dating advice for white girls?

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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby mukashi » 07 Jun 2012, 13:55

bismarck wrote:
mukashi wrote:Thanks :)

Well, I am just worried because I heard so many stories of fully Taiwanese and mixed couples having troubles thanks to the parents who thinks one side is not good enough for their beloved sons/daughters that I am a little worried. But my bf seems like a perfectly normal person so I guess his parents can't be to crazy.

Any stories of your own about the "meet my parents" in Taiwan?

It doesn't matter whether you're Taiwanese or a foreigner. Parents here have a very good idea of what kind of partner they want their kids to match up with, and even if someone is Taiwanese, they may still not fit the bill. That happens a lot here too, and percentage wise may be just as much or more than Foreigner+Taiwanese hook ups.
That's why most couples here wait so long before they introduce their partner to their parents.


Well yes. But I think the problem is that Taiwanese kids do listen to their parents much more :D If my parents had a problem, that would be not perfect but I would not break up for that reason. My bf doesn't seem like one of these guys, but who knows... :D I think seeing how someone acts around parents is really a different thing, and is very important. Taiwanese kids are very filial, which is not bad I guess. But well will see.

And today my other foreign friend was telling me how being blond is not good for me in the eyes of potential Taiwanese in-laws. :noway:
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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby bismarck » 07 Jun 2012, 14:21

mukashi wrote:
bismarck wrote:
mukashi wrote:Thanks :)

Well, I am just worried because I heard so many stories of fully Taiwanese and mixed couples having troubles thanks to the parents who thinks one side is not good enough for their beloved sons/daughters that I am a little worried. But my bf seems like a perfectly normal person so I guess his parents can't be to crazy.

Any stories of your own about the "meet my parents" in Taiwan?

It doesn't matter whether you're Taiwanese or a foreigner. Parents here have a very good idea of what kind of partner they want their kids to match up with, and even if someone is Taiwanese, they may still not fit the bill. That happens a lot here too, and percentage wise may be just as much or more than Foreigner+Taiwanese hook ups.
That's why most couples here wait so long before they introduce their partner to their parents.


Well yes. But I think the problem is that Taiwanese kids do listen to their parents much more :D If my parents had a problem, that would be not perfect but I would not break up for that reason. My bf doesn't seem like one of these guys, but who knows... :D I think seeing how someone acts around parents is really a different thing, and is very important. Taiwanese kids are very filial, which is not bad I guess. But well will see.

And today my other foreign friend was telling me how being blond is not good for me in the eyes of potential Taiwanese in-laws. :noway:

I know a blond American girl in Tainan happily married to a very traditional nice Taiwanese guy. They have two beautiful children and his parents adore her. So I doubt that's much of a problem.
After my girlfriend showed my picture to her mom, later that weekend her mom offhandedly remarked, "Hmmm. I wouldn't mind have a mixed race grandchild."

So, you never know. :idunno:
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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby mukashi » 11 Jun 2012, 15:25

I'm back from the meet my parents weekend. It was great actually, and I like the parents and pretty sure they like me (were very nice, kept saying what we will do the next time). So it was successful :) Thanks for encouragement :)
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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby bismarck » 11 Jun 2012, 23:26

mukashi wrote:I'm back from the meet my parents weekend. It was great actually, and I like the parents and pretty sure they like me (were very nice, kept saying what we will do the next time). So it was successful :) Thanks for encouragement :)

Glad to hear it!! :thumbsup:
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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby chris1234 » 15 Jun 2012, 06:39

Regarding "bad boys," there is an evolutionary reason why some women choose them. In humans (and other forms of life, such as insects), closely related organisms are more likely to be nice to each other than unrelated organisms. When people were living in small groups, being "too nice" could be a sign that the person is related to you/ would suggest sex would carry the dangers of incest. In a city with millions of people, that same warning signal/ attraction process is not helpful. However, people spent more time in small groups than in large cities, so the evolutionary weight still tips the scale in a certain direction. The limited evolutionary pressures that exist, due to social supports, in modern society also hinders the drift towards a different direction. Women could be self-aware about the role of out dated drives in their date selection and push their genetic line in a certain direction/ improve their lives if they wanted.

I would add that "bad boys" aren't more exciting/ compelling than "good guys." Usually, women give some guys a chance and don't give other guys a chance. As a result, some guys get short answers to their questions, no follow up questions, and the conversation seems boring to the women. Likewise, that same women could try things with one guy (and attribute adventerous/ fun characteristics to that guy) and not try things with another guy (and therefore think he is boring). Unfortunately, a lot of women put the cart before the horse in the way they think about their evaluations of me, so they think the guy being boring caused all of this. This usually means that the women with this approach never get to learn about the exciting hobbies/ interestes/ conversational abilities/ etc. of the guy they rated as boring, so they continue to evaluate him as such. I should add that many men probably have the same kinds of failings, but this section isn't on advice for men.

The advice I would give, as a result of these phenomenon, is that white ladies should spend more time talking to potential suitors (instead of dating) in order to get to know the guys in advance. Don't ditch the boring, nice, shy guy so quickly. After peeling back some layers and learning about the guy's personality, they can make a more informed decision about who to date. Dating as a "get to know you" approach can be a real mess.
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Re: dating advice for white girls?

Postby PapaAzucar » 20 Jun 2012, 00:19

chris1234 wrote:Regarding "bad boys," there is an evolutionary reason why some women choose them.

I attribute the "bad boys" phenom to another social/biological factor using the 80/20 Pareto's Rules.

Some sociologists extended the 80/20 rule to relationships like "80% of the females are attracted to 20% of the males", and vice versa.

No, nature is not fair. Nature does not distribute attractions equally.

And here is how the 20% males can get labeled "bad boys". It can start as early as kindergarten, when a bunch of little girls like a particular boy. The girls do approach the boy maybe to sneak a kiss or innocently ask the boy to be her boyfriend. By the 2nd or 3rd time, the boy learns that he is valuable to the girls, so when the next girl asks him to be her boyfriend, the boy says "only if you give me your jello pudding". And she would agree, while the other 3 girls get jealous. The little boy recognizes this and leverage his new stud-complex demanding whatever he wants from all the girls.

I remembered a Tom Cruise interview in which he said that when he was 8, his teenaged sister's friends would come over for slumber parties. And they would use him to practice kissing. And Cruise was able to leverage that stud-complex to a Hollywood career as a sex symbol.

Another specific demographic that the 80/20 rule applies to is the Asian females to the non-Asian males. If you isolate only the specific population that is attracted to each other, than the Asian females outnumber the non-Asian males by 4 to 1.

The 80/20 rule is also true for 80% of the males attracted to 20% of the females.

At some point, the 80% that are left out re-focus their energy to someone more attainable. I have a working theory that the white girls that come to Taiwan expect that all the guys look like J-pop or K-drama stars, but get disappointed when they see that is not the case, which is why very few stay in Taiwan for the long-term.
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