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Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

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Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby nfsugtu » 23 Apr 2010, 13:13

So, I've been dating a Taiwanese girl for a little over two years. The first moment we saw each other I knew we would be together: love at first sight. I didn't know much about the Taiwanese culture before I met her. It was only after we met that I started to learn (and read) about their culture. Bottom line: very different expectations. We had fights over money, disagreements about what we say to each other and how we interpret our conversations. Eventually, we established a confident level such that we know what we are talking about and how we feel. As time went by our relationship got very serious. At first we planned that I finish my college degree in the U.S.. She wants to stay in Taiwan because she is the only child and has no one in the U.S. (except me). Being in medicine and not fluent in Chinese, the only possible career for me in Taiwan is teaching. So, in order to be with her I changed my major to teaching from physical therapy. Just recently, we decided that after I teach for a year in Taiwan, I will probably pursue a master degree in teaching English to further expand our possibilities. About two months ago I hired a private Chinese tutor who teaches in ㄅㄆㄇㄈ because that is the method still used in most Chinese language schools in Taiwan. I've been diligently studying Chinese and working hard with my tutor to learn as much as I can before I go there to teach and leave everything behind just to be with her. All she does is work. Now that you know the story let me lead on to the issue.

I begin to question her seriousness very recently when we had a small dispute about my Chinese language study. It all begin when I asked her to help me practice. At first I asked her once a week. But then I realized that I need more practice. So I asked her to help me practice at least three times a week. It's not that she doesn't have time: she come home from work around 6Pm M-F and is off weekends. The timing works out for me. And guess what her reply was? Here is what she said: "You're expecting too much" ...

When I heard that I seriously asked myself if she A) just doesn't want to help me or B) is too easy going and just doesn't care how much I learn?

What do you think?
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby housecat » 23 Apr 2010, 13:20

Having been there and done that, as both the language teacher and the language learner in a relationship, I can say that you are possibly asking too much. And you're possibly thinking too much, too.

Hire a tutor. Let your girl friend be your girl friend.
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby Namahottie » 23 Apr 2010, 13:22

nfsugtu wrote:So, I've been dating a Taiwanese girl for a little over two years. The first moment we saw each other I knew we would be together: love at first sight. I didn't know much about the Taiwanese culture before I met her. It was only after we met that I started to learn (and read) about their culture. Bottom line: very different expectations. We had fights over money, disagreements about what we say to each other and how we interpret our conversations. Eventually, we established a confident level such that we know what we are talking about and how we feel. As time went by our relationship got very serious. At first we planned that I finish my college degree in the U.S.. She wants to stay in Taiwan because she is the only child and has no one in the U.S. (except me). Being in medicine and not fluent in Chinese, the only possible career for me in Taiwan is teaching. So, in order to be with her I changed my major to teaching from physical therapy. Just recently, we decided that after I teach for a year in Taiwan, I will probably pursue a master degree in teaching English to further expand our possibilities. About two months ago I hired a private Chinese tutor who teaches in ㄅㄆㄇㄈ because that is the method still used in most Chinese language schools in Taiwan. I've been diligently studying Chinese and working hard with my tutor to learn as much as I can before I go there to teach and leave everything behind just to be with her. All she does is work. Now that you know the story let me lead on to the issue.

I begin to question her seriousness very recently when we had a small dispute about my Chinese language study. It all begin when I asked her to help me practice. At first I asked her once a week. But then I realized that I need more practice. So I asked her to help me practice at least three times a week. It's not that she doesn't have time: she come home from work around 6Pm M-F and is off weekends. The timing works out for me. And guess what her reply was? Here is what she said: "You're expecting too much" ...

When I heard that I seriously asked myself if she A) just doesn't want to help me or B) is too easy going and just doesn't care how much I learn?

What do you think?


What I'm thinking is why can't I find a man like this? :fume: :lol:
@michellemalkin Just so we're perfectly fucking clear here: You're a crazy fucking shitwad. Enjoy your night. Read more at @MayorEmanuel
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby Mother Theresa » 23 Apr 2010, 13:32

No offense intended, but you call that a man?

Changing his major and career plans and busting his butt to learn Chinese for her. . . :loco:
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby tommy525 » 23 Apr 2010, 13:42

Come on, aint you done anything for LOVE???? Never watched Romeo and Juliet?? Too pragmatic to be a dreamer?

NO belief in destiny?
:D

YOU lawyers are just .......... lawyers.

(making all that money and living the good life with a good wife, but....not a dreamer ooh no)

p.s. nama dont give up. come to sf, I will help you track down someone.

p.p.s to OP. Relax and chill. It takes a long time to be together with someone body and soul (the body is easy the soul much much much much harder). Dont spend your time begruding her. Let all small things slide and make big things into small things where you can. And if you cant, take a deep breath and try again.
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby Feiren » 23 Apr 2010, 13:58

housecat wrote:Having been there and done that, as both the language teacher and the language learner in a relationship, I can say that you are possibly asking too much. And you're possibly thinking too much, too.

Hire a tutor. Let your girl friend be your girl friend.


I agree. I would not teach my s.o. anything let alone English.
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby Mucha Man » 23 Apr 2010, 14:03

Most long term couples you talk to will tell you that SO make lousy teaching partners. Also, to be perfectly honest, young Taiwanese women can be extremely selfish about being helpful. Doesn't mean they don't love you. Just background and culture.
“Everywhere else in the world is also really old” said Prof. Liu, a renowned historian at Beijing University. “We always learn that China has 5000 years of cultural heritage, and that therefore we are very special. It appears that other places also have some of this heritage stuff. And are also old. Like, really old.”

http://hikingintaiwan.blogspot.com/
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby nfsugtu » 23 Apr 2010, 14:13

Mother Theresa wrote:No offense intended, but you call that a man?

Changing his major and career plans and busting his butt to learn Chinese for her. . . :loco:



what's your occupation in TW?
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby nfsugtu » 23 Apr 2010, 14:19

Muzha Man wrote:Most long term couples you talk to will tell you that SO make lousy teaching partners. Also, to be perfectly honest, young Taiwanese women can be extremely selfish about being helpful. Doesn't mean they don't love you. Just background and culture.


thank you
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Re: Does she respect me or is she just very easy going?

Postby Mucha Man » 23 Apr 2010, 14:57

BTW, if I were you I would continue with my medical studies or at least science. Biotech is a promising field here and you won't need chinese to work for a major company. And lots of foreigners work here in a variety of professional fields without any Chinese.

Teaching is a dead end for most people and there are hundreds of people with masters and PhD's competign for jobs in unis. Add to that an aging population, and the lowest birth rate in the world, and you have a shrinking field.
“Everywhere else in the world is also really old” said Prof. Liu, a renowned historian at Beijing University. “We always learn that China has 5000 years of cultural heritage, and that therefore we are very special. It appears that other places also have some of this heritage stuff. And are also old. Like, really old.”

http://hikingintaiwan.blogspot.com/
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