nfsugtu wrote:So, I've been dating a Taiwanese girl for a little over two years. The first moment we saw each other I knew we would be together: love at first sight. I didn't know much about the Taiwanese culture before I met her. It was only after we met that I started to learn (and read) about their culture. Bottom line: very different expectations. We had fights over money, disagreements about what we say to each other and how we interpret our conversations. Eventually, we established a confident level such that we know what we are talking about and how we feel. As time went by our relationship got very serious. At first we planned that I finish my college degree in the U.S.. She wants to stay in Taiwan because she is the only child and has no one in the U.S. (except me). Being in medicine and not fluent in Chinese, the only possible career for me in Taiwan is teaching. So, in order to be with her I changed my major to teaching from physical therapy. Just recently, we decided that after I teach for a year in Taiwan, I will probably pursue a master degree in teaching English to further expand our possibilities. About two months ago I hired a private Chinese tutor who teaches in ㄅㄆㄇㄈ because that is the method still used in most Chinese language schools in Taiwan. I've been diligently studying Chinese and working hard with my tutor to learn as much as I can before I go there to teach and leave everything behind just to be with her. All she does is work. Now that you know the story let me lead on to the issue.
I begin to question her seriousness very recently when we had a small dispute about my Chinese language study. It all begin when I asked her to help me practice. At first I asked her once a week. But then I realized that I need more practice. So I asked her to help me practice at least three times a week. It's not that she doesn't have time: she come home from work around 6Pm M-F and is off weekends. The timing works out for me. And guess what her reply was? Here is what she said: "You're expecting too much" ...
When I heard that I seriously asked myself if she A) just doesn't want to help me or B) is too easy going and just doesn't care how much I learn?
What do you think?
housecat wrote:Having been there and done that, as both the language teacher and the language learner in a relationship, I can say that you are possibly asking too much. And you're possibly thinking too much, too.
Hire a tutor. Let your girl friend be your girl friend.
Mother Theresa wrote:No offense intended, but you call that a man?
Changing his major and career plans and busting his butt to learn Chinese for her. . .
Mucha Man wrote:Most long term couples you talk to will tell you that SO make lousy teaching partners. Also, to be perfectly honest, young Taiwanese women can be extremely selfish about being helpful. Doesn't mean they don't love you. Just background and culture.