Psycho Xiaojies

[bismarck]

You really got to feel for the local guys, though. Poor bastards get little to no fatherly attention and advice, get tied to their mother's apron strings whether they like it or not, then end up thinking that's normal and opt to live at home. Some wise up and bugger off out of county for uni, but get badgered into returning home to work, and living with mommy. Then the poor bastards are press ganged into marriage, again, whether they like it or not out of familial pressure to do so and produce (hopefully) male offspring. If that's not bad enough, they usually get saddled with some woman that acts out all the shit described in this thread and have to grin and bear it as "good husbands".
No wonder so many of them have opted to marry Vietnamese, Thais and Filipinos.

Don't get me wrong, I love Taiwanese women. My MiL is a Taiwanese woman, and I love her to death. The mother of my boy is a Taiwanese woman, and whatever her faults, I love her too. But I still feel for these blokes in general.

Then again, when you think of it, loads of the local ladies don't have too much of a picnic of it either, which is why it doesn't surprise me that so many of the younger ones prefer to just not get married at all.

[divea]

The mother of my boy is a Taiwanese woman, and whatever her faults, I love her too. But I still feel for these blokes in general.

Thats what the local lads think. ANd put up with psycho women. What's the difference between you and them?

You really got to feel for the local guys, though. Poor bastards get little to no fatherly attention and advice, get tied to their mother's apron strings whether they like it or not, then end up thinking that's normal and opt to live at home.

Why is it not normal to live at home?? because modern western culture says so??? I lived at home till I was 23 and then got married. The Husband lived at home till he was 27, and went with his parents to the temple and local veggie shopping in the evening till we got married. He has no less of a world view than anybody who has been on their own since they were 15.

I know I am generalising, but you are too. Why do you think staying at home is such a bad deal?

It's rhetorical.

No wonder so many of them have opted to marry Vietnamese, Thais and Filipinos.

That is so daft. Coming from someone who married a foreigner. It just goes to strengthen the argument, that all wai guo ren who are married to TW, did so, because they were getting such raw deals back home. TW marry women from other countries because the TW women are financially independent and even if they want marriage, they mostly don't want children (low birth rates) and most of them want to marry 'up' as in to Honkongese or S'poreans. Thai, Vietnamese and Filipinos also need a financial boost hence they marry TW. But you knew that already.

[bismarck]

Ummmm...

Yes. Well. Ok, then. Fine.

Thanks.

[ESTEBEVERDE]

Are the local girls really batshit crazy or do the guys from near and far drive them to it?!?!?!?

Is it safe for my kids to date???

[tommy525]

Good housekeeping seal of approval from tommy.
(but dont actually expect them to keep house- get a indo maid for that)

[tsukinodeynatsu]

Why is it not normal to live at home?? because modern western culture says so??? I lived at home till I was 23 and then got married. The Husband lived at home till he was 27, and went with his parents to the temple and local veggie shopping in the evening till we got married. He has no less of a world view than anybody who has been on their own since they were 15.

I know I am generalising, but you are too. Why do you think staying at home is such a bad deal?

I often struggle with this topic when talking to my adult students. Generally, families prevent young people from doing anything interesting or exciting and - with exceptions - the youth here lead small, boring lives centered around family, family, school friends, family, and miserable Taiwanese dining. They seem just like pet birds that have only ever lived inside a small cage - never having found food for themselves, or water, or a safe place to sleep at night; they don't have any first hand experience with the world 'outside the cage'; and, even if the cage door were to be left open one day, they would be too weak to fly very far and would soon get scared and hungry and come back inside again.

It was only when I left home and lived independently that I came to understand how small my own cage was. Suddenly, I had: my place, my car, my job, my bills, my music, my books, my shopping, my cooking, my garden, my television, my noise, my friends, my fridge, my beer and, sometimes, my girl. In every single aspect of my life it was: my rules, my responsibility. For everything. A person who has only ever been dependent simply does not understand this sense of individual achievement.

And I very strongly suspect that the young men in Taiwan would much rather be socializing and finding a little romance than going home and eating fish balls and hot oily water with mother, again, ad fucking nauseam, until the specter of balding virginity looms.

