best done on a Saturday afternoon.
Whether an Omega or Cartier wristwatch is a more desirable present and whether the topic is worth discussing at all given the retail prices of the respective models in question.
Whether or not I do fancy every single Chinese girl under the sun without exception.
- Almost a God (jīhū shì shén)
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A woman calls the nursing home to see how her dad is doing.
'He's like a fish out of water.'
'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?'
'No, I mean he's dead.'
-- MIKE CLOSE