Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

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Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby NewYorker » 14 May 2011, 05:39

I am a twenty year old guy from New York City, who is studying abroad for the year in Taiwan to learn some Chinese and experience a different culture. Though I have a preference for european/American looking girls, I don't mind locals. However, for me locals tend to have a major flaw.

I was in Taiwan the previous summer on a short-term study abroad and met a lot of girls my age, many a little bit older, because I am young. I found all of them to be extremely insecure. Insecurity is present in every culture, but it seems so much more noticeable with locals. I was often asked about my many 'American girlfriends,' wish that was true. For the large part I was constantly bombarded with questions about attractiveness etc. It seemed these local girls I was meeting were all trying to use me to boast their own confidence in themselves. I don't like being used as this kind of mechanism. I find I can't stick with this kind of girl for long and treat them not much more than a one night stand or some sort f*** buddy.

Any advice as to finding girls that have a strong sense of security? This is definitely a much more complex issue than just being a problem with local girls, so advice from people who are older than I will be greatly appreciated.

Are there many foreign-exchange students in Taipei? I will be studying at Tai-Da. From my experience I find europeans and some Americans more mature, but are there many of them? I really would like to have some casual/ maybe even formal relationships, but doesn't see local girls have the sense of security and independence that I desire. This may be also a problem with the girl I think is ideal.

Thanks for any and all advice!
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Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby jampacking » 14 May 2011, 07:09

So, since you are a foreigner in Taiwan, you'd get a lot of attention from taiwanese girls...not all girls fancy White guys, but for some girls, going out with a White guy is something to be 'proud of'.
at the same time, you might be seen as one of those irresponsible foreigners in Taiwan that would just go out and sleep with as many girls as possible.
Since you're in Taiwan therefore you find Taiwanese girls insecure... but you'd fine this is probably the case for many Asian girls.
For Taiwanese girls and guys, a lot of them don't believe the fact you can just be friends with the opposite sex; if you express kindness or being friendly to a Taiwanese girl they'd think that you like her and stuff.
Also, what I've realised was that many girls can't quite get the idea that going on a couple of days is a type of normal social behaviour, doesn't mean that you ate committed to each other.
I guess it's a type of culture difference, as attitudes toward relationships and dating are quite different in Taiwan and western countries.
You can only wait for the right one to come along!
I'm actually a Taiwanese girl but I've been living in England for quite a few years, therefore I guess I'm entitled to express some opinions ;)
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby Indiana » 14 May 2011, 10:54

If you get out and socialize, you are sure to meet a number of young, single Western women in Taipei (either working or studying there).
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby NewYorker » 14 May 2011, 10:59

jampacking wrote:So, since you are a foreigner in Taiwan, you'd get a lot of attention from taiwanese girls...not all girls fancy White guys, but for some girls, going out with a White guy is something to be 'proud of'.
at the same time, you might be seen as one of those irresponsible foreigners in Taiwan that would just go out and sleep with as many girls as possible.
Since you're in Taiwan therefore you find Taiwanese girls insecure... but you'd fine this is probably the case for many Asian girls.
For Taiwanese girls and guys, a lot of them don't believe the fact you can just be friends with the opposite sex; if you express kindness or being friendly to a Taiwanese girl they'd think that you like her and stuff.
Also, what I've realised was that many girls can't quite get the idea that going on a couple of days is a type of normal social behaviour, doesn't mean that you ate committed to each other.
I guess it's a type of culture difference, as attitudes toward relationships and dating are quite different in Taiwan and western countries.
You can only wait for the right one to come along!
I'm actually a Taiwanese girl but I've been living in England for quite a few years, therefore I guess I'm entitled to express some opinions ;)


Thanks for the response, yea I notice that as an American in Taiwan, I draw a lot more attention. Are there really few to none casual relationships that males and females can have in Taiwan that doesn't revolve around sex? Like most acquaintanceships with the opposite sex that are not school/professional related are meant to be romantic?
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby steelersman » 14 May 2011, 12:44

I was often asked about my many 'American girlfriends,' wish that was true.


I don't think that has anything to do with insecurities.
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby Indiana » 14 May 2011, 21:17

steelersman wrote:
I was often asked about my many 'American girlfriends,' wish that was true.


I don't think that has anything to do with insecurities.


