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Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

A non-threatening place for individuals and couples living in Taiwan to discuss dating and relationship issues

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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby ImaniOU » 25 May 2009, 16:06

I find that in Taiwan, more than back home, people are extremely hung up on looks. Not just the locals, but the expats as well. That people are quick to judge the value of a person (and their dateability) on sight alone and after that test passes, then do they move on to actually find out if that person has a compatable personality and/or interests and hobbies. Some never move onto that stage or do more than a cursory evaluation before hopping into bed or proposing marriage with said party.

If you don't have a picture on a dating ad, the first thing people assume is that it's because you're ugly rather than that it's because you don't want them to evaluate you what you are before they even find out who you are.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby tommy525 » 25 May 2009, 16:08

The very same here in the bay area too.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby zender » 25 May 2009, 16:11

ImaniOU wrote:I find that in Taiwan, more than back home, people are extremely hung up on looks. Not just the locals, but the expats as well. That people are quick to judge the value of a person (and their dateability) on sight alone and after that test passes, then do they move on to actually find out if that person has a compatable personality and/or interests and hobbies. Some never move onto that stage or do more than a cursory evaluation before hopping into bed or proposing marriage with said party. . .


Yes.

This worked to my advantage in the past . . . when I was younger . . . and better looking.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby CraigTPE » 25 May 2009, 17:17

ImaniOU wrote:I find that in Taiwan, more than back home, people are extremely hung up on looks.

On what planet is this not the case?

I'm not saying it's right, but it is reality anywhere I've ever been. At the risk of being politically incorrect and appearing totally shallow, looks matter, whether we want to admit it or not. I don't find it's any more prevalent here than anywhere else. I think it was most intense when I lived on Miami Beach, but I think that is what happens when most people are running around half naked.
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Re: Let's not kid ourselves

Postby Knowle West » 26 May 2009, 21:55

Unless you're in a culture that practices arranged marriages:

Women who are not attracted to their man will not have a happy relationship, if any at all.

Men who are not attracted to their woman will not have a happy relationship, if any at all.

It's not being shallow. And yes I do believe personality is more important. But you do not want your signifcant other saying 'well you're not that attractive but your personality (or wallet) turn me on.' So let's get off of our soapboxes pls.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby steelersman » 26 May 2009, 22:10

It's not being shallow. And yes I do believe personality is more important. But you do not want your signifcant other saying 'well you're not that attractive but your personality (or wallet) turn me on.' So let's get off of our soapboxes pls.


While I am sure this is how many people view life. Is that really any worse than the opposite? Oh hunny you have a hot bod and I love to do it with you in bed but the rest of the time just shut up please because you are annoying.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby rocky raccoon » 27 May 2009, 00:45

Knowle West wrote:It's not being shallow. And yes I do believe personality is more important. But you do not want your signifcant other saying 'well you're not that attractive but your personality (or wallet) turn me on.' So let's get off of our soapboxes pls.


Yep...just look at the mother/father because that's what your SO will turn into. Either that or a pumpkin at midnight I forgot.

steelersman wrote:Oh hunny you have a hot bod and I love to do it with you in bed but the rest of the time just shut up please because you are annoying.


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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby sydneydave » 27 May 2009, 07:00

"If you don't have a picture on a dating ad, the first thing people assume is that it's because you're ugly rather than that it's because you don't want them to evaluate you what you are before they even find out who you are."

Having tried online dating (*hangs my head in shame*) I can say in most cases if you don't have a pic you're meh (but then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder..someone out there will find you hot). Physical attraction comes first. Half the world's population is female theres not enough time to get to know everyone.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby Knowle West » 27 May 2009, 09:34

steelersman wrote:While I am sure this is how many people view life. Is that really any worse than the opposite? Oh hunny you have a hot bod and I love to do it with you in bed but the rest of the time just shut up please because you are annoying.



It's not being shallow. And yes I do believe personality is more important. But you do not want your signifcant other saying 'well you're not that attractive but your personality (or wallet) turn me on.' Furthermore, it helps if you can also stand their personality for a long peroid of time. So let's get off of our soapboxes pls.


LOL Fixed.
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Re: Opinions on expat men in TW? What can I expect?

Postby Quentin » 30 May 2009, 23:33

Sexual attraction is at least 50% of any relationship. So it's not "shallow" to factor in sexual attraction as a factor in whom you decide to pursue a relationship with. This is a person that you, ideally, will have to go to bed with every night for the rest of your life. If it's not someone that turns you on....well, the divorce rate is well over 50%, ain't it?

.......................

I don't see what the fuss here is about. Every single attractive white or black girl I've seen in Taiwan has had no share of her suitors. I know a trio of lovely, but in the great scheme of things, average-looking white girls from Canada who hang out in certain bars in Tainan and have a great time every weekend being hit on by tons of Taiwanese barflys. The last time I had a silly schoolboy crush on a girl here in Taiwan, she was a white Canadian and every time I tried to approach her she had a swarm of Canadian guys swerving around her. I really didn't have much of a chance with that much competition.

I know plenty of guys who will only date white girls. A mutual friend of mine and Bismark's, for example, who has been here for over 5 years and never dated a single Taiwanese girl at all, and has now settled into a relationship with a nice girl from his home country (SA).

The other point, that I think several other guys brought up, is this: what's the percentages?

I honestly prefer women from my own culture that I can actually talk to and that I have some things compatible with personality wise. But guess what? How many of those girls constitute the population of Taiwan? Less than .00001%? Yep. The locals constitue 99.999% of the population. Start dating the locals.
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