Basically, staying at home sucks balls.

[divea]

For everything. A person who has only ever been dependent simply does not understand this sense of individual achievement.

Really??? I have always been 'dependent' or lets say living with someone, first the parents and then the hubby, you think I don't know how to pay bills, budget, make my rules, carry 2 kids, hike, bike, make a home, have relationships independent of my parents or husband??? Sure I didn't know what Bukake or carpet muncher was, and I don't know the difference between hashish, ganja and weed until I turned 30, but hey, I know to spell, know currency conversion rates, volunteer, donate, live a happy productive life, and you think I don't have a first hand experience of life????????? Oh puhhhleeeaze.


Don't generalize. because like I said before, many people out there making it out on their own independent have no sense of individual achievement either because they end up achieving nothing, they don't have cash to pay their bills, no relationships to speak of, no home, no rules, and maybe they have kids but well, that's biological, they just learn to grapple with life when they're young and as adults, make grappling a habit, never realizing life can be serene.

All this staying alone BS is right there up there with sleep overs, hour glass figures, designer hand bags and douching. They don't make or ameliorate a person. I am not saying, that being on your own is a bad thing. Nopes. It can't be, but living at home doesn't automatically make you a drone.

[pgdaddy1]

For everything. A person who has only ever been dependent simply does not understand this sense of individual achievement.

Really??? I have always been 'dependent' or lets say living with someone, first the parents and then the hubby, you think I don't know how to pay bills, budget, make my rules, carry 2 kids, hike, bike, make a home, have relationships independent of my parents or husband??? Sure I didn't know what Bukake or carpet muncher was, and I don't know the difference between hashish, ganja and weed until I turned 30, but hey, I know to spell, know currency conversion rates, volunteer, donate, live a happy productive life, and you think I don't have a first hand experience of life????????? Oh puhhhleeeaze.


Don't generalize. because like I said before, many people out there making it out on their own independent have no sense of individual achievement either because they end up achieving nothing, they don't have cash to pay their bills, no relationships to speak of, no home, no rules, and maybe they have kids but well, that's biological, they just learn to grapple with life when they're young and as adults, make grappling a habit, never realizing life can be serene.

All this staying alone BS is right there up there with sleep overs, hour glass figures, designer hand bags and douching. They don't make or ameliorate a person. I am not saying, that being on your own is a bad thing. Nopes. It can't be, but living at home doesn't automatically make you a drone.

Divea, you need to distinguish between emotional dependence and financial independence. You are clearly emotionally independent even though you may be financially dependent on your hubby.

Relationships are not often a 50/50 kind, there is usually going to be one person who is reliant on the other either emotionally or financially, and often one who has the stronger and more dominant character. But if both are comfortable and happy with the relationship then that's fine. As long as there is give and take. It's when one partner becomes such a drag on the other by being dependent in all aspects, emotionally, financially etc. but gives nothing positive in return, and in addition tries to control all aspects of the other partner's life that the relationship becomes untenable, or drives the other partner (who it appears, is normally the man) crazy trying to hold it together.

[citizen k]

Really??? I have always been 'dependent' or lets say living with someone, first the parents and then the hubby, you think I don't know how to pay bills, budget, make my rules, carry 2 kids, hike, bike, make a home, have relationships independent of my parents or husband??? Sure I didn't know what Bukake or carpet muncher was, and I don't know the difference between hashish, ganja and weed until I turned 30, but hey, I know to spell, know currency conversion rates, volunteer, donate, live a happy productive life, and you think I don't have a first hand experience of life????????? Oh puhhhleeeaze.

Would you have been ostracized, chastised or been made to felt like a lesser person if you had struck out on your own? This seems to be the particular dynamic that a lot of Taiwanese face in their households if they choose to do so. Many just relent and stay in the nest, even if they wish otherwise.

[majimekun]

...Sure I didn't know what Bukake or carpet muncher was, and I don't know the difference between hashish, ganja and weed until I turned 30, but hey, I know to spell...

Obviously, you don't know how to spell Bukkake

But, apart from that, I agree with everything you wrote!
In Japan too, it's OK to live with the family even as late as the 40s.