Sure it does. They wonder how they size up to other women he has been with and are trying to gauge if he finds them as attractive as previous girlfriends. It is a sign of insecurity, jealousy, and immaturity.
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby davaronio » 17 May 2011, 03:33

NewYorker wrote:I am a twenty year old guy from New York City, who is studying abroad for the year in Taiwan to learn some Chinese and experience a different culture. Though I have a preference for european/American looking girls, I don't mind locals. However, for me locals tend to have a major flaw.

I was in Taiwan the previous summer on a short-term study abroad and met a lot of girls my age, many a little bit older, because I am young. I found all of them to be extremely insecure. Insecurity is present in every culture, but it seems so much more noticeable with locals. I was often asked about my many 'American girlfriends,' wish that was true. For the large part I was constantly bombarded with questions about attractiveness etc. It seemed these local girls I was meeting were all trying to use me to boast their own confidence in themselves. I don't like being used as this kind of mechanism. I find I can't stick with this kind of girl for long and treat them not much more than a one night stand or some sort f*** buddy.

Any advice as to finding girls that have a strong sense of security? This is definitely a much more complex issue than just being a problem with local girls, so advice from people who are older than I will be greatly appreciated.

Are there many foreign-exchange students in Taipei? I will be studying at Tai-Da. From my experience I find europeans and some Americans more mature, but are there many of them? I really would like to have some casual/ maybe even formal relationships, but doesn't see local girls have the sense of security and independence that I desire. This may be also a problem with the girl I think is ideal.

Thanks for any and all advice!


Hey, I only recently moved to Taiwan and live in Taipei, but I'm slightly older than you so we wouldn't run in the same crowd, but I think what's worked for me should work for you. First, I subscribe to an equal opportunity policy - i date all races, maybe some more than others. But, I haven't yet really had a real relationship with a Taiwanese girl. So, I can't give you any real advice on meeting and dating Taiwanese girls, specifically. But, here are some options you might think about in terms of meeting girls and having a relationship that's outside of work/job. Buddy up with an Asia guy who's outgoing and seems to have a solid network. Start hosting bbq or togethers at your place or in a local park (baseball games etc). Make it a weekly thing, and have these guys to invite their girlfriends and their friends. Once these events reach a certain critical mass, around Wednesdays or Thursdays, when you meet a girl in a club or bookstore, after you've hit it off with her, tell her about this weekly get together you have. Make sure that by that point, there are some girls who already go on a semi-regular basis. Invite her. Here is the key to addressing your issue: Always make sure you invite at least 2 to 3 girls you meet every week. If you feel a vibe with all of these 3 girls, one or two of them will end up having to "fight" for you a little - girls who have insecurity issues are naturally eliminated through that process. I don't like girls who are insecure either. Keep doing this every week, girls who you don't end up with may keep coming back because it is fun, and she will invite her girlfriends, etc.
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby jampacking » 17 May 2011, 07:51

NewYorker wrote:Thanks for the response, yea I notice that as an American in Taiwan, I draw a lot more attention. Are there really few to none casual relationships that males and females can have in Taiwan that doesn't revolve around sex? Like most acquaintanceships with the opposite sex that are not school/professional related are meant to be romantic?


I'm not saying that all Taiwanese girls are insecure, this is definitely not the case.
However it does seem like that Taiwanese girls or even Asian girls are generally more clingy....
I guess since you're American,
some taiwanese girls might get those cliche ideas and stereotype you as the 'romantic foreigner'
therefore they have the expectation that you want something more than just being friends.
I have to say I don't really know the reason for causing their insecurities?!
Mentally immature much?!
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby BigJohn » 17 May 2011, 08:38

Indiana wrote:
steelersman wrote:
I was often asked about my many 'American girlfriends,' wish that was true.


I don't think that has anything to do with insecurities.


Sure it does. They wonder how they size up to other women he has been with and are trying to gauge if he finds them as attractive as previous girlfriends. It is a sign of insecurity, jealousy, and immaturity.


Or common humanity! Cha bu duo? :)
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Re: Insecurity Issues with Locals, how about Euros?

Postby Lasers pew pew pew » 17 May 2011, 23:38

European women, take over your life. Stay away at all costs !!!
You're an inanimate fucking object
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